- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
It's time for some Skip Bertman Classic Quotes
Posted on 3/10/22 at 9:36 pm
Posted on 3/10/22 at 9:36 pm
I am watching "Hold The Rope" on ESPN, which is about Skip Bertman in case you never heard about it, and wanted to post some of his greatest quotes.
Skip used to tell potential recruits, "Son, you can go to that other school and try to lead them to Omaha, or you can come to LSU and go to Omaha with us."
Let's start off with those legendary Mississippi State quotes:
"The Census Bureau performed a study to figure out why Starkville's population hadn't changed in 20 years. They finally figured out that girl gets pregnant, guy leaves town."
"A tornado once went through Starkville and did $1 million in improvements"
"Everytime I go to Starkville I ask for a room without a view"
"Starkville is the Indian word for Trailer Park"
"Ron Polk got married 3 times, and he never changed in-laws."
"Team plane lands in Starkville, and the pilot says 'Welcome to Starkville, please set your clocks back 20 years!'"
"We're giving Ron a lifetime achievement award for living in Starkville (Miss.) for 35 years"
"A student from Miss. State won the science fair. He made a stick out of piece of wood."
"Our team bus got stopped by the Miss. police when we crossed the river. We were charged with trying to transport books into the state."
Things he said on the mound to his pitchers:
"Doug Thompson: Skip, I feel great & have a lot of energy left, don't pull me. Skip Bertman: Great. turn around & look at your outfielders, they're exhausted."
"Son, I am trying to win a national championship here, and you aren't helping...."
"I've been watching you pitch lately and if you've been taking steroids, you need to get your money back." (Paul Byrd)
"Son, you are embarrassing yourself, your family, and this institution"
"I'm not pulling your fricking arse. You got us into this fricking mess, you get us out".
"It's not your fault, it's my fault. I never should have recruited you."
Others:
"Don't blame the kid. I am the one who thought he could pitch." (Postgame Press Conference)
"In Omaha, we'll be staying at the LaQuinta. That's Spanish for 'next to Denny's.'"
"I want to village their pillage!" (Pregame Speech)
Skip used to tell potential recruits, "Son, you can go to that other school and try to lead them to Omaha, or you can come to LSU and go to Omaha with us."
Let's start off with those legendary Mississippi State quotes:
"The Census Bureau performed a study to figure out why Starkville's population hadn't changed in 20 years. They finally figured out that girl gets pregnant, guy leaves town."
"A tornado once went through Starkville and did $1 million in improvements"
"Everytime I go to Starkville I ask for a room without a view"
"Starkville is the Indian word for Trailer Park"
"Ron Polk got married 3 times, and he never changed in-laws."
"Team plane lands in Starkville, and the pilot says 'Welcome to Starkville, please set your clocks back 20 years!'"
"We're giving Ron a lifetime achievement award for living in Starkville (Miss.) for 35 years"
"A student from Miss. State won the science fair. He made a stick out of piece of wood."
"Our team bus got stopped by the Miss. police when we crossed the river. We were charged with trying to transport books into the state."
Things he said on the mound to his pitchers:
"Doug Thompson: Skip, I feel great & have a lot of energy left, don't pull me. Skip Bertman: Great. turn around & look at your outfielders, they're exhausted."
"Son, I am trying to win a national championship here, and you aren't helping...."
"I've been watching you pitch lately and if you've been taking steroids, you need to get your money back." (Paul Byrd)
"Son, you are embarrassing yourself, your family, and this institution"
"I'm not pulling your fricking arse. You got us into this fricking mess, you get us out".
"It's not your fault, it's my fault. I never should have recruited you."
Others:
"Don't blame the kid. I am the one who thought he could pitch." (Postgame Press Conference)
"In Omaha, we'll be staying at the LaQuinta. That's Spanish for 'next to Denny's.'"
"I want to village their pillage!" (Pregame Speech)
13
Posted on 3/10/22 at 9:37 pm to tadelatt
75% of statistics are made up
75% of Skip Bertman quotes are made up
75% of Skip Bertman quotes are made up
Posted on 3/10/22 at 9:43 pm to tadelatt
quote:
The Census Bureau performed a study to figure out why Starkville's population hadn't changed in 20 years. They finally figured out that girl gets pregnant, guy leaves town."
Good one but I’m thinking Skip never said that.
Posted on 3/10/22 at 9:56 pm to tadelatt
“and we’ve accumulated lots of stuff”
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:00 pm to TigerBR1111
I don’t think they are made up. Most of them are legit. I have heard Skip speak many times at banquets and other functions and have heard him tell most of these jokes first hand. When he gets rolling he can put 99percent of the stand up comics out there to shame.
I remember when Saban was first hired. I was at an alumni banquet at the Jefferson Orleans in Metairie and Skip Saban and Brady were the speakers. Skip was giving a serious and moving account of a real storm they had had in Starkville and the punchline was the million dollars in improvements. It brought the house down. That was the first and only time I ever saw Saban cracking up laughing.
I remember when Saban was first hired. I was at an alumni banquet at the Jefferson Orleans in Metairie and Skip Saban and Brady were the speakers. Skip was giving a serious and moving account of a real storm they had had in Starkville and the punchline was the million dollars in improvements. It brought the house down. That was the first and only time I ever saw Saban cracking up laughing.
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:05 pm to tadelatt
Got this one from the end of Hold The Rope:
"You can't get mad at the umpires. Listen, they aren't really umpires. They're school bus drivers, and butchers at the local Winn-Dixie."
"You can't get mad at the umpires. Listen, they aren't really umpires. They're school bus drivers, and butchers at the local Winn-Dixie."
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:07 pm to geauxpurple
quote:
Skip Saban and Brady were the speakers
Perhaps the apex of LSU athletics
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:08 pm to red sox fan 13
I wanted to post that picture
Will always pretend that’s John Brady’s hand between Saban’s arm
Will always pretend that’s John Brady’s hand between Saban’s arm
This post was edited on 3/10/22 at 10:10 pm
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:11 pm to The Boat
Ive never seen that
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:13 pm to tadelatt
A former player said Skip walked passed his locker, turned around and said to him "I thought I ran your sorry arse off last year". Skip turned, walked into his office shaking his head.
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:13 pm to The Boat
My cousin, born in 2000, has 3 signed recruitment letters from those 3. Pretty cool thing they used to do.
That picture doesn't just sum up a golden age in LSU athletics. It sums up a golden age in college sports in general. Pre-social. Pre-mass cellphones. Pre-ESPN politics. Big sponsorship money in athletics. Great times in sports.
That picture doesn't just sum up a golden age in LSU athletics. It sums up a golden age in college sports in general. Pre-social. Pre-mass cellphones. Pre-ESPN politics. Big sponsorship money in athletics. Great times in sports.
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:17 pm to The Boat
Yep. That was it. Skip was at his best that day but that picture must have been taken between jokes since Saban has his customary scowl on his face.
This post was edited on 3/10/22 at 10:22 pm
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:24 pm to tadelatt
Pillage their village is Luis Garcia
Skip was friends with Ron - Heck, we even had Will Clark and Raphael Palmeiro help with our camps
‘Warning Track Power’ to Mouton, really fired him up
Hold the Rope stories were never the same
‘Guys…’
‘Everyone must have faith’
Skip was friends with Ron - Heck, we even had Will Clark and Raphael Palmeiro help with our camps
‘Warning Track Power’ to Mouton, really fired him up
Hold the Rope stories were never the same
‘Guys…’
‘Everyone must have faith’
This post was edited on 3/10/22 at 11:51 pm
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:33 pm to tadelatt
My wife was at a realtor's banquet years ago and Skip related this story to the group:
Skip said he was just wrapping up the day's practice when a young man walks over to the practice field from the married students apartments. He comes uo to Skip and says coach, I'd like to try out for the baseball team. Skip says he was a little astounded but, hey, be here at 9;00 in the morning and we'll give you a look. The guy says that's great coach, thanks a lot, but I might be 20 minutes late. Skip says, oh no, if you want a try out you get yourself over here at 9:00 am sharp. The guy shows up the next morning on time and Skip has him take batting practice. Skip is simply amazed. The guy is hitting nearly every pitch out of the park. Pitch after pitch. Son, that's incredible. Look, that's all for today. Be here at 9;00 in the morning and we'll have another look. The guy says ok coach, but I just might be 20 minutes late. Son, if you seriously want to make the team, you'll be here at 9:00 on the button. Sure enough, the guy shows up at 9:00 and, again Skip is amazed at the young man's batting skill. Not only is he knocking nearly every pitch out of the park, but now he's batting left-handed. Skip can't believe it. Son, yesterday you were belting them out of the park batting right-handed and today you're doing the same left-handed. How do you explain this? Well coach, says the guy, when I wake up in the morning and my wife is sleeping on her right side, that day I bat right-handed. If I wake up and she's sleeping on her left side, then I bat left-handed. That's preposterous, says Skip. So what do you do if, say, she's sleeping on her back. Well coach, says he, then I might be 20 minutes late.
Skip said he was just wrapping up the day's practice when a young man walks over to the practice field from the married students apartments. He comes uo to Skip and says coach, I'd like to try out for the baseball team. Skip says he was a little astounded but, hey, be here at 9;00 in the morning and we'll give you a look. The guy says that's great coach, thanks a lot, but I might be 20 minutes late. Skip says, oh no, if you want a try out you get yourself over here at 9:00 am sharp. The guy shows up the next morning on time and Skip has him take batting practice. Skip is simply amazed. The guy is hitting nearly every pitch out of the park. Pitch after pitch. Son, that's incredible. Look, that's all for today. Be here at 9;00 in the morning and we'll have another look. The guy says ok coach, but I just might be 20 minutes late. Son, if you seriously want to make the team, you'll be here at 9:00 on the button. Sure enough, the guy shows up at 9:00 and, again Skip is amazed at the young man's batting skill. Not only is he knocking nearly every pitch out of the park, but now he's batting left-handed. Skip can't believe it. Son, yesterday you were belting them out of the park batting right-handed and today you're doing the same left-handed. How do you explain this? Well coach, says the guy, when I wake up in the morning and my wife is sleeping on her right side, that day I bat right-handed. If I wake up and she's sleeping on her left side, then I bat left-handed. That's preposterous, says Skip. So what do you do if, say, she's sleeping on her back. Well coach, says he, then I might be 20 minutes late.
Posted on 3/10/22 at 10:44 pm to aremore
quote:
That's preposterous, says Skip. So what do you do if, say, she's sleeping on her back. Well coach, says he, then I might be 20 minutes late
LOL
Posted on 3/11/22 at 8:15 am to tadelatt
regarding pitching line up.
I'm pitching my Friday guy on Friday. I can't sweep em' if I don't win Friday.
I'm pitching my Friday guy on Friday. I can't sweep em' if I don't win Friday.
Posted on 3/11/22 at 9:24 am to tadelatt
Some of those quotes are absolutely gold!
Still love the one where he says "It's not your fault, it's my fault. I never should have recruited you."
Still love the one where he says "It's not your fault, it's my fault. I never should have recruited you."
Posted on 3/11/22 at 10:56 am to tadelatt
"Ron Polk got married 3 times, and he never changed in-laws."
made coffee go through my nose.. damn you..
made coffee go through my nose.. damn you..
Posted on 3/11/22 at 11:33 am to tadelatt
quote:
's not your fault, it's my fault. I never should have recruited you."
That’s a Spurrier quote according to Danny Wuerffel
Posted on 3/11/22 at 11:46 am to aremore
quote:
My wife was at a realtor's banquet years ago and Skip related this story to the group: Skip said he was just wrapping up the day's practice when a young man walks over to the practice field from the married students apartments. He comes uo to Skip and says coach, I'd like to try out for the baseball team. Skip says he was a little astounded but, hey, be here at 9;00 in the morning and we'll give you a look. The guy says that's great coach, thanks a lot, but I might be 20 minutes late. Skip says, oh no, if you want a try out you get yourself over here at 9:00 am sharp. The guy shows up the next morning on time and Skip has him take batting practice. Skip is simply amazed. The guy is hitting nearly every pitch out of the park. Pitch after pitch. Son, that's incredible. Look, that's all for today. Be here at 9;00 in the morning and we'll have another look. The guy says ok coach, but I just might be 20 minutes late. Son, if you seriously want to make the team, you'll be here at 9:00 on the button. Sure enough, the guy shows up at 9:00 and, again Skip is amazed at the young man's batting skill. Not only is he knocking nearly every pitch out of the park, but now he's batting left-handed. Skip can't believe it. Son, yesterday you were belting them out of the park batting right-handed and today you're doing the same left-handed. How do you explain this? Well coach, says the guy, when I wake up in the morning and my wife is sleeping on her right side, that day I bat right-handed. If I wake up and she's sleeping on her left side, then I bat left-handed.
That's preposterous, says Skip. So what do you do if, say, she's sleeping on her back. Well coach, says he, then I might be 20 minutes late.
Page 1 of 2
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News