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re: Any males on here have a positive experience with a divorce?
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:06 pm to LSUMANINVA
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:06 pm to LSUMANINVA
Yes, but it wasn't easy.
First of, get a good lawyer. Do not skimp on this. It's not going to cost you tens of thousands but it's not going to be cheap. I got the house, renegotiated child support and reduced cost, and more time with my kids. Document EVERYTHING she does. Keep tabs on any and all communications. Now is the time to treat this like a business transaction, it's no longer a relationship at this point.
The problem I've seen is that there are a lot of fathers that don't bother fighting or think they can't win. It will be an uphill battle but perseverance is key.
I'd also suggest taking up a hobby, go to the gym, surround yourself with friends and family that will support you, or even talk to a therapist. Preferably all of them. The process if contentious will suck the soul out of you.
First of, get a good lawyer. Do not skimp on this. It's not going to cost you tens of thousands but it's not going to be cheap. I got the house, renegotiated child support and reduced cost, and more time with my kids. Document EVERYTHING she does. Keep tabs on any and all communications. Now is the time to treat this like a business transaction, it's no longer a relationship at this point.
The problem I've seen is that there are a lot of fathers that don't bother fighting or think they can't win. It will be an uphill battle but perseverance is key.
I'd also suggest taking up a hobby, go to the gym, surround yourself with friends and family that will support you, or even talk to a therapist. Preferably all of them. The process if contentious will suck the soul out of you.
2
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:06 pm to LSUMANINVA
yes, one of the best decisions i ever made.
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:07 pm to bamarep
quote:
I ended up marrying the second woman I dated after my divorce. Literally the woman of my dreams. Smart, selfless, doesn't bitch or blow money, and absolutely knock down beautiful.
yeah i met the most beautiful woman in the world 6 years after my divorce and we were married 6 months later.
she's my dream and i am more in love with her today than when we married.
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:08 pm to LSUMANINVA
quote:
Any males on here have a positive experience with a divorce?
Asking for a friend.
Divorce in never really a positive experience, but the more the two of you can keep greedy lawyers out of it the better off you both will be.
Also, you both need to shoot your friend down in their tracks when they start with the frick him or frick her shite. It was your marriage, it's going to be your divorce. They don't have skins in the game.
Also. If there are kids. DO WHATS BEST FOR THE KIDS. That's what the court will be looking at.
Agreed to disagree on your marriage, but be on the same page with the kids.
Good luck to you.
ETA: Also understand that every divorce is different. Just because so and so had a good experience with X lawyer doesn't mean you will. I've seen people get "screwed" over in divorces even with the best lawyers in town because of a variety of reasons. That's why its critical for the two parties (you and your Ex.) to work together as much as possible. Lawyers want the couples to fight with each other, the longer the process takes the more they make.
Agree to as much stuff between the two of you as you can outside of the court and constantly remind the lawyers then work for you not the other way around.
This post was edited on 10/31/19 at 12:19 pm
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:08 pm to Pechon
quote:
First of, get a good lawyer. Do not skimp on this
you know the 3 top things for buying a house?
- location
- location
- location
you know the top 3 things for surviving a divorce?
- get a good lawyer
- get a good lawyer
- get a good lawyer
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:10 pm to LSUMANINVA
Mine was less devastating than most on account of no kids and few assets available for the ex to take other than my dog.
Still, it’s not fun.
Things that got way better with divorce:
Sleeping habits and average hours of sleep increased substantially
Diet got better because she was really picky and had lots of food allergies.
Other than that, it’s been pretty lame. It’s crazy what you miss when it’s all over:
Couples costumes
Holiday decorations
Shopping trips
Watching tv together
Doing basic chores together
Always having a plus 1 for events
It’s rough, for a while, adjusting to doing all of those things by yourself for yourself. At first, it’s liberating, but quickly, the payoff just feels hollow. It was a lot easier to motivate myself to do all the little annoying chores when there was someone else who would also benefit/appreciate it.
You don’t miss the person, but until you find someone else, you will miss much of the role your ex played in your daily life. The key is to find satisfaction in what opportunities this opens you up to.
Still, it’s not fun.
Things that got way better with divorce:
Sleeping habits and average hours of sleep increased substantially
Diet got better because she was really picky and had lots of food allergies.
Other than that, it’s been pretty lame. It’s crazy what you miss when it’s all over:
Couples costumes
Holiday decorations
Shopping trips
Watching tv together
Doing basic chores together
Always having a plus 1 for events
It’s rough, for a while, adjusting to doing all of those things by yourself for yourself. At first, it’s liberating, but quickly, the payoff just feels hollow. It was a lot easier to motivate myself to do all the little annoying chores when there was someone else who would also benefit/appreciate it.
You don’t miss the person, but until you find someone else, you will miss much of the role your ex played in your daily life. The key is to find satisfaction in what opportunities this opens you up to.
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:10 pm to LSUMANINVA
quote:
Any males on here have a positive experience with a divorce?
Traded a batshit stay at home nagger for an awesome chemical engineer and is 12 years younger than wife 1.0
This post was edited on 10/31/19 at 12:12 pm
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:10 pm to 777Tiger
I just hate the thought of starting over again at 40.
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:11 pm to CAD703X
quote:
you know the top 3 things for surviving a divorce?
quote:
- get a good lawyer
absolutely, but the weak link is always the judge, you may have the best lawyer in the area but the opposing lawyer might be frat brothers with the judge
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:11 pm to Pechon
I'd also like to add if kids are involved:
DO NOT SPEAK POORLY OF THEIR MOTHER. I don't care what a soul sucking succubus sloppy pig she is. Do not say this in front of the kids! Remember, she's still their mother. The minute you try to play them against her, it looks bad on you. If she's out for vengance, let her make this mistake.
Do everything you can in the time you have them. Don't buy them everything under the sun or think you have to spend a ton of money to be the cool parent. Just be their dad. Talk to them often and make them feel like they're home when they're with you. One thing I promised that if I were to move, my kids would always have their own rooms.
Don't expect co-parenting to be easy if she's not going to be mature about it. Also don't let your rights as a father be eroded. She is supposed to keep you updated on anything regarding the kids. Again, document this when she doesn't do so.
DO NOT SPEAK POORLY OF THEIR MOTHER. I don't care what a soul sucking succubus sloppy pig she is. Do not say this in front of the kids! Remember, she's still their mother. The minute you try to play them against her, it looks bad on you. If she's out for vengance, let her make this mistake.
Do everything you can in the time you have them. Don't buy them everything under the sun or think you have to spend a ton of money to be the cool parent. Just be their dad. Talk to them often and make them feel like they're home when they're with you. One thing I promised that if I were to move, my kids would always have their own rooms.
Don't expect co-parenting to be easy if she's not going to be mature about it. Also don't let your rights as a father be eroded. She is supposed to keep you updated on anything regarding the kids. Again, document this when she doesn't do so.
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:11 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
she drank herself to death
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:11 pm to LSUMANINVA
How could it be "positive" in any way.
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:12 pm to LSUMANINVA
It keeps you from strangling them
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:12 pm to 777Tiger
The divorce sucks and is tough on kids.
After time all is good.
It's a great feeling waking up on the weekend and doing whatever you want when you want.
I haven't had to miss one game I've wanted to watch where I use to have to DVR games and watch later or next day.
After time all is good.
It's a great feeling waking up on the weekend and doing whatever you want when you want.
I haven't had to miss one game I've wanted to watch where I use to have to DVR games and watch later or next day.
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:12 pm to p&g
quote:
I just hate the thought of starting over again at 40.
If you are miserable, why the hell not?
You get one chance on this planet, why spend it with someone who turned into someone you do not enjoy being around?
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:12 pm to Mud_Till_May
it was positive in that I never have to see her again
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:14 pm to LSUMANINVA
quote:
Any males on here have a positive experience with a divorce?
Who's she banging while you're at work
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:15 pm to LSUMANINVA
I had an a-hole neighbor whose wife just packed the car one day and left him. He had to sell the house at a loss and lost the kids and dogs. I hope his divorce was absolute hell.
This post was edited on 10/31/19 at 12:16 pm
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:16 pm to Adam4848
It pisses me off when my wife ask what I want to do and then she fricking starts arging with me as Im explaining it.
Posted on 10/31/19 at 12:16 pm to dakarx
quote:
Got the kids and her out of my life (almost entirely). 100% positive from my perspective.
Might want to rephrase that because it sounds like you got both the kids and wife out of your life. I think you meant it to say, "Got the wife out of my life, but got custody of the kids."
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