re: New job offer with 19% bump in salary. Same position with different company

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As a general rule I never accept offers made by a current employer to match that of a new job offer. I also never also offer to match an offer a current employee gets. If it gets to that point they’re usually mentally checked out

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Same here. That being said I do try to not take advantage of good workers. May managers think back at what they made at that age/stage and don't realize what the current market value is for certain jobs. I try to make sure the people that work for me know I appreciate them, not just with money. The ones that aren't dependable fall behind.

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I've done it 3 times over the last 25 years. I can't imagine a boss getting pissed about it. I've never demanded to walk, but said hey I was approached by XYZ and they made me a really good offer. Twice the offer was matched and the 3rd time was close enough I chose to stay.

If I was the boss I'd want my valued employees to give me the opportunity to keep them.

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This. Unless you are working for a large company with many people that do the same position as you, its very difficult to know an employees actual value.

The idea that you should not present your new situation to your current employer/ supervisor if you enjoy your current job is laughable to me. First off, you don't actually enjoy your job or have a good supervisor if you can't have that conversation on good terms.

It very well could be your company has a promotion or other opportunity coming up to offer you more they just haven't had the opportunity to organize it. It also could easily be they haven't needed a new "x position" in 5 years and the market value has gone WAY up.

As an employer, I want my employees to come to me and I want to help them advance in my own company and elsewhere. That's the only way you keep the best employees really. Most employees that are happy with a stagnant position really are not the best long term. I understand there are exceptions, but my point is that both sides should be promoting moving up for better pay. There are plenty of times in life when you simply are not looking for more pay but if an opportunity presents itself out of nowhere you will stay jump.

I have always told my employees to come to me before they get an offer, I want them to tell me if they are unhappy or looking for something else. A good manager knows their top performers, who is a flight risk, and should have a plan for each employee. Once an offer comes, see you later, you are checked out.

On to the other question, total compensation is key, not just salary. I was once offered a job with higher salary but bonus was not as good and didn’t take it, they came back and increased the offer. I can also say, quality of life is not shown in the offer letter. Company culture, political capital, friendships and alliances are hard to build and maintain. Are you better off at the other company losing all you had gained, if so take the job.

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Once an offer comes, see you later, you are checked out.

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I disagree. The only way to actually know what you can make is to have an offer from someone else. That's not to say that you may be currently overpaid. The only time this subject comes up is when another company offers a better offer, but there are plenty of people that interview somewhere else and their offer is not as good. They just don't come on here and post about it.

As a manager, if an employee leaves I always try to have an exit interview that includes discussing them coming back in the future potentially.

I always have a "make me move" number so to speak. Recruiters I've worked with over the years send me stuff from time to time.

It comes down to your answer as to whether the increased salary is worth the change and potential risk/uncertainty. In general, I am an advocate of chasing the money as long as it doesn't move you "backwards" in your career, but some people prefer longer periods of stability. It also can vary depending on your particular industry.

Where are you in 3-5 years in both companies?

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I have always told my employees to come to me before they get an offer, I want them to tell me if they are unhappy or looking for something else. A good manager knows their top performers, who is a flight risk, and should have a plan for each employee

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I am not sure I would tell my management I was seeking other opportunities. If I am looking for other work there is usually underlying issues beyond pay. If I need to tell my management I am looking for work because x,y,z somewhere management is dropping the ball.