re: Question about relationships, economic advantage of one party, and chores

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OK here is the scenario. You have a couple with an even split of household chores (just a general concept, the individual chores are irrelevant but the labor split is 50/50). One party wants to engage in a second job and use the income from that job to pay the help to hire someone to do his/her chores, and the couple will still receive excess income above the cost of this help. The other member of the couple is not capable of earning this income (let's assume he/she has restrictions on their job so they can't receive 2nd income).

Is this fair?

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I guess it's "fair", but relationships aren't about "fair". This would bring up issues, IMO. It's a slippery slope, are we assuming that both parties make an equal salary in their current jobs? If not, that brings up another issue. If chores are split 50/50, and 50% of the chores are being done by someone else, there is still half of the chores remaining and that should be split between the two parties.

Need me to come clean your house?

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Is this fair?

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Fairness shouldn't enter into the equation. "Equitability"- maybe.

So, the 2 are working 3 jobs and someone is paid to do the cleaning for them. I think that gives the person working the 3rd job some privileges and rights (equitability), but particularly the "fairness" side, leave that at the door if you're just volunteering to do it (which is presumed).

If my gf wanted me to do chores I’d dump her

If you are married and the income increases, it increases for both of you. If the chores decrease, they decrease for both of you. Over time things balance out in ways you likely can’t imagine. One day she may be spoon feeding your bed ridden father while you are stuck at the office. Those are the moments throw what’s “fair” out the window. Over time it balances. Bickering over the small, immediate problems and being “right” is a flawed long term strategy.