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Your best/worst roommate story
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:02 pm
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:02 pm
My freshman year at Ole Miss I had a roommate who was handicapped. His arms and legs were frozen into a fixed position, because his joints did not move properly. He was affectionately known as the bird man because his arms and legs made him look awkward as he walked and it looked like his arms were flapping as he walked.
He was a habitual alcoholic. One time he could not get into his orange juice to mix for this vodka and he just simply bit the metal top off. He used to brag about how much weight he could lift with just his mouth because his arms were no use picking up things.
One night I woke up in the middle of the night and he was not in his bed. I went to look for him and he was passed out on the toilet. Much to my surprise he was actually on the commode with his pants pulled out his knees and he was hung like a mule. I asked God how could he have what he had because it was of no use with him? God has yet to answer me on this matter.
He was a habitual alcoholic. One time he could not get into his orange juice to mix for this vodka and he just simply bit the metal top off. He used to brag about how much weight he could lift with just his mouth because his arms were no use picking up things.
One night I woke up in the middle of the night and he was not in his bed. I went to look for him and he was passed out on the toilet. Much to my surprise he was actually on the commode with his pants pulled out his knees and he was hung like a mule. I asked God how could he have what he had because it was of no use with him? God has yet to answer me on this matter.
42
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:04 pm to rebeloke
I'm glad we were roommates that year.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:04 pm to rebeloke
Go figure.. an ole Miss person marveling over another man's dick.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:04 pm to rebeloke
Congratulations on Ole Miss, handicapped roommates, prayer and penis?
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:04 pm to rebeloke
My freshman roommate was a Jesuit grad 
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:07 pm to rebeloke
My current roommate is a Lebron frickboy.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:08 pm to rebeloke
It's always the oddest people that are well hung
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:11 pm to rebeloke
Dear Diary...
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:16 pm to rebeloke
You touched his dick didnt you?
Posted on 6/21/15 at 3:16 pm to rebeloke
Best? I decided to do random roommate my first year at auburn. Kid is really quiet first 2 weeks or so. He'd barely talk when I tried and wouldn't go out at all. Finally get him to open up and turns out his grandad started orkin pest control, owns Dover racetrack, Rollins security, ritz Carlton in Jamaica, 3 private jets, boating company, and a couple smaller companies. Kid was fricking LOADED. Never flaunted it, would have never known but he pretty much supplied us with beer, bar tabs and pot for all of college. Still a great friend and I feel extremely lucky to know him.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 4:18 pm to rebeloke
Freshman roommate or his friends stole my textbooks and sold them back to the bookstore. But I had stopped going to class at that point and wasn't sure when it happened so I couldn't do anything about it.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 4:34 pm to rebeloke
I was living with my girlfriend and her female best friend moved in. The girlfriend and I broke up so started banging her best friend.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 4:59 pm to rebeloke
You went to college?
Posted on 6/21/15 at 5:11 pm to rebeloke
Please tell me his nickname was Hoppy.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 5:16 pm to rebeloke
3rd year at LSU I lived with a guy that I met through club sports. We all figured he was quite an exaggerator because all his stories were larger than life but he had this one story about why he didn't drink until he turned 21 about him being in horrific car accident and that he flat lined 3 times at the hospital - something everyone believed because the level of detail he went into.
Total bullshite, he got called out and humiliated in front of about a dozen friends.
My first experience with a compulsive liar.
Total bullshite, he got called out and humiliated in front of about a dozen friends.
My first experience with a compulsive liar.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 5:29 pm to rebeloke
My worst was when I was staying with a few people in Lakeview. About 5 of us were renting out this two story house and I was invited by one of my friends to stay because they needed another. It was awesome at first, but we had this gay couple that was staying with us. Again, everything was cool at first, but something was off with them.
They were very dramatic and almost looked for something to fight about. The friend who invited me to stay had diabetes and well she had to get some juice, so she drank some orange juice in the fridge. You'd have thought she killed their families with how they reacted. I had to go buy them new juice just to get them to shut up.
The straw that broke the back for me was one night when they were fighting bad and broke up. I hear this scream from outside, go out there and one of them is pacing back and forth on the lawn with a kitchen knife. We thankfully calmed him down enough to throw the knife to the dirt where I ran and scooped it up. He then left, I went inside, packed my shite and took off.
They were very dramatic and almost looked for something to fight about. The friend who invited me to stay had diabetes and well she had to get some juice, so she drank some orange juice in the fridge. You'd have thought she killed their families with how they reacted. I had to go buy them new juice just to get them to shut up.
The straw that broke the back for me was one night when they were fighting bad and broke up. I hear this scream from outside, go out there and one of them is pacing back and forth on the lawn with a kitchen knife. We thankfully calmed him down enough to throw the knife to the dirt where I ran and scooped it up. He then left, I went inside, packed my shite and took off.
This post was edited on 6/21/15 at 5:30 pm
Posted on 6/21/15 at 6:11 pm to rebeloke
I entered my dormroom and met my assigned dorm-mate for the first when he asked me to hold the belt around his arm while he shot up a crushed hit of microdot. 
I moved to my 1st apt the next day.
I moved to my 1st apt the next day.Posted on 6/21/15 at 8:11 pm to rebeloke
Freshman year at LSU.
Asian roommate in the pentagon.
Me sleeping.
Rub your hands together or against your pants
This is the noise that wakes me up.
I rollover
Asian roommate at desk
Pants around ankles.
Headphones on watching asian porn (shocker)
Didn't know what to do so turned back over.
Heard him moan and finish.
He doesn't go wash hands.
I never bring it up but never shakes hands with him
The end
Asian roommate in the pentagon.
Me sleeping.
Rub your hands together or against your pants
This is the noise that wakes me up.
I rollover
Asian roommate at desk
Pants around ankles.
Headphones on watching asian porn (shocker)
Didn't know what to do so turned back over.
Heard him moan and finish.
He doesn't go wash hands.
I never bring it up but never shakes hands with him
The end
Posted on 6/21/15 at 8:23 pm to rebeloke
First roommate at LSU was the son of parents who worked in Saudi Arabia. Kid went to high school in Italy. Had basically turned into Euro-trash. Didn't bath, woke up in the morning & put the clothes he left on the floor from the night before.
Our next door neighbors were out-of-state guys on the gymnastics team. One of them got homesick and quit school in the second week. I just moved in next door. Literally a great move.
Our next door neighbors were out-of-state guys on the gymnastics team. One of them got homesick and quit school in the second week. I just moved in next door. Literally a great move.
Posted on 6/21/15 at 8:31 pm to rebeloke
I think I have mentioned this guy on the OT before, but his weirdness warrants a re-hash.
He was a fill-in roomate one summer while the regular roomate went to Europe.
he would make this huge production about his runs (the athletic, not poopy kind). He would stand out in the front yard bare chested as he went through his elaborate stretching routine, complete with sounds. He would peel out at breakneck speed run about 10 minutes come back and commence an even louder post-run stretch. Then he would hose himself down and spend the rest of the day in wet umbros. Gag.
He would always use someone else's account at Blockbuster to rent movies, and not return them on time. I had to pay $70 to replace Stroker Ace in 1991. Imagine the humiliation of having people think you rented Stroker Ace.
And finally, he would never return plates or utensils to the kitchen. He was out of town one weekend so we went into his room to recover said utensils and we found a.........machete under his bed.
And that is why I didn't press him for the Stroker Aace replacement money...
He was a fill-in roomate one summer while the regular roomate went to Europe.
he would make this huge production about his runs (the athletic, not poopy kind). He would stand out in the front yard bare chested as he went through his elaborate stretching routine, complete with sounds. He would peel out at breakneck speed run about 10 minutes come back and commence an even louder post-run stretch. Then he would hose himself down and spend the rest of the day in wet umbros. Gag.
He would always use someone else's account at Blockbuster to rent movies, and not return them on time. I had to pay $70 to replace Stroker Ace in 1991. Imagine the humiliation of having people think you rented Stroker Ace.
And finally, he would never return plates or utensils to the kitchen. He was out of town one weekend so we went into his room to recover said utensils and we found a.........machete under his bed.
And that is why I didn't press him for the Stroker Aace replacement money...
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