Need some advice--relationship related

I'm going to try to keep this as short as I can. I've been in a relationship with a girl for a year and a half..Weve had our ups and downs, some pretty brutal fights and things I probably should have left over. She would never trust me, always be nagging etc etc so it almost started to feel like I was an old man who always wanted to be fishing and away from his wife. Long story short I am away from home now but the past several months things have changed--she really is changing and the insecurities have given way to a trusting attitude and love that has been consistent and pretty amazing. However, I am worried that the old attitude will slowly creep back in and I wont be able to take it anymore when I get back.


Here comes the big problem. I've had these dreams every couple of months. It's been of one girl I dated for a few months in college that I was absolutely head over heels for. This was four years ago that we dated and i'm still having these dreams consistently. I was in a dark place when we dated with some alcohol problems and she broke up with me, seeing as I was a mess. But on to the dreams..they are nothing sexual..simply me pleading to her that I have changed and that I am having these dreams of wanting to see her. In those dreams it just feels "right" just having the chance to talk to her. A calm like ive never felt. I don't know if this girl would ever even talk to me again and I feel like a shithead for even considering her when i'm in a relationship with a girl I love now and knowing how much it would destroy her.

And strangely enough I'm moving back to the same state I met her in for a job in the next month. I don't know what to think at this point..Anyone else have similar experiences as this? I know..I'm a mess