re: Wife getting 1/2 401K via divorce

Appreciate it Fat B. Thankfully I'm only down 7% this past year due to shifting some funds around. I know it could be better, however, I'll take it.

I have a great job and make good money I'd say, challenge will be making up ground and continuing to pay for my two boys who are in college. I promised them I would, can't let them down due to mom's crap. They both work and help as best they can. Mom says she won't help with college, even by backing off of 401K demands. Boys don't know that. They do know enough to tell me not to get back together with her under any circumstances. I've been taking the high road best I can. They figured it all out on their own.

Looking back, I could have done some things differently financially, especially leading up to the filing. It just came to a point where F that. Couldn't look the other way any longer.

Ridiculous divorce laws we have. She’s incentives to cheat with te reward of half your retirement account.

Do you have a lawyer? May be able to get some of it back through a reimbursement claim.

Reading threads like this has really convinced me


I think ima just get a bunch of wives like Mormons and not marry them and have them all apply for food stamps since they’ll be single moms in the eyes of the law

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Neither is spousal support,

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Just FWIW, permanent spousal support is difficult to get in LA and, based on OP's assertions, will likely be VERY difficult for his wife to get (assuming they're true)

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I'd consider giving her more money from non-401k assets to offset that amount as much as possible. For example, giving her more than 50% equity in the house.

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WRONG....WRONG.....WRONG!!!!!

as I stated above, that is exactly what he shouldn’t do.

Let’s take the house. Let’s assume that he paid $300,000 for his house and it’s now worth $600,000. If he gives his wife the house in exchange for his pension and his wife were to sell the house immediately after the divorce, she would have a capital gain of $50,000 after her $250k exemption.

For him, however, every dime he takes out of his 401(k), will be taxed as ordinary income.

I know this is a very simplistic example, however, the wife with the house will essentially clear about $590,000 on the $600,000 she got and the husband would clear about $400,000 on a $600,000 he got.

Making assumptions and trying to do some sort of tax adjusted swap is extremely difficult given the assumptions you would have to make on taxes and date of distribution/sale.

Of course, if his ex-spouse is willing to take the pension in exchange for the house on a dollar for dollar basis, he should jump all over it.

Sounds like she was a financial liability instead of an asset. I've been there. You can try to negotiate with her. Sometimes exes without much will take a payout now instead of waiting til later.

Max out your 401k - which for 50 and over now is 30,000. So you have a little less in your paycheck, you're just one guy now. Lower your living standards.

But get her paid off now instead of her having more later. This way its done and everything you accumulate from here on out is just yours! It'll help your piece of mind.

My no good ex also got part of my pension which she gets to share with her POS adulterous boyfriend now.

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1.5ish instead of 2.5ish.

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That is in man dollars, that is like 4 million in married dollars.

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if he can prove infidelity, does that negate alimony entirely, including pendente lite alimony?

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Nothing eliminates interim spousal support other than a pre-nup or stipulation of the parties.

It runs out 6 months after the divorce.

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That doesn't mean what you think it means.

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Sure it does

If he has been married to her for 10 years, she is not remarried and is 62 or older, she will get a SS benefits….no doubt about that.