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Relationship advice

Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:21 pm
Posted by SidewalkTiger
Midwest, USA
Member since Dec 2019
65884 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:21 pm
First of all this is likely a terrible idea to come here but hopefully someone else has been in my shoes before and can give me some good advice.

I'm 26, decent place financially, come from a very conservative and religious family, and have been dating a girl (no pics) for three years. Its a long distance relationship but we see each other at least once a month.

She's ready to move here, get married, and start a family within a couple of years.

She's pretty much everything I want in a girl and I get along great with her family and all but I really don't feel "ready" to get married and I don't know why. Spending the rest of my life with her doesnt scare me, I just don't want to "right now" and I don't know why I feel this way.

I feel bad that it just doesn't come easy for me. I should say here that I hate making commitments to anything or taking risks, I know thats immature but it is what it is. I'm also somewhat of a loner. I like being able to just pick up and go on a trip or whatever if I want to.

Should I just break up with her so she can find someone else who'd have no problem settling down? Should I just get over myself and take the plunge?

Any words of wisdom?
Posted by BobABooey
Parts Unknown
Member since Oct 2004
15863 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:23 pm to
quote:

Member since Dec 2019
2989 posts

How do you have time for a relationship???
Posted by WildcatMike
Lexington, KY
Member since Dec 2005
43612 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:23 pm to
Sack up and not come here for advice.
Posted by Wolfhound45
Member since Nov 2009
125517 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:24 pm to
This is where I parked my car.
Posted by WestCoastAg
Member since Oct 2012
149364 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:24 pm to
youve come to the right place
Posted by wfallstiger
Wichita Falls, Texas
Member since Jun 2006
14603 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:25 pm to
Does she know this? If not, tell her and see where the relationship goes from there.

If she does know I am surprised she would consider marrying you given your apathy.
Posted by wheelr
Banned
Member since Jul 2012
5841 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:25 pm to
quote:

Should I just break up with her so she can find someone else who'd have no problem settling down? Should I just get over myself and take the plunge?


Tell her you don't feel ready. She'll probably make the decision for you.

I'd also add, 26 is young and you have plenty of time to settle down.
Posted by Bustedsack
Member since Dec 2017
4387 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:25 pm to
Just suck her dad’s dick.
Posted by keakar
Member since Jan 2017
30152 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:26 pm to
if you have to ask, you need to accept that that is your answer right there
Posted by SquatchDawg
Cohutta Wilderness
Member since Sep 2012
18945 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:26 pm to
Pics?

Does she swallow?
Posted by PiscesTiger
Concrete, WA
Member since Feb 2004
53696 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:30 pm to
You dump her and you dump her fast!


You only get three great loves in your life.
Posted by TigerNutts
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2011
2701 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:30 pm to
Be honest with her and let her go. Don’t waste anymore of her time. If you realized you made a mistake, hope you have a chance to fight and get her back. It’s the only way you’ll know and also not be selfish.
Posted by SidewalkTiger
Midwest, USA
Member since Dec 2019
65884 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:31 pm to
quote:

I'd also add, 26 is young and you have plenty of time to settle down.


Half of the people in my life say, "Get married ASAP so you can spend the most of your life possible with someone you love."

The other half say, "Enjoy being single cause life will change when you get married."

Its all very confusing.
Posted by Paige
Vice President of the OT
Member since Oct 2010
85617 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:32 pm to
Let her move there. Try it out full time. If it doesn’t work, you can both get on with your lives

This isn’t rocket science
Posted by TidenUP
Coden, AL
Member since Apr 2011
14654 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:33 pm to
Just sit her down and tell her straight up that you aren't ready for what she's apparently ready for. Let the chips fall where they may, but be honest. Getting married when you aren't ready is a bad foundation to start out on.
Posted by yat70458
Member since Sep 2007
521 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:33 pm to
Stay single for the rest of your life to do anything you want whenever you want.
Posted by Cracker
in a box
Member since Nov 2009
19069 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:34 pm to
She’s a whore and cheating on you anyway the kid is not yours
Posted by John Cocktosten
Everywhere and Nowhere
Member since May 2016
418 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:35 pm to
First, you came to the right place.

Now that that’s out of the way...

You like her but you only see her for limited times. You can’t be sure if she’s the right one until you have to see her all the time. If she’s around at any moment and you still want to spend time with her, then you know.

Until then, you are just playing boyfriend-girlfriend.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
105928 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:36 pm to
quote:

She's pretty much everything I want in a girl and I get along great with her family and all but I really don't feel "ready" to get married and I don't know why. Spending the rest of my life with her doesnt scare me, I just don't want to "right now" and I don't know why I feel this way.


You feel that way because you don’t want to marry her. Tell her. Don’t be the dick that lets her relocate thinking you’re going to get married.
This post was edited on 2/29/20 at 10:38 pm
Posted by mattchewbocca
houma, la
Member since Jun 2008
6501 posts
Posted on 2/29/20 at 10:37 pm to
Make a decision and live with it
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