re: Armageddon is the finest film ever made

Buscemi has some great lines in this one. When they're going out for their "last night on earth":

“This place is like Dr. Seuss's worst nightmare!”

“You are so messin' with national security right now, man! You are fired tomorrow morning, I'm tellin' ya! I'll get the CIA and the FBI, you'll be workin' security at Toys R' Us!”


“- Grace Stamper: First time I got my period, Rock had to take me into Tai-Pei for Tampax. And then he had to show me how to use them, Harry.
- Rockhound: Ho-ho. I ju- No I-I told her how to use it. I didn't show her, Harry.”

“- Chick: I never told anybody this before, but I hate flyin'. So it would be an awful shame to die now.
- Rockhound: That's easy for you to say. I owe 100 grand to a fat-arse loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.
- Chick: Boy, that's bad.”

"You wanna compare brainpans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12. Big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22. Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princeton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, okay?"



And their list always cracks me up.

" Just a few things here.
Nothing really big. Just-- Well, as an example--
Uh, Oscar here's got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants 'em wiped off his record.
Fifty-six tickets in seven states.
I'll tell him, Oscar. I got it. Okay.
Uh, Noonan's got two women friends...
that he'd like to see made American citizens, no questions asked.
Max would like you to bring back eight-track tapes.
Not sure if that's gonna work, but let's see what else.
Chick wants a full week's Emperor's Package at Caesar's Palace.
Hey, you guys wouldn't be able to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?
Uh, Bear would like to stay at the...
White Horse.
White House. White House.
White House. Yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House...
for the summer.
Stuff like that.
Sure, I think we can take care of some of that.
Harry!
Yeah, one more thing.
None of them wanna pay taxes again.
Ever."

Its dumb as hell but I always get a kick out of watching it.

The scene where they essentially just crash land the shuttle on the asteroid and skid out was right out of Airplane 2

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Steve Buscemiwith a great line

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My favorite quote of his in that movie was

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You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder.

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Let's not forget the Evil Knievel jump across the canyon with the thrusters.

One of my favorite movie quotes of all time…

“So we’re going swimming on this asteroid”?

Liv Tyler does it for me, her daddy is hideous and mom isn't much to look at, but she came out OK.

I absolutely love this movie. It's peak 90s American cinema and a relic from a time long-since past. As the years continue to go by and separate us from the summer of 1998, I look back on all the stuff from that period we viewed as trash in the moment with loving pride. Films like Armageddon will never be made again.

We're talking about an original IP, made for almost $300 million in today's money, being released on the Fourth of July holiday weekend. Ain't happening in 2026.

Ive watched it maybe 3 times and the 2 rewatches were just because nothing else was on. Its not even in the top 100.