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02/14/2019: Valentine's Day Masturbation Massacre

Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:12 am
Posted by arseinclarse
Member since Apr 2007
35469 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:12 am
LINK

quote:

A 33-year-old single man from Bloemfontein in South Africa died on Valentine’s Day afternoon after he masturbated 62 times in a row. It has been reported that the man, identified as Davido Mabuza, self-pleasured himself a world record 62 times, before dying of a heart attack. It is speculated that he was suffering from depression due to being ‘extremely lonely’ on Valentine’s Day. David’s mother called security officials after discovering his corpse in his room. Officer Ronny Mkhize told Nusa reporters what they saw when they opened David’s bedroom door. “The young man was on his bed… his pen*s was detached from his body, it must have been so intense it just came off his body, we found his pen*s gripped in his left hand so tightly we couldn’t get it out, it was tragic”.


Posted by NFLSU
Screwston, Texas
Member since Oct 2014
21412 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:13 am to
0/10
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
89339 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:13 am to
Over 24 hours, that's once every 23 minutes How much dust was shooting out towards the end?
Posted by MorbidTheClown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
76769 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:13 am to
quote:

his pen*s was detached from his body


well, might as well be dead.
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33054 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:13 am to
How did they get the 62 number?
Posted by arseinclarse
Member since Apr 2007
35469 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:14 am to
His mother confirmed
Posted by brucevilanch
Fort Worth, Tejas
Member since May 2011
24418 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:14 am to
How do they know the exact number of times he jerked off? Was he keeping notes?
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34932 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:15 am to
quote:

self-pleasured himself a world record 62 times


Hold my frickin beer









quote:

his pen*s was detached from his body, it must have been so intense it just came off his body, we found his pen*s gripped in his left hand so tightly we couldn’t get it out, it was tragic”.


Oh shite, nevermind give me my beer back
This post was edited on 2/15/19 at 11:17 am
Posted by LSUJuice
Back in Houston
Member since Apr 2004
18053 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:17 am to
Why are they avoiding spelling out penis?
Posted by Winston Cup
Dallas Cowboys Fan
Member since May 2016
66985 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:18 am to
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
135024 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:18 am to
I mean, if you’re gonna write a fake story, at least make it a good one
Posted by Hangover Haven
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
34713 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:19 am to
quote:

masturbated 62 times in a row


How the frick is that even possible...

quote:

after discovering his corpse in his


Who says that?

Daily Pakistan

another...

This post was edited on 2/15/19 at 11:24 am
Posted by dchotard
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2008
1352 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:23 am to
Why are you reading dailypakistan.com?
Posted by Ed Osteen
Member since Oct 2007
59340 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:28 am to
love some fake news stories
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
106010 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:29 am to
Challenge accepted. BRB.
Posted by CarolinaGamecock99
Member since Apr 2015
24892 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:40 am to
So how did they know how many times he did it?
Posted by HammerheadLincoln
The farther west the farther out
Member since May 2015
5807 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 11:44 am to
yeah, this doesn't sound real at all
Posted by mofungoo
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2012
4583 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 12:16 pm to
Hold that tiger...
Posted by TDsngumbo
Member since Oct 2011
51573 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 12:25 pm to
quote:

we found his pen*s gripped in his left hand

How could they see it with all the hair on his palm?
Posted by IT_Dawg
Georgia
Member since Oct 2012
26806 posts
Posted on 2/15/19 at 12:26 pm to
That time.....when you should have stopped at 61, it would’ve been enough
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