TulaneLSU's brief review of Zuppardo's 85/15 ground beef New Orleans style hamburgers

Dear Friends,

The novel virus that has killed, caused worldwide panic and Sinophobia, and continues partisan political squabbles has me questioning my eating patterns. There is a growing body of research that connects novel human viruses with our close contact with animals. Whether that be in a wet market or a large scale chicken or pig farm in Mississippi, it seems to me that eating meat from such sources is perhaps unethical as well as playing a role in introducing these viruses to humans.

I am, therefore, considering becoming a vegetarian, or at least a pescatarian. In order to accomplish this potential goal, I realize I am going to have clear out my freezer of all the meat and bones. My perquisition of the freezer yielded this evening some beautiful Zuppardo's 85/15 ground cow muscle and fat. After thawing it, I was ready to prepare.

Now, Tom Fitzmorris, friend and mentor of all who love New Orleans food and cooking, used to say that the number of years old you are should dictate how frequently you eat a burger. If you're 30, you should eat a burger only once every 30 weeks. If you're 60, you should only eat a burger every 60 weeks. This rule of thumb seems restrictive, but as I age, I realize just how much wisdom our dear friend shares. Our heart's health depends on such a rule, as does our planet's health -- you can consider both the role beef production plays on climate change and the potential for mutation of animal viruses. Beef is delicious, but I wonder what role it should have in the virtuous person's diet.



With Ben's Burgers temporarily shut -- I sure hope he didn't sand away my signature on his table -- I decided I wanted to do a New Orleans style burger tonight. Or two. I formed the beef in two 1/2 pound patties. Is it just me or does the feel of cool ground beef in the palms at the same time disgust and excite you? To season it, I chose Tony Chachere's salt free seasoning. I don't know why I use this seasoning because I always also add salt when I use it. Yes, I then sprinkled a hefty amount of salt and pepper on each side.

As the grill was heating, I prepared 6 slices of Hormel black label precooked bacon, which I get at Sam's for about $10 for a bag that says it is equivalent to three pounds of raw bacon. I heated these slices for 29 seconds in the microwave. I like 29 because it is a Markov number and former Hornets coach, Paul Silas, wore that jersey when he was in the NBA. Nice and crispy, but not overcooked bacon is what we are trying to achieve.

The grill was to 600, enough to burn away the leftover debris from yesterday's fateful and spectacular sockeye salmon failure. Flames were roaring as the fat started dripping from the burgers. I flipped after three minutes and fifty seconds because I learned from the OT that 350 is a perfect number. And people sometimes laugh when you type it.

After another 350, I put a layer of Great Value brand shredded sharp cheddar. I get this high quality product at Walmart. Large bags work out to around $2.50 per pound. Now I realize you're thinking, "TulaneLSU, I thought you said this was a New Orleans style burger. Don't you know that that style uses cold, not melted cheddar?"



My dear friend, yes, but thank you for reminding us. This burger, however, is a unique form of the New Orleans style burger. What I do next is cut with my fingers three slices of bacon and layer them on the melted cheddar. Make sure the bacon coverage is symmetric, winsome, and full.



Cut off your grill. Take your burgers off the grill and put into a room temperature bun. I prefer the value brand buns, but Bunny will do. I do not like Pepperidge Farm, as I find those buns are too dense and have too much flavor. A good burger often is best with nothing else except a plain bun. The plainer the bun, the better your burger's meat will shine.

Now here is where the New Orleans style burger comes in. At the last moment, just seconds before you are to eat the burger, layer another clump of shredded cheddar on the bacon mat.





C'est magnifique! Have a wonderful evening, my friends!

Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU