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re: Is divorce now a group decision?
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:01 pm to LSUFanHouston
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:01 pm to LSUFanHouston
My wife and I, both in our mid-30's, have fewer and fewer close friends that shape our lives and whose opinions we value. We both have a friend or two that make constant bad decisions. Both of us make it a point to disregard any advise they may give.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:13 pm to LSUFanHouston
Worst part of it all is the kids and husband will feel all the ill effects. Depending on which state it is in, it could really hurt the man financially.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:15 pm to Tdot_RiverDawg
quote:
Depending on which state it is in, it could really hurt the man financially.
Just the states that start with a letter from A to Z.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:20 pm to Black n Gold
quote:
My wife and I, both in our mid-30's, have fewer and fewer close friends that shape our lives and whose opinions we value. We both have a friend or two that make constant bad decisions. Both of us make it a point to disregard any advise they may give.
Exact same situation. Its easy when you have a rough patch to be jealous of those with "freedom", but once things calm down, you realize that alot of those people, particularly the women, are legit miserable and depressed and would gladly trade places with you if given the opportunity. My wife has several single and divorced friends and its pretty sad and pathetic when you step back and look at the big picture.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:24 pm to LSUFanHouston
If you are blindsided by your spouse wanting a divorce, I would say the divorce is likely warranted as it is likely there were multiple signs there that there was trouble.
Saw it happen to a friend. He worked long hours, but when he wasn't at work he was at the golf course, on the lake fishing, or in the woods hunting. He had little involvement in his kids' lives. Wife was patient and tried to get him to be more involved, and give a little help at home. He ignored her, or didn't take her concerns seriously. She filed for divorce and he acted like he had no idea. I tried to clue him in, but he was in complete denial. The first time he spent an evening with his kids by himself was after the divorce.
Saw it happen to a friend. He worked long hours, but when he wasn't at work he was at the golf course, on the lake fishing, or in the woods hunting. He had little involvement in his kids' lives. Wife was patient and tried to get him to be more involved, and give a little help at home. He ignored her, or didn't take her concerns seriously. She filed for divorce and he acted like he had no idea. I tried to clue him in, but he was in complete denial. The first time he spent an evening with his kids by himself was after the divorce.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:25 pm to ZappBrannigan
quote:
Now decides she doesnt want to be married but is going after half of his pension and retirement accounts that he accrued at a job held for 20 yrs and left way before he met her.
Might be different depending on the type of retirement. Those are probably out of bounds if Sims Formula applies.
Pension and 401K from Kraft Foods, where he worked for 20+ yrs prior to meeting his soon-to-be-ex. I'm guessing 401K is in the hundreds of thousands.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:34 pm to LSUFanHouston
I have had bad experiences when women get together and start their talking. No matter what it is always the man's fault. I have found out more about my relationships from GF friends. Women are always the victim.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:35 pm to The Spleen
quote:
If you are blindsided by your spouse wanting a divorce, I would say the divorce is likely warranted as it is likely there were multiple signs there that there was trouble.
I would agree with this. Never been married but have been in relationships where I wasn't happy and was surprised to learn the other person wasn't aware there were issues pulling us apart, despite that fact I tried to address them and work on them. With one ex I even told her things were not going to work out unless issues with her kids and ex were addressed. To this day she doesn't understand why I got out and it ended way back in 2010.
This post was edited on 3/11/19 at 3:36 pm
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:48 pm to The Spleen
quote:
If you are blindsided by your spouse wanting a divorce, I would say the divorce is likely warranted as it is likely there were multiple signs there that there was trouble.
People now are much more savvy and shrewd when it comes to divorce. Mostly because everyone knows a person or two that has gone through a divorce, and they seek out their advice. They'll hold out for a while, acting like things are on the up-and-up, all while getting their affairs in order. When the time is right, they will serve their spouse with divorce papers, who is like "WTF?"
This post was edited on 3/11/19 at 3:49 pm
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:53 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
d, they will enjoy the slaying that will be coming. But that time is not here ye
This. I lost 25 pounds and couldn't sleep for a long time. Then, I woke up one day and figured I may as well start making up for lost time.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:55 pm to geauxbrown
quote:I lost about the same weight but I pretty much started going wild right away. I'm not encouraging it but I sure did have fun for a little while. It actually got old pretty quick.
This. I lost 25 pounds and couldn't sleep for a long time. Then, I woke up one day and figured I may as well start making up for lost time.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 3:57 pm to Black n Gold
Absolutely. I think there are many cases where the spouse truly is blindsided. It's rare though that someone just wakes up one morning, decides they no longer want to be married, and spring it on their spouse. In most cases it's a gradual deterioration of the relationship, and there are signs there that it is deteriorating. If you're truly invested in the relationship and your spouse, you recognize those signs.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 4:12 pm to danilo
quote:
Think i’ll Stay single
Find a good woman with real values. They exist. Be someone deserving of that type of woman. A good marriage is an awesome thing.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 4:13 pm to LSUFanHouston
I have noticed it happens in groups. They start talking and then all want a change.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 4:17 pm to terriblegreen
quote:and find out that it isn't all it's cracked up to be. They usually had it better before.
I have noticed it happens in groups. They start talking and then all want a change.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 4:21 pm to Black n Gold
quote:
People now are much more savvy and shrewd when it comes to divorce
I knew a guy who waited till after his 3rd daughter was born barely home from hospital to decide to leave his wife and shack up with a 20 something coworker. He went and bought a new Mercedes on his own with their joint credit card in his name and other shite then moved a bunch of money into a different account and then tolder he was gonna file for divorce. Definition of POS. I was done with him after I heard that.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 4:23 pm to Black n Gold
quote:
My wife and I, both in our mid-30's, have fewer and fewer close friends that shape our lives and whose opinions we value. We both have a friend or two that make constant bad decisions. Both of us make it a point to disregard any advise they may give.
Same here.
We both have a few friends that are the bad decision makers of the bunch, and we just shake our heads and offer council when asked. My wife was always the momma bear of her group who everyone went to for support, and I was lucky to get a good one with a solid head on her shoulders.
Marriage isn't about vacations and having fun all of the time and never having issues. It's about enjoying time together, working through problems, and communicating. You're always working on it.
It can definitely be an awesome experience but it's not a fairytale and it's not for everyone. If you have the patience or emotional maturity of a child, or if you're always just thinking about what's best for you, it's not for you.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 4:27 pm to Feral
quote:Well said!
Marriage isn't about vacations and having fun all of the time and never having issues. It's about enjoying time together, working through problems, and communicating. You're always working on it. It can definitely be an awesome experience but it's not a fairytale and it's not for everyone. If you have the patience or emotional maturity of a child, or if you're always just thinking about what's best for you, it's not for you.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 4:39 pm to Feral
+2 Feral.
It's not always easy, but when you come out of some of the tough times to better times, it makes those good times that much sweeter.
It's not always easy, but when you come out of some of the tough times to better times, it makes those good times that much sweeter.
Posted on 3/11/19 at 4:49 pm to Raleigh Tiger
quote:
Had a couple of buddies this happened to. Divorced friends of the wives were constantly in their ear telling them how much better off they would be without their husbands. Buddies were shocked and devastated when it happened. Fast forward a bit and now ex wives are miserable and regret it while the guys are living free, plenty of women, and no wife pissing away their hard earned money.
Women just want other women to be miserable like they are.
I'm pretty sure a couple of my ex-wives coworkers had done this. Since then I've had a healthy dating life while she's been alone and bitter.
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