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UPDATE: she turned the offer down. What are things to consider when entertaining a
Posted on 6/6/24 at 9:38 am
Posted on 6/6/24 at 9:38 am
Update for those who care (no one I’m sure lol).
She had a busy week so I waited for her to call us but she didn’t. So I asked her this am if she’d thought any more about the offer. She said she needs to let them know NO .. I asked what helped her with that decision and she said that she has more purpose in her current job. So proud of her!! (And I agree with her for sure.)
——————————-
What can you add to this list for me???
Current/New salary (new salary is $20K more BUT she makes it on her current salary)
Current/New benefits - insurance, pto (she lives 6 hours from home so pto/flexibility are a factor, especially at holidays when retail requires so much)
Current/New retirement
Current/likely new job satisfaction
Stability of each job
Flexibility of each job
Personal 5 year goal/plan
Asking as my husband and I haven't changed jobs in 25+ years -- our 23 year old daughter called us to talk through a new job offer that came her way unsolicited. She called us happy/confused as to what to do ... of course it is her decision but she's asking what to consider.
We've thrown out what I've listed above but WHAT WOULD YOU ADD TO THAT LIST? What are we missing that we should suggest that she should give thought to?? Again, we're only "involved" as she called to discuss with us.
(The long story ... she worked at a retail store for 3 years during college. She loved the store and the owners (they own 2 stores and are opening a third). She'd have loved to manage one but when she graduated college, they weren't in need of a manager. She ended up working at the university in admissions/campus visits/orientation office and loves loves LOVES her job and the people that she works with. Health insurance is covered by employer, vision/dental are cheap; retirement is good; pto is amazing; university holidays are a bonus and the flexibility is wonderful in general. She's been there since September of 2023.
Her old bosses called her last night -- they're opening a new store and want her to be one of two managers. All she knows at this point is the salary and that health insurance would be in the talk; unsure about retirement/vision/dental.
So please add any thoughts on what we should encourage her to consider.)
She had a busy week so I waited for her to call us but she didn’t. So I asked her this am if she’d thought any more about the offer. She said she needs to let them know NO .. I asked what helped her with that decision and she said that she has more purpose in her current job. So proud of her!! (And I agree with her for sure.)
——————————-
What can you add to this list for me???
Current/New salary (new salary is $20K more BUT she makes it on her current salary)
Current/New benefits - insurance, pto (she lives 6 hours from home so pto/flexibility are a factor, especially at holidays when retail requires so much)
Current/New retirement
Current/likely new job satisfaction
Stability of each job
Flexibility of each job
Personal 5 year goal/plan
Asking as my husband and I haven't changed jobs in 25+ years -- our 23 year old daughter called us to talk through a new job offer that came her way unsolicited. She called us happy/confused as to what to do ... of course it is her decision but she's asking what to consider.
We've thrown out what I've listed above but WHAT WOULD YOU ADD TO THAT LIST? What are we missing that we should suggest that she should give thought to?? Again, we're only "involved" as she called to discuss with us.
(The long story ... she worked at a retail store for 3 years during college. She loved the store and the owners (they own 2 stores and are opening a third). She'd have loved to manage one but when she graduated college, they weren't in need of a manager. She ended up working at the university in admissions/campus visits/orientation office and loves loves LOVES her job and the people that she works with. Health insurance is covered by employer, vision/dental are cheap; retirement is good; pto is amazing; university holidays are a bonus and the flexibility is wonderful in general. She's been there since September of 2023.
Her old bosses called her last night -- they're opening a new store and want her to be one of two managers. All she knows at this point is the salary and that health insurance would be in the talk; unsure about retirement/vision/dental.
So please add any thoughts on what we should encourage her to consider.)
This post was edited on 6/8/24 at 11:21 am
Posted on 6/6/24 at 9:44 am to tiger91
Honesty I wouldn’t make that change. She could make 20k in a side job working the increase hours she would be. Universities assuming it’s with the state has retirements unbeatable and quality of life is so much better. Plus Jon security is so much better
Posted on 6/6/24 at 9:45 am to tiger91
I've done the "make more money but dislike your coworkers" thing. It'd have to be a big enough monetary difference that my lifestyle outside of work significantly improves to make it worth it. You're going to get stressed at work and encounter stressful situations... its a lot better when you like the people you're around and going through it with.
The commute and what the commute will look like in 5-10 years is important. Is it a high growth area? Is that area prepared for the growth, or are you going to see thousands of cars on roads built for hundreds?
The commute and what the commute will look like in 5-10 years is important. Is it a high growth area? Is that area prepared for the growth, or are you going to see thousands of cars on roads built for hundreds?
Posted on 6/6/24 at 9:52 am to tigerbacon
Honestly I 100% agree .. and so does my husband. But I'm 54 and treasure all time off with a family and grandbabies ... and the flexibility to me is super important. But I haven't said that to her. I just want to make sure that she thinks ALL facets through and she doesn't know what all facets to think about which is why she called us.
Her degree is marketing/communications and they would want her involved from that aspect as well. Which excites her.
The things that I shared with her off hand are that she likes to come home when she can ... retail will have her working at least one day every other weekend if not both and forget the trip home for holidays (selfishly that's a part of why I don't want her to take the new job BUT I HAVE NOT said this). I shared that she got tired of working with other employees who just drove her nuts for whatever reason -- being a boss wouldn't be easy. She'll be paid more but she'll be working more as well.
I know that as a 23 yo she sees $$$ and I would too ... like if she had to buy a new car at this point idk that she could without our help. Fortunately her little Toyota has 125K miles and can roll for a while.
Lastly she's in graduate school paid by the university -- it's a higher education degree which she's not sure what she'd do with it but it's a free education and ties with her current job. She wouldn't continue I don't think with this if she took the new job but it's not a deal breaker for her.
Her degree is marketing/communications and they would want her involved from that aspect as well. Which excites her.
The things that I shared with her off hand are that she likes to come home when she can ... retail will have her working at least one day every other weekend if not both and forget the trip home for holidays (selfishly that's a part of why I don't want her to take the new job BUT I HAVE NOT said this). I shared that she got tired of working with other employees who just drove her nuts for whatever reason -- being a boss wouldn't be easy. She'll be paid more but she'll be working more as well.
I know that as a 23 yo she sees $$$ and I would too ... like if she had to buy a new car at this point idk that she could without our help. Fortunately her little Toyota has 125K miles and can roll for a while.
Lastly she's in graduate school paid by the university -- it's a higher education degree which she's not sure what she'd do with it but it's a free education and ties with her current job. She wouldn't continue I don't think with this if she took the new job but it's not a deal breaker for her.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 9:53 am to VolSquatch
Commute not a factor -- she's 10/15 minutes from either place. Both in the same town of Oxford, MS. Doubt much growth but who knows .. the university is busting at the seams.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 9:56 am to tiger91
Those seem like two completely different career paths with different long-term prospects. If I were in your daughter’s position, I would attempt to figure out what I like about each job experience, what I hate about each experience, and what the next steps would be be in either path.
For example, with the retail store, I might consider if I enjoyed training/supervising new staff, interacting with customers, etc. If I take some time to reflect and determine that I got satisfaction from being a supervisor but less so interacting with customers, then I would hesitate to pursue retail management, but it would tell me that I should pursue some other type of management role.
Put another way, in five years if I’m looking to move on to another area or another job, what is the work experience that I want to show future employers? Do I want to build the skills and experience to manage a group of stores? Do I like the university environment and want to pursue administrative roles in academia (and what would be required for advancement there)? Those are the kind of things that I would prioritize if I were looking at this decision.
For example, with the retail store, I might consider if I enjoyed training/supervising new staff, interacting with customers, etc. If I take some time to reflect and determine that I got satisfaction from being a supervisor but less so interacting with customers, then I would hesitate to pursue retail management, but it would tell me that I should pursue some other type of management role.
Put another way, in five years if I’m looking to move on to another area or another job, what is the work experience that I want to show future employers? Do I want to build the skills and experience to manage a group of stores? Do I like the university environment and want to pursue administrative roles in academia (and what would be required for advancement there)? Those are the kind of things that I would prioritize if I were looking at this decision.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 10:02 am to Dead Mike
Completely agree .. two ends of the spectrum. And she loves both which is what's killing her I think. Thank you for this and these thoughts .. will share with her when she calls to really talk. The call last night was more "oh my goodness .. they just called .. this is the salary and health insurance will play into this". She was in tears. Her Ole Miss job is actually her second -- the first job of 3 weeks was a disaster and the OM job landed in her lap and she was beyond thrilled. She always says "I can't believe I'm paid to do this!".
It'll require some soul searching on her part ... I personally think university experience will set her up more than managing a retail store will.
I supposed if she actually ASKS what we would do we'd tell her what we would do .. other than that it's unsolicited and she's very much a people pleaser.
It'll require some soul searching on her part ... I personally think university experience will set her up more than managing a retail store will.
I supposed if she actually ASKS what we would do we'd tell her what we would do .. other than that it's unsolicited and she's very much a people pleaser.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 10:11 am to tiger91
quote:
Both in the same town of Oxford, MS
First off, your daughter is extremely lucky to have the ability to stay in Oxford, I hope to return their post work life one day

If she wants to stay in Oxford, I would continue working for Ole Miss. The work life balance is going to be much better. She is very young though, and if she is interested in more of a career and money, she needs to leave Oxford and try a larger town. I would entertain moving to Texas, but I am biased and live here. Large Ole Miss alumni population in DFW and amazing place to start a family.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 10:14 am to DarthRebel
Darth she LOVES Oxford and honestly so do we. She's been fortunate for housing thus far but it's getting ridiculous. She says that she never wants to leave BUT she also says that the "eligible pool" of guys will lessen the older that she gets.
She used to say that she never wanted to leave (Velvet Ditch casualty) but now she says "well maybe I won't be here forever". (She's hinted at Nashville "one day maybe".)
I just think that retail won't set her up for a future, even managing. It'll always be a rat race.
She used to say that she never wanted to leave (Velvet Ditch casualty) but now she says "well maybe I won't be here forever". (She's hinted at Nashville "one day maybe".)
I just think that retail won't set her up for a future, even managing. It'll always be a rat race.
This post was edited on 6/6/24 at 10:15 am
Posted on 6/6/24 at 10:35 am to tiger91
The long term prospects in higher education administration in terms of salary are quite poor without a doctorate. But it’s probably better experience on a resume if she wanted to pivot into a higher paying private industry job in marketing or communications.
Ultimately, I think that should be the goal no matter which route she takes in the meantime.
Ultimately, I think that should be the goal no matter which route she takes in the meantime.
This post was edited on 6/6/24 at 10:36 am
Posted on 6/6/24 at 10:45 am to TheWalrus
I so agree. OM will look way better on a resume .. also she makes many many connections via campus visits with not only potential students/families, but with counselors and big donors, some being quite prominent.
Time will tell if she does or not.
Time will tell if she does or not.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 11:49 am to tiger91
Just wanted to say, I love that she is involving you in this. kuddos on a job well done
Posted on 6/6/24 at 12:29 pm to Penn
Thanks .. she and I are very very close. I read all of the “what to do with teens” in the OT. We’ve got 3 (31, 26, 23) and have never had trouble with any of them.
It’s a mutual respect that we have for each other .. and a lot of love.
She’s an independent, smart, awesome young woman who will do well in life. But I am glad that she feels that she can come to us to talk things out .. which leads to her figuring it out for herself.
It’s a mutual respect that we have for each other .. and a lot of love.
She’s an independent, smart, awesome young woman who will do well in life. But I am glad that she feels that she can come to us to talk things out .. which leads to her figuring it out for herself.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 2:29 pm to tiger91
I wish I had parents who could give me career advice, but my mom was a stay at home mom, and unfortunately all of her advice is not rooted in the way things work in reality. My dad owns his own business and he can't quite think outside that box. Very cool to have a mom and/or dad you can bounce ideas off of.
On the job prospect, I would tell her to wait until the flattery of an unsolicited job offer to wear off or at least have her look past the flattery. Make a list of what has the best long term career satisfaction. The type of people and problem solving involved with retail is very different than what you experience in a professional workplace. I'd say the university is going to be more thought provoking and problem solving oriented. The retail is probably less stressful and you can probably leave work at work.
On the job prospect, I would tell her to wait until the flattery of an unsolicited job offer to wear off or at least have her look past the flattery. Make a list of what has the best long term career satisfaction. The type of people and problem solving involved with retail is very different than what you experience in a professional workplace. I'd say the university is going to be more thought provoking and problem solving oriented. The retail is probably less stressful and you can probably leave work at work.
This post was edited on 6/6/24 at 2:33 pm
Posted on 6/6/24 at 2:42 pm to tiger91
quote:
Lastly she's in graduate school paid by the university -- it's a higher education degree which she's not sure what she'd do with it but it's a free education and ties with her current job. She wouldn't continue I don't think with this if she took the new job but it's not a deal breaker for her.
To me, this part right here is a decent deal, along with the flexibility of the university job. The only other part I'd consider is the idea of how big the retail company could become? Is there a possibility in becoming a state wide, region wide, or nation wide company? If she's in a managerial role early on in a growing company, there could be major upside down the road; however, I agree that with the information at hand, she will be much happier where she is with the time off she has, a continued paid education, and maybe even growth within the university.
I imagine 20k is a big jump percentage wise for her right now, so maybe she should consider where she sees herself with the university, too. Have a candid conversation with her current boss about this doesn't hurt. It could give her a chance to discuss her current future.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 2:51 pm to tiger91
quote:
I know that as a 23 yo she sees $$$ and I would too ... like if she had to buy a new car at this point idk that she could without our help. Fortunately her little Toyota has 125K miles and can roll for a while.
Lastly she's in graduate school paid by the university -- it's a higher education degree which she's not sure what she'd do with it but it's a free education and ties with her current job. She wouldn't continue I don't think with this if she took the new job but it's not a deal breaker for her.
She's 23, she has all the time in the world to work. My advice would be that she politely decline with the excuse that she really wants to finish off that graduate school but that she would be open to another opportunity if they are still looking once she's through with school.
Aside from that, there's a LOT to be said for work/life balance but that's a whole different angle of view when you're 23 vs what you and I see (I'm 55) after having lived and worked for so long. All you can do is give her the best advice and back it with as sound reasoning as possible then sit back as she makes her choices.
She either makes a great choice or she learns a valuable lesson.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 3:02 pm to tiger91
quote:
Her degree is marketing/communications and they would want her involved from that aspect as well. Which excites her.
Considering the university schedule and PTO benefits, any chance she can do this as a side-gig for the retail store. She could even work part-time for them considering her flexible schedule; and combining the 2 would most likely make up the $20k difference.
quote:
Lastly she's in graduate school paid by the university
Saw someone else point this out, but I would leverage this as the reason she would need to politely decline the offer to manage one of the stores; however, maybe she could work with them part-time, or as a consultant, for the marketing/communications side.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 3:52 pm to tiger91
The most important question is “does she want to work in retail for a career?”. If so, seems pretty obvious. If she is indifferent or hasn’t even considered that kind of thing yet then she should probably stay put.
Posted on 6/6/24 at 4:50 pm to beaverfever
Replying to you beaver but thanks to everyone for some really good points to bring up to her for her to mull over.
Like I intend to make a list so I’ll have them to discuss when she calls us back about this.
I too think that she needs to calm down from the being flattered part of the job offer .. and yes indeed flexibility is what is “older” people like .. and I highly doubt that she wants a true career in retail. I do believe that she saw $$$ initially and has likely calmed down and given it some thought throughout the day. It’s their super busy orientation season but she’ll have to be thinking hard about this.
And yes to perhaps she could help them get it all set up. That’s a great thought.
Thanks to all again.
Like I intend to make a list so I’ll have them to discuss when she calls us back about this.
I too think that she needs to calm down from the being flattered part of the job offer .. and yes indeed flexibility is what is “older” people like .. and I highly doubt that she wants a true career in retail. I do believe that she saw $$$ initially and has likely calmed down and given it some thought throughout the day. It’s their super busy orientation season but she’ll have to be thinking hard about this.
And yes to perhaps she could help them get it all set up. That’s a great thought.
Thanks to all again.
This post was edited on 6/6/24 at 5:00 pm
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