re: Escape from Tuscaloosa

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It's fun to watch LSU out-Saban Saban. You hate offense? Oh, we really hate offense. We hate offense more than you'll ever hate offense, Nick Saban. We hate offense so much we'll put Jordan Jefferson in at quarterback, but first let Jarrett Lee throw two picks just to give you what you want in the form of turnovers, but then take it away with good defense and suffocating your precious run game. We hate offense so much we kill both yours AND ours. That's how much we want to ironically be you, but even better. We will even out-Saban you on defense, flying to the ball, confusing you with mixed coverages, just assstomping your running backs (don't care IF they embarrassed Ole Miss whatever dude) and even getting some pressure on your precious hipster quarterback. BUT WAIT HERE'S THE FUN PART: we'll even give you freebies just to watch you frick up your own game. Trent Richardson? On some plays we won't even cover him. Nope, we'll just let him slide through untouched just to watch you miss him on open throws. Words exist for this. Cruelty? Certainly. Irony? Oh, in buckets. Boredom? Perhaps, but if you want to fight a suffocation bout for the title, well, LSU is all too happy to offer up its own neck and see who passes out first in a strangulation match, Nick Saban. Madness? Sure, but there is another word encompassing all of the above in a single compact unit of meaning: MILES.

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