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re: Advice for dealing with a loved one who is in cognitive decline?
Posted on 10/14/21 at 8:05 pm to Will Cover
Posted on 10/14/21 at 8:05 pm to Will Cover
First thing is understanding the illness (all family members) . Second and most importantly is for you ( The Caregiver ) must stay healthy and learn to have more patience than ever. It’s a hurtle in life that’s tough but rewarding in the end. I wish you well.
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Posted on 10/14/21 at 8:14 pm to Will Cover
If you possibly can, make sure you know where or if there is a Medical Power of Attorney. Likewise if a will exists and where.
We have a friend who dithered and managed to do the Med Power of Attny and personal rep before the dementia got too severe. But the will never got updated.
If the personality problems are sometimes under control, use those times to find out the financials, debts, etc. that somebody is going to need to know when the mind is further gone.
All too many of us are learning about these things that our grandparents never dealt with even living well into their 80's
We have a friend who dithered and managed to do the Med Power of Attny and personal rep before the dementia got too severe. But the will never got updated.
quote:this pretty much guarantees failing any mini mental tests given.
Dates, names, places, etc. are not often able to be recalled by this person any longer
If the personality problems are sometimes under control, use those times to find out the financials, debts, etc. that somebody is going to need to know when the mind is further gone.
All too many of us are learning about these things that our grandparents never dealt with even living well into their 80's
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 8:22 pm
Posted on 10/14/21 at 8:17 pm to Will Cover
I sorry that you and your family will be going through this/ Alzheimer’s/dementia is a shitty disease
My advice- find a community help group like the Alz Association or other related groups.
I’m not sure what state you live in but Florida has 18 Memory Disorder Clinics that are generally connected to hospitals and are great for patients and their care partners.
And finally- be mindful of your own mental/emotional/physical health - find an agency who can provide respite care
My advice- find a community help group like the Alz Association or other related groups.
I’m not sure what state you live in but Florida has 18 Memory Disorder Clinics that are generally connected to hospitals and are great for patients and their care partners.
And finally- be mindful of your own mental/emotional/physical health - find an agency who can provide respite care
Posted on 10/14/21 at 8:39 pm to CoachChappy
The daily rates in Louisiana typically go by the rate Medicaid sets for the facility, and that rate is established by the average level of care provided to the resident population. The facility isn’t asking for financials to “bleed” anyone, rather to be able to assist in the Medicaid application process. Often facilities will help families navigate the best way to protect as much of the resident’s assets as possible. Also of note, the facility gets paid the same regardless if a resident is private pay or Medicaid approved.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 8:42 pm to Will Cover
As many have already said, it is not an easy road. It’s also impossible to predict the path your loved will take in the disease process. Try your best not to argue to prove the truth. All that will do is frustrate both of you. Love on them and find the humor where you can.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 9:10 pm to SnoopyD
There is paying and there is bleeding. Medicare covered a certain amount and I was quoted to be responsible for $12,000 a month additional. Who could afford that ??
Posted on 10/14/21 at 9:28 pm to Will Cover
No real advice other than to show more patience than you possibly thought you can. He/she is always right, whether that makes sense to you or not. I’m going through this with my dad right now. My mom is his sole caregiver and I’m more concerned for her than I am him. He is not himself, but I need my mom to be OK.
This disease sucks and it progressed really fast in my dad’s case. Good luck to you.
This disease sucks and it progressed really fast in my dad’s case. Good luck to you.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 9:46 pm to tgrbaitn08
quote:
ere is another piece of advice....from what I was told...In Louisiana if they are diagnosed with Alzheimer's or Dem they can legally take away their drivers license.....If they are diagnosed in Texas they can still keep their licence, Texas has no laws against driving with dementia
Does it really matter if they have a license or not? It won’t stop them from driving if keys are available.
Good luck Will. I am reading through this in case I am faced with it.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 9:49 pm to Will Cover
Haven’t read all the replies but the best advice I can give is don’t take anything personally
You have to understand the things said by your loved one isn’t really them & do your best to not let it get to you
Good luck to you & your family, it’s a hard road I don’t wish upon anyone
You have to understand the things said by your loved one isn’t really them & do your best to not let it get to you
Good luck to you & your family, it’s a hard road I don’t wish upon anyone
Posted on 10/14/21 at 9:51 pm to 3D
Medicare-covered skilled nursing services are a different discussion. A private pay resident should always carry a coinsurance to avoid any out of pocket expense in this situation.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 9:51 pm to tgrbaitn08
quote:
Good luck..I can tell you that one of the most important things that I've been told is to never correct them when they make a mistake or when they get confused or get things mixed up...just roll with it...let them be themselves.....it's hard to do and it's frustrating but but if you make them feel any less of themselves it makes it worse for you and them....
I needed to read this tonight. Thanks for this.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 10:03 pm to supadave3
Some background: my deceased FIL was a retired NYC policeman. He never got a ticket and he kept his retired badge and police brotherhood card in his wallet and knew when to flash them.
When he started getting forgetful, we hid folded papers in his wallet that gave names of his children who could be contacted if he were lost. Similar pieces of paper in the glove box of his car.
Then his driving got bad. We saw him run a series of red lights. (His geriatric physician encouraged him to keep driving.) My husband disabled his car. Not so's you'd notice just popping the trunk. But if he called a mechanic, the mechanic, ontaking the ignition system apart, would find a note why the car was disabled and unsafe at every speed.
Then he forgot where reverse was. My husband got it running and challenged his Dad to back out of the garage. Crickets. They decided it was an unlucky car and he wouldn't drive it anymore.
We bought it from him. It had had three totally new brake jobs in nine thousand miles.
He started putting money aside to buy a clunker, but before that happened he started seeing dead people and the neighbors called the police, afraid there were dead people in the house.
Then he was hospitalized. Died, probably from Lewey Body Dementia.
Good luck, all, know you aren't alone.
When he started getting forgetful, we hid folded papers in his wallet that gave names of his children who could be contacted if he were lost. Similar pieces of paper in the glove box of his car.
Then his driving got bad. We saw him run a series of red lights. (His geriatric physician encouraged him to keep driving.) My husband disabled his car. Not so's you'd notice just popping the trunk. But if he called a mechanic, the mechanic, ontaking the ignition system apart, would find a note why the car was disabled and unsafe at every speed.
Then he forgot where reverse was. My husband got it running and challenged his Dad to back out of the garage. Crickets. They decided it was an unlucky car and he wouldn't drive it anymore.
We bought it from him. It had had three totally new brake jobs in nine thousand miles.
He started putting money aside to buy a clunker, but before that happened he started seeing dead people and the neighbors called the police, afraid there were dead people in the house.
Then he was hospitalized. Died, probably from Lewey Body Dementia.
Good luck, all, know you aren't alone.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 10:22 pm to Will Cover
I won’t sugar coat it. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It’s not easy to see a loved one retreat into their mind.
Couple of pointers. Minimize the arguing. They can’t help themselves and I guarantee they are 10x more frustrated than you are.
It’ll be tough, but sometimes you just have to let them ramble a bit and support the gibberish. It’ll help from a mood perspective. Engage their mind to the best of your ability.
The last bit will sound lame but your presence makes a difference. They’re losing their faculties. But more than not, they know and experience your love. I firmly believe it helps comfort.
Also, know when it’s time for hospice care. It’s an awful decision to make.
If you’re located in the Houston area, I can recommend a wonderful memory care facility.
God bless my man. I’m on round 2 and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
Couple of pointers. Minimize the arguing. They can’t help themselves and I guarantee they are 10x more frustrated than you are.
It’ll be tough, but sometimes you just have to let them ramble a bit and support the gibberish. It’ll help from a mood perspective. Engage their mind to the best of your ability.
The last bit will sound lame but your presence makes a difference. They’re losing their faculties. But more than not, they know and experience your love. I firmly believe it helps comfort.
Also, know when it’s time for hospice care. It’s an awful decision to make.
If you’re located in the Houston area, I can recommend a wonderful memory care facility.
God bless my man. I’m on round 2 and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
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