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Message
re: Airport Madness......Weirdest thing you've ever seen at the airport/while flying
Posted on 2/20/14 at 2:34 pm to TexasTiger89
Posted on 2/20/14 at 2:34 pm to TexasTiger89
quote:
Sat behind Alex Trebek from Jeopardy
Thanks for clearing that up.
0
Posted on 2/20/14 at 2:39 pm to MoreofaDirtyBlonde
My mom was on a flight back to New Orleans from Vegas with some friends. Some dude tried to open the Emergency Door to jump. Undercover FBI agent tased him and he shite himself. They turned around and went back to Vegas. 
Posted on 2/20/14 at 2:48 pm to Nado Jenkins83
Flying coach from Detroit to Tokyo late last year, Delta 747, me in window seat, Asian guy in aisle seat, empty middle seat. Sometime during the night I look up front and see two older guys standing up near the bathrooms/galley area just behind first class. One guy is trying to talk/reason with the other guy who is obviously out of his mind drunk. As I watch for a few minutes, drunk guys shoves the other guy and begins walking down the aisle towards the area where I was sitting, staggering, falling all over people on either side. One flight attendant takes notice and comes over and starts yelling at the man asking where he is sitting, telling him to go find his seat, all the while the guys is totally oblivious to her. He continues staggering my way and notices the empty seat next to me and makes for it. Gets close to us and the guy has obviously soiled himself, stinking like you can imagine old man covered in whiskey diarrhea would, pants undone and about to fall off. Flight attendant yelling at him, “is that your seat?”, he ignores her, grabs Asian guys drink from off his tray table and starts drinking it, drops the cup. Asian guys stares straight ahead, perfectly still, acts like nothing is happening. Drunk guy tries crawling over Asian guys tray table and lap to get to the empty seat. I tell the flight attendant that it is not his seat, and she starts pulling on him trying to get him off the Asian guy still yelling for him to go find his seat. Drunken guy finally gets up, opens up the overhead and grabs my laptop bag and tries to stager off with my work computer. I reach back over the row of seats behind me and grab the strap to my bag trying to pull it away from him, but he had old man strength and would not let go, so I pull him bag and all towards my seat. Old drunk guy starts cussing me yelling “Who the f*** do you think you are”, then still holding my bag with one had starts hitting my with the other. By this time his wife has showed up and is crying, trying to wrap her arms around him to keep him from hitting me, yelling at him something about his medicine, flight attendant is trying to pull the guy off, Asian guy still stares straight ahead. Couple of guys from the airline finally come, don’t know if they were pilots or male flight attendants, with some of those zip-tie handcuffs. They finally get the guy back to his seat and he sits back there the rest of the flight stinking up the whole area with his jacket over his head. When we near Narita they announce for people to please stay in their seats when we land because someone needs to board. The persons needing to board were Japanese cops coming to escort drunk guy off the flight.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 2:51 pm to crap4brain
You should have knocked his arse out.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 2:52 pm to Nado Jenkins83
quote:
Undercover FBI agent tased him and he shite himself. They turned around and went back to Vegas.
Federal Air Marshall
Posted on 2/20/14 at 2:54 pm to Golfer
She said he was FBI. My mother has never told a lie. Maybe he was filling in for someone?
Posted on 2/20/14 at 2:59 pm to Nado Jenkins83
quote:
She said he was FBI. My mother has never told a lie. Maybe he was filling in for someone?
Maybe your mother doesn't know the term "Federal Air Marshall"...
This post was edited on 2/20/14 at 3:00 pm
Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:00 pm to Ignignot
nothing too bad for me, but here are my two:
1. Some lady has a psychotic break mid flight and starts wailing/screaming a scream I've never heard since. It was blood curdling. This went on for the remainder of the 25 minutes of the flight. She was escorted off once we gated.
2. Wife and I were on our way to Roatan for our honeymoon. We had a stop in Belize City (which is just a small airstrip carved into the jungle. Looks like you are crashing as youre landing). We landed I guess around noon and our puddle jumper didn't leave until 3 so this little airport (like 3 gates total) just shuts down and is deserted for what I can only imagine to be siesta. There we were, newlyweds in an empty airport with a Mexican Elvis. Dude had on a green jump suit, the requisite Elvis boots and Elvis pompadour haircut & pork chop sideburns. Fricker even sounded like The King. He kept to himself, but he sang a couple of Elvis tunes a cappella and I have to say he was good.
He flew with us to Roatan on a tiny plane and the trip was uneventful.
1. Some lady has a psychotic break mid flight and starts wailing/screaming a scream I've never heard since. It was blood curdling. This went on for the remainder of the 25 minutes of the flight. She was escorted off once we gated.
2. Wife and I were on our way to Roatan for our honeymoon. We had a stop in Belize City (which is just a small airstrip carved into the jungle. Looks like you are crashing as youre landing). We landed I guess around noon and our puddle jumper didn't leave until 3 so this little airport (like 3 gates total) just shuts down and is deserted for what I can only imagine to be siesta. There we were, newlyweds in an empty airport with a Mexican Elvis. Dude had on a green jump suit, the requisite Elvis boots and Elvis pompadour haircut & pork chop sideburns. Fricker even sounded like The King. He kept to himself, but he sang a couple of Elvis tunes a cappella and I have to say he was good.
He flew with us to Roatan on a tiny plane and the trip was uneventful.Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:02 pm to Jobu93
Oh, and we flew Groupo TACA from Houston to Belize. I know they catch a lot of shite for lost luggage, but we were treated like royalty on that flight (and others since) and the food & wine service was quite good. NOT FIRST CLASS, either.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:05 pm to TigersSEC2010
Sat next to Jackie Slater on a flight from Orange County to Phoenix. Every guy within about 4 rows was having the time of his life talking football with Slater. Every woman in that same area was trying to figure out how to open the exit row hatch. Slater is one hell of a quality dude. He asked me who my team was and I told him the Saints. He cringed and said he hated playing the Dome Patrol.
On another trip, I had upgraded to 1st class and was sitting in the 1st row aisle. Guy with a briefcase comes in and takes the window seat. The flight attendant asked if she could take his briefcase for him. He handed it over and said, "Be careful. It has a bomb in it." This is post-9/11 mind you. The FA took it and walked directly off the plane and up the jetway. When I saw the TSA agents at the door of the plane, I just got up and walked a couple of rows down the aisle to avoid any collateral damage as they dragged his arse off the plane. I often wonder if he is still getting butt-raped in prison.
On another trip, I had upgraded to 1st class and was sitting in the 1st row aisle. Guy with a briefcase comes in and takes the window seat. The flight attendant asked if she could take his briefcase for him. He handed it over and said, "Be careful. It has a bomb in it." This is post-9/11 mind you. The FA took it and walked directly off the plane and up the jetway. When I saw the TSA agents at the door of the plane, I just got up and walked a couple of rows down the aisle to avoid any collateral damage as they dragged his arse off the plane. I often wonder if he is still getting butt-raped in prison.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:08 pm to crap4brain
There is a direct flight from Vegas to New Orleans (Southwest) that arrives 12:30 am.
Not long after 911, I sat in the aisle seat, exit row. A redneck sat in the seat in front of me with 2 young black guys (about 16 or so). The neck is pounding drinks and getting LOUD. I could see the black guys eying each other with wtf expressions. A lady comes from the rear of the plane, apparently his wife. She tries to calm him but the drunk is screaming "F U" in her face. He just goes off, cussing a blue streak. In the middle of all of this, he calmly asks the flight attendant for another drink. "No, you've been cut off." I overheard the flight attendant tell the wife we would land in Dallas if she could not calm him down. Neck passes out so we were able to continue to NOLA.
There were 9 cops lined up in the jetway at MSY upon deboarding.
Not long after 911, I sat in the aisle seat, exit row. A redneck sat in the seat in front of me with 2 young black guys (about 16 or so). The neck is pounding drinks and getting LOUD. I could see the black guys eying each other with wtf expressions. A lady comes from the rear of the plane, apparently his wife. She tries to calm him but the drunk is screaming "F U" in her face. He just goes off, cussing a blue streak. In the middle of all of this, he calmly asks the flight attendant for another drink. "No, you've been cut off." I overheard the flight attendant tell the wife we would land in Dallas if she could not calm him down. Neck passes out so we were able to continue to NOLA.
There were 9 cops lined up in the jetway at MSY upon deboarding.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:20 pm to KingBarkus
Flying out to Dubai this Summer, should I expect anything different than most other international flights?
Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:27 pm to Clyde Tipton
quote:
I've flown many times since then. I figure if I was already in a bad flying situation once, odds are it won't happen again. Theoretically, you want me on your plane.
I used to think that way. Until my dad put one down for the second time. The first time probably wouldn't considered a crash, but the FAA did come look around to see what happened.
The second time, he was cut as bad as I've ever seen someone cut. His forehead hit the stick, and it split his skull between the eyes, which were now on the side of his head, like a hammerhead shark.
This post was edited on 2/20/14 at 3:28 pm
Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:30 pm to beachdude
Leaving Hawaii in my honeymoon, flying back to LAX. Flight boards and then is delayed about an hour with no explanation. During this time, those of us with window seats can see this guy in a jumpsuit checking out the plane from nose to tail, obviously looking for something. Eventually he starts up the ramp and is greeted by the pilot. I couldn't hear the exchange from where I sat, but he was pretty pissed. After a few minutes he throws his hands in the air and storms off. Pilot goes back to the cockpit and an attendant gets on the pa to apologise for the delay. Guy spins around, grabs the mic from attendant and addresses the plane.
"Hello passengers and thank you for flying United. I apologize for the delay, you see, a warning light came on in the cockpit and as mechanic on duty I'm obligated to investigate. Unfortunately, I was unable to pinpoint the problem but your pilot assured me that this plane 'always does this and its no big deal.' Anyway, he can't be bothered to delay you fine folks any longer, so best of luck to you and I'll say a prayer just to be safe." Then he hands the mic to the stunned attendant and leaves the plane.
Predictably my wife and most other passengers went absolutely apeshit. It took the pilot and who I guess was the mechanic supervisor on duty an additional hour and a half of crawling hands and knees all over the plane, as well as constantly assuring everyone on board, before the "problem was found and repaired" and we were cleared to take off.
Funny now but really sucked at the time.
"Hello passengers and thank you for flying United. I apologize for the delay, you see, a warning light came on in the cockpit and as mechanic on duty I'm obligated to investigate. Unfortunately, I was unable to pinpoint the problem but your pilot assured me that this plane 'always does this and its no big deal.' Anyway, he can't be bothered to delay you fine folks any longer, so best of luck to you and I'll say a prayer just to be safe." Then he hands the mic to the stunned attendant and leaves the plane.
Predictably my wife and most other passengers went absolutely apeshit. It took the pilot and who I guess was the mechanic supervisor on duty an additional hour and a half of crawling hands and knees all over the plane, as well as constantly assuring everyone on board, before the "problem was found and repaired" and we were cleared to take off.
Funny now but really sucked at the time.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:42 pm to Jobu93
quote:
Oh, and we flew Groupo TACA from Houston to Belize. I know they catch a lot of shite for lost luggage, but we were treated like royalty on that flight (and others since) and the food & wine service was quite good. NOT FIRST CLASS, either.
TACA (RIP) had the best wine for an airline.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 3:55 pm to Clyde Tipton
I garantee she does. Maybe your being a fig
Posted on 2/20/14 at 4:16 pm to Nado Jenkins83
Posted on 2/20/14 at 4:16 pm to lsu fan cw
quote:
The weirdest thing was traveling to Germany and getting on a DC10 that aborted its takeoff. Scared the shite out of me. No one was killed but it totaled the plane.
You were really on that flight? I'd love to hear more about it.
My experience was aboard a United CRJ-200 at Dulles. It was July and hot as sin and we had ground a/c hooked up to the aircraft. Apparently you're not supposed to close the main cabin door while ground a/c is flowing because the plane can't expel air fast enough from the cabin and it will begin to overpressurize. It did, hurting our ears, and in turn the flight attendant made mistake no. 2: she opened the galley door opposite the main entry door. It banged open and bent the door/door frame (she tried to slam it closed several times and couldn't).
They didn't let us off of the aircraft for about 30 minutes and I was ready to pitch an absolute fit if they tried to fly anyway (Mesa is not one of the more professional small jet providers). I felt sorry for the flight attendant but figured she got fired for making two serious mistakes in a row.
Note orange a/c hose.
Off the plane, now the door won't close.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 4:22 pm to SuperflyLSU
Final approach into Birmingham, AL during a thunderstorm. Plane is being thrown around like a toy. Just as the plane is about 5 seconds from touchdown (right as we go over I-59 for those who know B'ham airport) the right side wing suddenly dips way down. I'm sitting in the window seat right behind the wing and just happen to be looking at the wing when it dips down. It looks like the wing cleared the fence separating the airport from Tallapoosa Street by inches. After we're safely on the ground and I am walking by the cockpit where the crew thanks us for flying with them, I overhear a conversation between an attendant and the pilot where she asks "Wind shear? What's wind shear?". I about fainted.
Posted on 2/20/14 at 4:25 pm to Nado Jenkins83
quote:
Maybe your being a fig
Trust me, when it comes to your mom and I, it has nothing to do with homosexuality.
This post was edited on 2/20/14 at 4:31 pm
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