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Message
1
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:26 am to arktiger28
What's going to be great is when your 55 and you've had all these great life experiences and you get to keep spending all the holidays alone with your wife, until she passes away and then you get to spend them alone by yourself and you've got no support system when your wife dies at 61 and you get diagnosed with cancer, and you have to go through Chemo alone.
Sounds like you're on a winning track sure wish I didn't have kids.
Sounds like you're on a winning track sure wish I didn't have kids.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:26 am to Pecker
All of your points are true. They are more work than you can even imagine. I would do it all over again. My daughter is a mini me. My oldest son is my best bud. And my baby seems like he is going to be a ladies man. Having kids, and being apart of their life is the apex human experience. Not sure if you can fill the void, and not have a major regret when you get older.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:27 am to JB Bama
quote:
What's going to be great is when your 55 and you've had all these great life experiences and you get to keep spending all the holidays alone with your wife, until she passes away and then you get to spend them alone by yourself and you've got no support system when your wife dies at 61 and you get diagnosed with cancer, and you have to go through Chemo alone. Sounds like you're on a winning track sure wish I didn't have kids.
I see what you're getting at, but this is a worst case scenario... it doesn't always work out like this
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:27 am to Pecker
quote:
Is it selfish to think that I'd rather do a lot of things in my life that I know a lot of other people wish they could do but couldn't because of their kids?
No. It is only selfish if your partner wants kids and you don't.
If you both don't want kids because you would rather do whatever you think would bring you more joy, then so be it
But chances are, there will be a point in your life where you or your future wife will regret not having kids
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:28 am to Pecker
Having kids is great, and they provide so much more than they consume.
My career has never suffered (in fact my business has grown significantly and I work less and earn more. My wife went back to school and started a new career, and the kids didn't effect that. We did everything we wanted to do regardless of the kids. The kids just did those things with us. We also did a lot of stuff we never imagined we would do because of the kids, and we enjoyed the hell out of those things. Seriously, Legoland is the best, and you need kids to get in.
Being a single parent has been tougher as my kids still need their mom, and I can't provide the emotional stuff the way she did. Also coaching them through her illness and death was the hardest thing imaginable. I don't wish that I didn't have kids though. I just wish my kids still had a mom.
My career has never suffered (in fact my business has grown significantly and I work less and earn more. My wife went back to school and started a new career, and the kids didn't effect that. We did everything we wanted to do regardless of the kids. The kids just did those things with us. We also did a lot of stuff we never imagined we would do because of the kids, and we enjoyed the hell out of those things. Seriously, Legoland is the best, and you need kids to get in.
Being a single parent has been tougher as my kids still need their mom, and I can't provide the emotional stuff the way she did. Also coaching them through her illness and death was the hardest thing imaginable. I don't wish that I didn't have kids though. I just wish my kids still had a mom.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 9:32 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:29 am to Salmon
quote:
and for all the travel/experience life comments from people that don't have kids yet
no vacation has ever brought me as much joy as my daughter
and experiencing life with a child, witnessing that sheer joy and innocence, is more joyful than anything you and your partner could do
Maybe, but I don't know how much joy I would receive from that. I know how much joy I experienced hiking and skiing through the Swiss Alps. And how much joy I experienced going to Bora Bora and hanging out in Dubai for a week. And I did those things with someone I love and am going to marry. We enjoyed those things together. Those are things that would be lost in our relationship if we had kids.
I can't compare those experiences with my fiance/wife to experiences with a child that doesn't exist.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 9:30 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:30 am to Pecker
quote:
We enjoyed those things together. Those are things that would be lost in our relationship if we had kids.
Why?
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:31 am to Pecker
quote:
What if your kid is a shitbag?
Part of that is on you and the time you put in with them. Even in my kids shittiest moments the day to day joy they bring me over shadows that 10 fold.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:31 am to Pecker
We just had one, he's now ten...I can't really think of anything we've given up, and jobs have honestly stood in the way of life more than him. He's a beautiful little mix of both of us and his bright future is something we look forward to. I have regrets in life, but my boy is wry damn far from one. He brings out kindnes and patience in my wife that makes me more attracted to her...so, NEVER for a even a second.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:31 am to tke857
quote:
Then it is most likely your fault that he/she is that way
Not even remotely true. There are kids everywhere that had good parents and the kids were born with psychological disorders.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:33 am to Pecker
My kids are the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. If not for them, I'd be a raging alcoholic womanizer.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:33 am to Salmon
quote:
Why?
It's probably not the best option as a parent to up and leave your kid for two weeks because you want to go skiing in Austria. And then tell them to get used to it because you're already planning another trip to somewhere else.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:33 am to Pecker
quote:
hiking and skiing through the Swiss Alps. And how much joy I experienced going to Bora Bora and hanging out in Dubai for a week
Do you think only people without kids do that?
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:34 am to Pecker
quote:
There are kids everywhere that had good parents and the kids were born with psychological disorders.
and everyone that feared they would have an unhealthy kid didn't have children, no one would have children
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:34 am to Pecker
Even though I wish I never had to see their mother again, I have never wished I didn't have my boys. Even though girls don't want to give me a chance because I'm already a father, I have never wished I didn't have my boys. Even though they are expensive af, I have never wished I didn't have my boys. They're my life, and I'm ok with that.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:35 am to Pecker
quote:
It's probably not the best option as a parent to up and leave your kid for two weeks because you want to go skiing in Austria.
bring them?
some parents choose to spend money on their kids by getting them involved in every little activity in town
you could choose to spend your money on them by traveling with them
people do it all the time
My best friend just spent 3 weeks in Thailand with his 2 and 5 year old
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 9:37 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:35 am to JB Bama
quote:
What's going to be great is when your 55 and you've had all these great life experiences and you get to keep spending all the holidays alone with your wife, until she passes away and then you get to spend them alone by yourself and you've got no support system when your wife dies at 61 and you get diagnosed with cancer, and you have to go through Chemo alone. Sounds like you're on a winning track sure wish I didn't have kids.
So sickness and the prospect of loneliness is the reason to have kids? To have someone to take care of you?
Sounds selfish.
I have a big family and so does my fiance. We are surrounded by family and have plenty of cousins, nephews and nieces that we spend time with.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:36 am to JJ27
quote:
28K just for school cheer/dance, not counting actual lessons.
thats a slightly used gator traxx
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:36 am to OysterPoBoy
No but he probably thinks it makes it a little more difficult- and he's right
shite, my son is almost three, we have a great support team with our families, but even when we do get a sitter and do things for ourselves I feel kind of guilty for not being with him.. I can't tell you how many times Mrs. Hangover and I have been out somewheres and we start talking about our son which leads to either a FaceTime call to the grandparents or we just go get him and go back to the house
shite, I'm at work now and this thread has me watching videos and looking at pictures of him on my phone lol
shite, my son is almost three, we have a great support team with our families, but even when we do get a sitter and do things for ourselves I feel kind of guilty for not being with him.. I can't tell you how many times Mrs. Hangover and I have been out somewheres and we start talking about our son which leads to either a FaceTime call to the grandparents or we just go get him and go back to the house
shite, I'm at work now and this thread has me watching videos and looking at pictures of him on my phone lol
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