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My fiancee called me out for mansplaining?

Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:45 pm
Posted by mattytiger123
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Jul 2014
3022 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:45 pm
So, I've been dating her for about two years now and we got engaged about a month ago while visiting the Pacific Northwest. She's never expressed these feminist tendencies before. Basically, she was an art major in college, she's now attending PA school to be a physicians assistant. I commented on the facial structure of a boy in some obscure Central American painting, saying it greatly resembled the socialist realism found in Soviet paintings. I then began to explain what that was, just because I felt like it wasn't common knowledge and I forget that she was an art major -- we didn't know each other in college... she snapped at me and said that she knows more about socialist realism than me and, as a woman, is equally capable of understanding complex ideas. She then said that I was mansplaining a lot lately, ever since the engagement, and that I need to stop; its not okay for me to think less of her because she's a woman.

I was at a loss for words because this had never come up before. I just apologized for making her feel like I don't respect her and told her to let me know when she senses I'm being condescending. I didn't leave it at that, I told her that I don't think that calling me a "mansplainer" is fair because I tend to elaborate and explain my thoughts, regardless of who I'm talking to. She then began to cry and said "you don't know what its like to be a woman and have everyone disrespect you and talk down to you." I began to tense up, but inevitably affirmed her.

Did I handle this right? Should I be concerned about our future or talk about this more? I feel bothered, but think its not worth it.

Thoughts?
Posted by 21JumpStreet
Member since Jul 2012
14659 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:46 pm to
Run.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48913 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:47 pm to
quote:

Thoughts?

Run. You're still a young man Matty.
Posted by KirkLazarus
Member since Aug 2017
3574 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:47 pm to
Yeah thats a no from me dawg

This post was edited on 12/5/19 at 10:23 pm
Posted by WJF004
Monroe
Member since Oct 2015
141 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:47 pm to
Get out while you still can!
Posted by JPinLondon
not in London (currently NW Ohio)
Member since Nov 2006
7855 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:47 pm to
Next.
Posted by Saint Alfonzo
Member since Jan 2019
22336 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:47 pm to
Run away now. She will always be a victim and it will always be your fault.
This post was edited on 12/5/19 at 5:49 pm
Posted by Quintona
Member since Mar 2019
739 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:47 pm to
Get out early, it'll only get worse (and more expensive) if you don't.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81259 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:48 pm to
She used a word that most people roll their eyes at, so that sucks..

But maybe if she is otherwise a reasonable and sane woman, you should reflect on whether you as a person are condescending to others without realizing it.
Posted by Harry Morgan
Member since Sep 2019
9193 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:48 pm to
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
64906 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:48 pm to
Yeah, time to send her on down the line.
Posted by Packer
IE, California
Member since May 2017
7841 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:48 pm to
quote:

Run.



Fast and far away
Posted by facher08
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
4440 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:48 pm to
quote:

Basically, she was an art major in college,


quote:

she's now attending PA school to be a physicians assistant.


Checks out
Posted by conservativewifeymom
Mid Atlantic
Member since Oct 2012
12043 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:48 pm to
As a happily married (21 years) woman, I say you should be concerned at the sudden changes in behavior since the engagement. She would not be the first woman who, once she has that ring on her finger, shows her true colors. You dated long enough for things to have come out before, so the new aspect of her personality is worrisome and not a good way to start a marriage.

I wish you the best, but be careful!
Posted by IceTiger
Really hot place
Member since Oct 2007
26584 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:49 pm to
R-u-n-n-o-f-t...
Posted by Athos
Member since Sep 2016
11878 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:49 pm to
Not reading that wall.
Posted by Hogbit
Benton, AR
Member since Aug 2019
1441 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:49 pm to
Nice troll
Posted by IceTiger
Really hot place
Member since Oct 2007
26584 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:50 pm to
quote:

LouisianaLady


Too nice
Posted by DevilDogTiger
RTWFY!
Member since Nov 2007
6368 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:50 pm to
Run! Do not walk. Run mother fricker run!

quote:

I just apologized for making her feel like I don't respect her

I bet she has already put the strap on
This post was edited on 12/5/19 at 5:55 pm
Posted by Woobie
Member since Jan 2017
2822 posts
Posted on 12/5/19 at 5:50 pm to
quote:

Did I handle this right?


no

quote:

Should I be concerned about our future


yes

quote:

Thoughts?


youre screwed baw
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