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re: Any males on here have a positive experience with a divorce?

Posted on 11/2/19 at 12:19 am to
Posted by OutDamSpot
Member since May 2019
336 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 12:19 am to
We were high school sweethearts, soulmates even. Then I cheated,and got caught. A "friend" told me that my wife had cheated too so i got pissed.

I demanded everything and ended up with everything, the house, the expensive vehicle she paid for, the entire bank account ( she made more than me) and all of the marital community property. She signed it over to me without a protest.

She told me to write up the papers with everything i wanted and she would sign them, and she did. I demanded demanded everything and she gave it to me, no problem.

Later i found out that my friend who said she cheated was flat out lying. She was a backstabber who wanted to get with me. I didnt want her ugly arse. I had divorced my wife over a vindictive lie.

I asked my wife why didnt she try to fight the lies and divorce.. She replied that since i had chosen to believe a known liar over her and that i had said she deserved nothing then i was someone that she did not want to be married to.

So yeah, i got everything but i lost my soulmate over my stupid pride and greed.

I guess it is a positive that i got everything though, right?









Posted by Saint Alfonzo
Member since Jan 2019
22163 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 12:49 am to
quote:

I guess it is a positive that i got everything though, right?


Positive or not, you probably got what you deserved. And your ex was better off without you.
Posted by rouxgaroux
DFW TX
Member since Aug 2011
637 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 7:42 am to
Crazy reading this stuff I’m not alone. High school sweetheart been married 22 yrs 2 kids in middle school (girls). She has never allowed me or grandparents to baby sit the kids ever. I was never allowed to build relationships with them because she is so controlling of them and has to be up there arse 24/7. She has a degree but has been out of workforce for 13 years She stayed at home. She changed I changed and it’s consistent fighting in front of kids. She insist we bring them in arguments because we’re a family. Been sleeping in spare bedroom for 6 months now. I told her I was done and leaving and she insist The least I can do is stay living like this (in her words roommates) for the next 2 years so she can go back to school and change careers. Then we can split when she gets her feet under her. What u think?
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11226 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 7:48 am to
If she’s been staying home for 13 years, I imagine you’re going to get fricked financially with alimony on top of child support. Hire an extremely good lawyer if you do.

If there’s any way you can work it out, I would hope for that first. Divorce is horrible in ways you can’t anticipate until you experience it. The loss of stability and “home” and family and community was so much worse than I could’ve expected. And that was without kids. I imagine it’s even worse with middle school aged girls.

I don’t regret getting divorced, but I can’t downplay just how much it sucks for a long time after. Good luck.
This post was edited on 11/2/19 at 7:49 am
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11226 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 7:51 am to
quote:

My friend is struggling with the idea of being considered selfish vs. the possibility of being happy.


It kind of sounds like you have someone else. If that’s the case, rip the bandaid.
Posted by TygerTyger
Houston
Member since Oct 2010
9201 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 7:57 am to
quote:

Crazy reading this stuff I’m not alone. High school sweetheart been married 22 yrs 2 kids in middle school (girls). She has never allowed me or grandparents to baby sit the kids ever. I was never allowed to build relationships with them because she is so controlling of them and has to be up there arse 24/7. She has a degree but has been out of workforce for 13 years She stayed at home. She changed I changed and it’s consistent fighting in front of kids. She insist we bring them in arguments because we’re a family. Been sleeping in spare bedroom for 6 months now. I told her I was done and leaving and she insist The least I can do is stay living like this (in her words roommates) for the next 2 years so she can go back to school and change careers. Then we can split when she gets her feet under her.


quote:

What u think?


Have a friend read this back to you as if it was happening to them and they were asking you for advice.

What would YOU advise?

Because to me, it sounds like hell no. This is not an acceptable relationship. I know you have feelings for her, or used to. But this is crazy talk.

Utmost, the damage y'all are doing to the kids had got to stop. The emotional "norms" you two are imprinting on them will leave scars that will last a lifetime.

You need to correct this shite ASAP.
Posted by Rastus
Member since Nov 2019
128 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 8:07 am to
quote:

Yup, cost me $350

Got the house, nicer vehicle, no child support, no alimony, 50/50 custody and we get along much better now.

It was just about then I realized my lawyer was a creature from the Paleozoic era...

Sounds like he did a fantastic job.

What more could you ask for in a divorce? 50/50 and no child support?

Post your lawyer's name. More people need to use him.
Posted by dgnx6
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2006
68593 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 8:10 am to
My buddy got divorced and is engaged to a lovlier woman. They didn't have kids yet so I'd assume that makes it much easier.
Posted by Rastus
Member since Nov 2019
128 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 8:14 am to
About 10 years ago I noticed almost none of my silverware matched.

Then it dawned on me. I have been married and divorced 4 times. I'm lucky I have forks and spoons.

1. Way too young - She divorced me
2. Married a whore - I divorced her
3. Married the Bitch From Hell - I divorced her
4. Married a young widow - I wouldn't live in Saint Ray's shadow - She divorced me

I am unmarried. I have a long term girlfriend. I have perfect credit. I have money in the bank. My silverware matches.

I'm good.
Posted by willeaux
Member since Jan 2006
2922 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 8:14 am to
quote:

OutDamSpot


Damn dude. Takes a big man to own up to that. I hope the future is bright for you.

Posted by OutDamSpot
Member since May 2019
336 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 9:23 pm to
quote:


Damn dude. Takes a big man to own up to that. I hope the future is bright for you.


TL;DR. Karma is a bitch

I remarried to a young woman with 3 young kids by 3 diff dads. None of the dads paid child support but i happily raised them giving them all they needed. I let my wife stay home so she didnt have to work.I loved them as if they were mine.

Wiithin a decade she had cheated multiple times and developed a drug addiction and stole money from me but i loved her kids so i put up with it. Those kids would have been living in a ghetto if not for me.

The final straw came when her kids, now teenagers, decided to lie to me about their moms new boyfriend who was spending nights at my house while i was off working my arse off to provide for her and the kids. But the kids lied about her cheating so my loyalty to them died. They lied about other things too.

I didnt bother to go home ever again. I just called the utility, phone and credit card companies and cut them all off immediately. Called landlord and terminated the lease and they were evicted. she had to move in her new bf old 2 bedroom trailer

But I'm am so thankful to her for cheating!!! What a blessing in disguise. A few months after leaving, i met an amazing woman thru mutual friends. It was her husband who my ex was shacking up with. We never would have met if not for our cheating spouses.

We became friends, then so much more and we are still happily together.she and i had been the major breadwinners in our former relationships. We sent a thank you card to our exes.

Our exes found out and were furious. By now they had figured out that each other was a brokeass liar with nothing. They knew we had all the money. We bought our dream house and are very happy. They are still broke and word is they are miserable.

Her kids still beg me for money but i remind them they have a mom, a dad and a stepdad so good luck with that

Karma is indeed a bitch.
Posted by lsucoonass
shreveport and east texas
Member since Nov 2003
68460 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 9:24 pm to
So far yes
Posted by Slingin Pickle
Fancy side of the North Shore
Member since Jun 2008
3013 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 9:26 pm to
Glorious for me. Didn’t even have a lawyer cause the ex and I were normal humans.
Posted by HM11AU
Member since Jun 2019
236 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 10:09 pm to
Posted by EA6B
TX
Member since Dec 2012
14754 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 10:59 pm to
Mine cost me about $200,000 for the property settlement, and $1400.00 per month in child support for 15 years, but no alimony. The life I have lived since since getting divorced 22 years ago has been better than i could have imagined making the divorce worth every penny.
Posted by OutDamSpot
Member since May 2019
336 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 11:15 pm to


Im pretty sure even Jerry Spring would say this story was too twisted even for his show. It is some pretty crazy stuff there.

Interestingly Shania Twain's husband cheated on her with Shania's best friend. Shania divorced him and ended up with the ex of her former best friend and are very happy.

Posted by lucaslsu
LSU!
Member since Oct 2007
8446 posts
Posted on 11/2/19 at 11:17 pm to
How did you get out of CS?
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
260404 posts
Posted on 11/3/19 at 12:25 am to
quote:

Didn’t even have a lawyer cause the ex and I were normal humans.


Same. Crazy what two grown ups can accomplish putting feelings aside.
Posted by TopFlightSecurity
Watertown, NY
Member since Dec 2018
1318 posts
Posted on 11/3/19 at 4:21 pm to
If you're career military you're fricked. Wife will get full custody since you deploy a lot, she'll get half your pension, most of what's left of your pension will go to child support. Not counting lawyer fees and losing half your savings as well.

There's a reason we've had a shite ton of mid-career NCOs off themselves recently...pretty much lose everything they've sacrificed for and only thing they have left is another deployment or RAF mission to look forward to.



Posted by LSUMANINVA
West Virginia
Member since Sep 2004
7719 posts
Posted on 11/3/19 at 6:35 pm to
It just doesn’t seem right or just.
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