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re: Any married guys had an affair?
Posted on 10/2/17 at 3:12 pm to fr33manator
Posted on 10/2/17 at 3:12 pm to fr33manator
quote:
When my wife cheated on me and left, it broke me. She told me she never loved me. Never wanted me. And that broke whatever part of me that believed in a love like that to the core.
I read here a lot more than I post, but I remember the before and after you. It was night and day, you went from nice guy poster to bitter and cynical overnight it seemed. I felt bad for you, but I think she played you in more ways than one. Women will say anything to get out of something that they want out of, and I think thats what she did to you.
quote:
I'm incorrigible. Just a rascal and a rapscallion. I've got the wanderlust. I don't know if I'm even the settling down forever type.
you seem slightly less bitter than you did when it was fresh, but still pretty much just as cynical. its like you took that on as some sort of cloak to prevent yourself from getting hurt again. but ultimately, every minute you spend being someone you didn't intend to be is giving her power over you to this day. not one single person who has ever hurt you deserves the right to change you. that is a privilege reserved for those who love and protect your heart and grow for the better with you.
Maybe I'm just stubborn, but if you hurt me, I'll be damned if you have the satisfaction of knowing it changed me.
quote:
Besides, I've got kids. Who is gonna want to start a real relationship with someone who already has kids that aren't their own?
Most everyone in your age bracket.
We all have kids, its pretty much a given.
Until you find a way to let your authentic self be venerable and hopeful again, you should steer clear of serious relationships. because there are good women out there, probably even some interested in you, but none of them deserve to pay for the hurt that someone else caused.
1
Posted on 10/2/17 at 3:25 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Who is gonna want to start a real relationship with someone who already has kids that aren't their own
I think the majority of available women between the ages of 25-45 have kids. The beauty of it is that if things don't work out, you keep yours and she keeps hers.
Posted on 10/2/17 at 3:27 pm to Chad504boy
Posted on 10/2/17 at 3:28 pm to TigrrrDad
quote:
I think the majority of available women between the ages of 25-45 have kids. The beauty of it is that if things don't work out, you keep yours and she keeps hers.
Maybe 35-45
Posted on 10/2/17 at 4:00 pm to Rex Feral
Stop touching the dog.
Posted on 10/2/17 at 4:06 pm to NOLA Tigah 87
quote:
I love my wife
This post was edited on 10/2/17 at 4:27 pm
Posted on 10/2/17 at 4:24 pm to Robin Masters
quote:
Robin Masters
quote:
I wish my wife wanted Dicking enough to seek it outside the marriage. She gets more arousal from new shoes and steak.
Don't know about your wife, but I know girls whose husbands think they have no sex drive whatsoever. But it's only that they don't want to have sex with their husbands. I mean some ladies that will get downright nasty and the husbands think they don't want dick at all.
Posted on 10/2/17 at 4:59 pm to georgia
quote:
I read here a lot more than I post, but I remember the before and after you. It was night and day, you went from nice guy poster to bitter and cynical overnight it seemed. I felt bad for you, but I think she played you in more ways than one. Women will say anything to get out of something that they want out of, and I think thats what she did to you.
In the span of 6 months, I had a child, then she left (and I found out why) when he was a month old, I lost a good job and then my brother died. I made it to the other side, but that string of (even on their own) life altering events changed me. I'm nowhere close to the same person I was.
quote:
you seem slightly less bitter than you did when it was fresh, but still pretty much just as cynical. its like you took that on as some sort of cloak to prevent yourself from getting hurt again. but ultimately, every minute you spend being someone you didn't intend to be is giving her power over you to this day. not one single person who has ever hurt you deserves the right to change you. that is a privilege reserved for those who love and protect your heart and grow for the better with you.
I think much of the bitterness has faded, but the cynicism has been hard earned.
Women who have these FB perfect lives on display but you peek under the skirt and the truth is dark and tawdry and torrid.
And so damn tempting.
And I've seen it time and time again. The same lines, the same excuses, the same justifications. Some things you can't unsee. And honestly I think it's even helped me...well, not forgive, but at least understand some of the emotions and things my ex did in our relationship.
The addictive, druglike aspect of cheating. I just wish she hadn't kept clinging to something that was so tainted to begin with. Lots of twangs of jealousy and hurt still stem from that. The fear of being replaced.
Honestly, I don't how someone could be the same after going through all that.
quote:
We all have kids, its pretty much a given.
Wanna know the really weird thing? I'm awesome with kids. Whenever I bring my kids to the park and play I inevitably end up with a crowd of kids around me because I will tell stories to mine and play with them and the other kids and up wanting to hear the stories and play too.
But I know how much it bothers me the thought of someone else trying to replace me as "dad" and I wouldn't want to be on the other side of that.
quote:
Until you find a way to let your authentic self be venerable and hopeful again, you should steer clear of serious relationships. because there are good women out there, probably even some interested in you, but none of them deserve to pay for the hurt that someone else caused.
If They want to be with me they'll have to deal with the scars anyway. Plus I'm much more confident like I am now.
Posted on 10/2/17 at 5:00 pm to TigrrrDad
quote:
I think the majority of available women between the ages of 25-45 have kids. The beauty of it is that if things don't work out, you keep yours and she keeps hers.
How is that beauty? More collateral damage
Posted on 10/2/17 at 5:09 pm to Rex Feral
Does a handjob from another woman count? Surely women can't get mad at that.
Posted on 10/2/17 at 5:13 pm to fr33manator
quote:
How is that beauty? More collateral damage
Exactly. The thought of losing this little girl I love more than life kept me here even when I knew I should leave. Things are fine now, but yeah. If we break up, I lose so much more than him.
Posted on 10/3/17 at 11:58 am to Evil Little Thing
I hate divorce for the damage it does to kids, even if it's for the best. They are innocent and don't deserve the turmoil.
Posted on 10/3/17 at 12:04 pm to Rex Feral
quote:
Any married guys had an affair?
Never had an affair while I was married. However, I've had more than a few married chicks. But that was years ago.
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