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re: Conjoining your account with your siginificant other
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:40 pm to atrain5
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:40 pm to atrain5
Just don’t see the need for separate accounts. Be open and honest about expenses, don’t be unreasonable, contribute to the marriage in other ways, and don’t play the comparison game.
We have a joint account and have had no issues. Having a joint account also helped my wife get interested in being financially responsible and we are both better off for it.
Don’t think there is a right or wrong, but separate accounts would not be for me.
We have a joint account and have had no issues. Having a joint account also helped my wife get interested in being financially responsible and we are both better off for it.
Don’t think there is a right or wrong, but separate accounts would not be for me.
1
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:41 pm to notsince98
Everyone has their own opinions and different things work for different couples.
My wife and I couldnt imagine not having our joint account. We also meet monthly and budget together down to dollar. So we each know what is expected for the month.
Discuss with your significant other and decide what route yall decide to do. Anyone that tells you otherwise is only stating what works for them and doesnt have an open opinion that different things work for different couples.
My wife and I couldnt imagine not having our joint account. We also meet monthly and budget together down to dollar. So we each know what is expected for the month.
quote:This is also what we did. We each have our own accounts. We each have direct deposit for the discussed amounts that goes straight to our personal accounts. But our joint account is where all of the bills and normal household spending comes from.
I wouldn't conjoin anything. I would open a new joint account. Should be quick and easy and you can do it completely online.
Discuss with your significant other and decide what route yall decide to do. Anyone that tells you otherwise is only stating what works for them and doesnt have an open opinion that different things work for different couples.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:42 pm to atrain5
We've shared checking, savings and credit card accounts for 17 years and it works well. Never even questioned not doing it.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 1:03 pm to atrain5
We had the same talk before we were married. Decided to join our accounts 100% — we have an everyday account, bill account, and savings account. Her check goes into one, mine into the other and we distribute from there.
For us it makes things really easy and before long it wasn’t “her money” or “my money” it was just “our money”.
Anyway, there isn’t a right answer, y’all just need to find what works best for your marriage, regardless of everyone else does. In my opinion, the biggest thing is that you are open and transparent with each other.
For us it makes things really easy and before long it wasn’t “her money” or “my money” it was just “our money”.
Anyway, there isn’t a right answer, y’all just need to find what works best for your marriage, regardless of everyone else does. In my opinion, the biggest thing is that you are open and transparent with each other.
This post was edited on 11/16/21 at 1:07 pm
Posted on 11/16/21 at 1:10 pm to atrain5
IMO, don't marry somebody that you can't be on the same page with about not having "your money" vs. "my money."
If you can't trust your wife with full access to all of your money, you're a dumbass for being married to her. And if she can't trust you to have full access to all of "hey money" then she's a dumbass for marrying you.
If you can't agree on spending with each other, you're dumb for being married to each other.
If you can't trust your wife with full access to all of your money, you're a dumbass for being married to her. And if she can't trust you to have full access to all of "hey money" then she's a dumbass for marrying you.
If you can't agree on spending with each other, you're dumb for being married to each other.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 1:17 pm to atrain5
I think you’ll just see the true “joint” accounts that my parents and grandparents had happen less and less as time goes on.
With the days of physical paychecks and going to the bank to move cash now eradicated, funds are able to flow in and out of accounts on autopilot. In this environment keeping most of your original accounts and just adding one for the marriage will be simpler (and seem more normal) for younger couples.
With the days of physical paychecks and going to the bank to move cash now eradicated, funds are able to flow in and out of accounts on autopilot. In this environment keeping most of your original accounts and just adding one for the marriage will be simpler (and seem more normal) for younger couples.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 2:23 pm to CarRamrod
quote:
most divorces happen because of finances... joining accounts IMO is the start of that. What me an my wife do is, we have a joint account and we both deposit a percentage of our earning into that account and all bills are paid out of that account. The percentages were discussed and negotiated based on each of our income.
Exactly what we did. As long as everything is laid out from the get go, it’s much easier to pay all bills through a joint account; however, thankfully, we don’t need to be in every transaction we make for each other. Having a joint account specifically for bills, restaurants, vacations, etc…..much cleaner and less arguments.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 2:30 pm to atrain5
My wife and I keep one shared account for household bills and what we have agreed to move to investments each month.
We each keep a separate account, that neither has oversight into the other, with an agreed to amount of money that we put in each month. These separate accounts will save you many arguments and pain down the line.
When it comes to credit cards, make sure you have insight into those, because if she runs up debt (or vice-versa) you will own that debt as well.
Financial independence in a relationship, while sometimes difficult to execute, can save your marriage long-term.
We each keep a separate account, that neither has oversight into the other, with an agreed to amount of money that we put in each month. These separate accounts will save you many arguments and pain down the line.
When it comes to credit cards, make sure you have insight into those, because if she runs up debt (or vice-versa) you will own that debt as well.
Financial independence in a relationship, while sometimes difficult to execute, can save your marriage long-term.
This post was edited on 11/16/21 at 2:32 pm
Posted on 11/16/21 at 2:36 pm to RolltidePA
quote:
When it comes to credit cards, make sure you have insight into those, because if she runs up debt (or vice-versa) you will own that debt as well.
Good point and thankfully my wife doesn’t really use credit cards. As much as I enjoy pinching every benefit off of them, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about CC’s altering her spending habits since she’s somewhat cheap like me
Posted on 11/16/21 at 2:37 pm to BRIllini07
quote:
Do not fully join finances.
This kind of absolute is useless. There are pros and cons of most of the options being suggested.
Ultimately, if you believe your spouse is wasting money, whether or not it’s in a joint account won’t make you any happier.
“Yeah, I don’t know if my wife saves anything while she spends the bulk of her money on lease payments for her new BMW every year, but we have separate checking accounts so it works for us.”
This post was edited on 11/16/21 at 2:41 pm
Posted on 11/16/21 at 9:44 pm to Huey Lewis
quote:
IMO, don't marry somebody that you can't be on the same page with about not having "your money" vs. "my money."
or just be like me and
quote:
don't marry somebody
Posted on 11/16/21 at 9:59 pm to Jag_Warrior
My wife and I are recently married and in the process of combining it all. It’s a bit of an adjustment but we have always been open about finances.
I manage the finances for the HH and I’m currently in the process of rebuilding a combined budget. I’m so accustomed to my spending categories but it’s an adjustment to see dollars in categories that I rarely used beforehand.
I manage the finances for the HH and I’m currently in the process of rebuilding a combined budget. I’m so accustomed to my spending categories but it’s an adjustment to see dollars in categories that I rarely used beforehand.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:01 pm to atrain5
WTF is wrong with you?
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:40 pm to atrain5
Joining accounts with my wife made our lives easier. We make similar incomes so perhaps that helps. But since we’ve joined accounts, we haven’t had any issues with money
Posted on 11/17/21 at 5:19 am to atrain5
My wife and I keep everything separate and have one joint account that is used for the mortgage.
The reason being is that our mortgage is the only joint expense so we set up the separate account and have the mortgage on autopay.
The reason being is that our mortgage is the only joint expense so we set up the separate account and have the mortgage on autopay.
Posted on 11/17/21 at 5:57 am to atrain5
All our accounts are joint accounts.
Her business has a separate account.
I don’t think I’m on it.
We had little to no money when we got married.
Now we are “rich.”
Neither of us a conspicuous consumers except for my golf membership! We pay all bills in full each month. We max all retirement accounts.
I guess we should do a budget sometime, but we never had a spending problem.
Her business has a separate account.
I don’t think I’m on it.
We had little to no money when we got married.
Now we are “rich.”
Neither of us a conspicuous consumers except for my golf membership! We pay all bills in full each month. We max all retirement accounts.
I guess we should do a budget sometime, but we never had a spending problem.
Posted on 11/17/21 at 7:21 am to makersmark1
quote:
I guess we should do a budget sometime, but we never had a spending problem.
This is the boat we are in. This past year was tight as hell because we bought a new house, renovations, and getting use to the home expenses. Luckily, I am getting a decent raise this year and she did very well negotiating her raise.
Posted on 11/17/21 at 7:48 am to atrain5
Every situation is different. In most ways your finances are intimately linked whether or not you actually share checking and/or savings accounts.
This can be bad news if it turns out your new spouse (like my sister in law) was not disclosing very large credit card debt. Extended family obligations can be an issue in cases where one party is supporting (or partially supporting) other family members such as parents or children. If you are both onboard with that support it can be managed but if there are other financial stressors at a future date both the spouse providing the help and the spouse indirectly assisting have to keep their priorities straight.
Money can be (along with extramarital sex or a lack of marital sex) one of the biggest land mines for a husband and wife to manage. An extremely common scenario is for one partner to be a saver and the other to be a spender. If the saver manages the finances but provides the spender a reasonable amount of play money (for coffee or whatever) then that can potentially be managed- but in many relationships it can lead to divorce
This can be bad news if it turns out your new spouse (like my sister in law) was not disclosing very large credit card debt. Extended family obligations can be an issue in cases where one party is supporting (or partially supporting) other family members such as parents or children. If you are both onboard with that support it can be managed but if there are other financial stressors at a future date both the spouse providing the help and the spouse indirectly assisting have to keep their priorities straight.
Money can be (along with extramarital sex or a lack of marital sex) one of the biggest land mines for a husband and wife to manage. An extremely common scenario is for one partner to be a saver and the other to be a spender. If the saver manages the finances but provides the spender a reasonable amount of play money (for coffee or whatever) then that can potentially be managed- but in many relationships it can lead to divorce
Posted on 11/17/21 at 8:03 am to atrain5
Get on the same page.
We've been married 1 year and have hit a few bumps in the road around finances. Mostly due to weird circumstances (i.e wife had 7 months with no income, big spend on moving across the country twice in 1 year, etc.).
Furthermore, be sure you both understand what you're saving, how you came to that number, and what the short and long term goals are. While she was working for 4 years she was contributing 6% to a 403b, and thought that if she just maintained that she would coast into retirement easily one day.
IMO if you're on the same page about everything, you will be fine.
We've been married 1 year and have hit a few bumps in the road around finances. Mostly due to weird circumstances (i.e wife had 7 months with no income, big spend on moving across the country twice in 1 year, etc.).
Furthermore, be sure you both understand what you're saving, how you came to that number, and what the short and long term goals are. While she was working for 4 years she was contributing 6% to a 403b, and thought that if she just maintained that she would coast into retirement easily one day.
IMO if you're on the same page about everything, you will be fine.
Posted on 11/17/21 at 8:17 am to POCKET
quote:
Just don’t see the need for separate accounts. Be open and honest about expenses, don’t be unreasonable, contribute to the marriage in other ways, and don’t play the comparison game.
Agreed:
But my wife and I do have 4 accounts.
A joint checking account all money gets deposited into.
From that account we pay all bills and necessities
A savings account. We drop a percentage into that account for savings and some of it goes to brokerage.
2 other joint checking accounts. One is mine and one is hers. A percentage gets auto transferred to each of these accounts each month for our own personal spending on whatever we want.
All of them are joint accounts and we both have access to them all. But it’s a smart idea to have “separate” joint accounts just for miscellaneous spending so you don’t monitor or care about what the other person spends money on. If they have the money in their account they can spend it however they want.
Communication, trust, and honesty are the keys to marriage.
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