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Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
Posted on 2/19/18 at 7:45 am
Posted on 2/19/18 at 7:45 am
HEY STEVEN GET OFF YOUR CABOOSE AND BACK ON TRACK!
A guy with a stutter died in prison before he could finish his sentence.
This post was edited on 2/19/18 at 7:47 am
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:04 am to theunknownknight
A lot of stand up comedians have stopped performing because of the PC Climate and offending somebody
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:06 am to theunknownknight
I liked him as “the guy on the couch” in Half Baked
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:11 am to theunknownknight
"There is no gravity. the Earth sucks."
"It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it."
"It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it."
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:14 am to theunknownknight
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:15 am to theunknownknight
what's the speed of dark
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:17 am to theunknownknight
"Every where is walking distance if you have the time."
One of my favorites things of his is his DJ voice overs sprinkled throughout Reservoir Dogs.
One of my favorites things of his is his DJ voice overs sprinkled throughout Reservoir Dogs.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:18 am to theunknownknight
No, the capital of Canada is Ottawa.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:19 am to theunknownknight
When I was a baby, I kept a diary.
Recently, I was rereading it.
It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move.
Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot."
Recently, I was rereading it.
It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move.
Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot."
This post was edited on 2/19/18 at 8:20 am
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:20 am to TulaneFan
Scarface: "Hey, The Guy, did you kill my dog?
The Guy: *sleepily waves hand*
Scarface: "Yo, I believe him B"
The Guy: *sleepily waves hand*
Scarface: "Yo, I believe him B"
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:20 am to soccerfüt
Can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:29 am to theunknownknight
quote:Definitely on board with this.
Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:31 am to theunknownknight
His timing was always so good.
"When I was a little kid we had a sand box.
It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child...
(pause...)
Eventually."
"When I was a little kid we had a sand box.
It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child...
(pause...)
Eventually."
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:31 am to theunknownknight
What happens if you are traveling at the speed of light and you turn the lights on?
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:41 am to theunknownknight
“Went to the store and bought some powdered water....didn’t know what to add”
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:01 am to theunknownknight
I have always thought of him as the Gary Larson (Far Side) of stand up comedians.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:07 am to theunknownknight
I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight...
....the people who live above me are furious.
....the people who live above me are furious.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:08 am to udtiger
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:15 am to theunknownknight
I bought some batteries, they weren't included...so I had to buy them again...
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:17 am to theunknownknight
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright
Steven Wright
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