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re: Did your wife change after your first kid?
Posted on 2/13/21 at 12:04 pm to boosiebadazz
Posted on 2/13/21 at 12:04 pm to boosiebadazz
I changed the most after my 3rd baby. I was much older and I blame hormones. He is 16 months old and I still don’t feel like myself. It’s been tough.
1
Posted on 2/13/21 at 12:07 pm to tiger91
Re: not being OK unless you’re parenting / grand parenting...
I’ll never understand these types of people. Have you never had a hobby? Get one! Learn golf! Learn to paint! Do some home improvement shite. Take swimming lessons! Read. Learn to cook! Go to church! I can find so many ways to enjoy myself if only I had free time.
I’ll never understand these types of people. Have you never had a hobby? Get one! Learn golf! Learn to paint! Do some home improvement shite. Take swimming lessons! Read. Learn to cook! Go to church! I can find so many ways to enjoy myself if only I had free time.
This post was edited on 2/13/21 at 12:10 pm
Posted on 2/13/21 at 12:10 pm to boosiebadazz
Yea mines got fat and I’m ready to leave her.... FTK
Posted on 2/13/21 at 12:16 pm to Sandybottoms
quote:I imagine this speaks more about their marriage and that they are missing something huge emotionally. So the next best thing to watch to is parenting and you put 100% into that to have some sort of validation and happiness. Not saying that’s healthy but saying in some instances that is why they aren’t ok unless being mom/dad. Also not having friends will make you become super mom/dad.
: not being OK unless you’re parenting / grand parenting...
Posted on 2/13/21 at 12:17 pm to Upperdecker
quote:
Yea but the woman is number 2 for us too. Kids come first for everybody except shite tier parents
Based on my research and experience, this is not true. Kids are the number one relationship responsibility, but unless your #1 commitment is to your spouse/partner, there is a higher likelihood of divorce. Make time to take care of your relationship and your kids will benefit.
Posted on 2/13/21 at 1:25 pm to boosiebadazz
Not much after the first child but the second changed her drastically in some really terrible ways with no positives to offset the terrible ones.
Posted on 2/13/21 at 1:27 pm to boosiebadazz
quote:
Did your wife change after your first kid?
You mean become a dude?
Posted on 2/13/21 at 4:52 pm to Evil Little Thing
That’s how you end up with your husband cheating. Doesn’t make it right but anyone could understand it.
Posted on 2/13/21 at 4:58 pm to Evil Little Thing
quote:
With many who, like you said, are basically taking 2 years off from sex and fully believe their husbands ought to just grow up and deal with it without complaint.
That's crazy. That can cause a lot of problems, including cheating, and ultimately divorce.
Posted on 2/13/21 at 5:07 pm to boosiebadazz
We had 3 kids, they are grown now and out of the house. My wife never changed really until she hit menopause. She has always been a very sweet, compassionate, sexual creature. Menopause shut down her sex drive. 5 times a week for years turned into once a month. Was killing me. But supplementation has us back to once a week. I'll take that at my age.
Posted on 2/13/21 at 5:09 pm to Topisawtiger
quote:
5 times a week for years
Posted on 2/13/21 at 5:15 pm to tigafan4life
quote:
I changed the most after my 3rd baby. I was much older and I blame hormones. He is 16 months old and I still don’t feel like myself. It’s been tough.
I'm sorry it's been tough. But hang in there!!
Other environmental factors may not be helping either. I dont want to post a long dissertation ... but for me, after #2 and #5 there was a lot of other things going on, and it was really hard.
If I asked my husband if I changed after the kids ... he would think it's a loaded question and run out the room.
Posted on 2/13/21 at 6:04 pm to boosiebadazz
My wife is more of a mother to her grandkids than she ever was to her kids. Maybe because we had 3 boys and she felt like it was up to me to teach them fishing, hunting, baseball and shite like that.
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:33 pm to DeaconofDoom
quote:
God
Spouse
Kids
Rest of family
Country
etc...
Do you not have any friends?
Posted on 2/13/21 at 10:05 pm to Evil Little Thing
quote:
With many who, like you said, are basically taking 2 years off from sex and fully believe their husbands ought to just grow up and deal with it without complaint.
Holy shite.
I get cranky if we only have sex once a week. We have two little ones.
Posted on 2/13/21 at 10:06 pm to tigersownall
Posted on 2/14/21 at 1:47 am to X82ndTiger
She actually mellowed out a bit. We went miscarriage-1st son (NICU for 10 days)-miscarriage-2nd son (NICU for 3 weeks, 5 days being very close to ECMO.) We never got the baby in the hospital room experience. We are very protective of our kids after that shared experience. Our 1st stopped sports in 5th grade. Our 2nd starts football this fall and my wife's opinion of him playing goes back and forth. (My football days ended at 21 with a back injury and multiple surgeries that ended in total disability over 10 years ago so I do understand her concern.)
As far as sex...we were given some great insight after we got married. Her boss & boss's husband were almost like parents to us the first few years. They said get a jar...put one jelly bean in it every time we had seed in the first year. Then every time after then take one out. Almost 19 years later and aside from the whole trying to impregnate times we still would have quite a few beans left in there.
As far as sex...we were given some great insight after we got married. Her boss & boss's husband were almost like parents to us the first few years. They said get a jar...put one jelly bean in it every time we had seed in the first year. Then every time after then take one out. Almost 19 years later and aside from the whole trying to impregnate times we still would have quite a few beans left in there.
Posted on 2/14/21 at 7:15 am to boosiebadazz
Yes, spouse changed. She was more focused on the children, but so was I. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
As far as sex, not much changed. We were never much more than a 2-3x a week couple. Nowadays, I’m not 3x a week guy. We settle in now at around 2x a week. Some of you guys speak so poorly of your wives that I wonder if you’re the reason they no longer want sex with you.
Kids are wonderful, and I love the changes child birth has made in my wife. Marry the right gal and more importantly be the right guy and things will work themselves out.
As far as sex, not much changed. We were never much more than a 2-3x a week couple. Nowadays, I’m not 3x a week guy. We settle in now at around 2x a week. Some of you guys speak so poorly of your wives that I wonder if you’re the reason they no longer want sex with you.
Kids are wonderful, and I love the changes child birth has made in my wife. Marry the right gal and more importantly be the right guy and things will work themselves out.
This post was edited on 2/14/21 at 7:19 am
Posted on 2/14/21 at 7:16 am to boosiebadazz
You mean very little sex til 2nd child, then yes
Posted on 2/14/21 at 5:26 pm to KemoSabe65
You have to work on it. No one should live like this. And no I’m not advocating divorce. Do whatever it takes to find a spark. It doesn’t have to be the same spark. It can a different spark between the 2 of you. Just try to reconnect. Date each other again. Start with dinner then a weekend trip. If this doesn’t work, i suppose y’all could try therapy or a couples retreat???
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