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How to break free from monogamy without destroying marriage
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:19 pm
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:19 pm
“What is new is that women are now also being more adulterous — and so people are beginning to be more open about it.”
LINK
LINK
quote:
Before online dating, before her two kids, before the Big Conversation with her skeptical husband, Jessie already had an inkling that maybe she wasn’t quite like the ladies she saw at church, that maybe the sexual strictures of life in D.C.’s monied suburbs weren’t for her.
Her first marriage, in her early 20s, had ended after an affair. (Hers.) Her second marriage, started shortly thereafter, was “happy — very happy,” but as her boys grew up and moved out and moved on, she was left faintly bored.
She thought about cheating on her husband of 20 years. She considered bars, parties, a review of the lapses in her mid-20s.
Instead, she sat her husband down and told him something that more and more progressive couples are beginning to realize. They loved each other and wanted to stay together — but in the age of Tinder and Ashley Madison and OkCupid, they also both wanted to have other options. Options they knew were just a click away.
“Interesting, introspective, happily married D.C. professional,” reads Jessie’s profile on the new non-monogamous dating site Open Minded. “I’m into building deep and loving relationships that add to the joy and aliveness of being human.”
Open Minded isn’t quite like Ashley Madison, the unapologetic dating-for-cheaters service that expects a billion-dollar valuation when it launches its impending IPO. It also isn’t quite like mobile hook-up app Tinder, where — according to one recent report — as many as 40 percent of “singles” are secretly .?.?. not.
Instead, says Brandon Wade, the site’s pragmatic, MIT-educated founder, Open Minded is a new kind of dating site for a newly mainstream lifestyle: one in which couples form very real attachments, just not exclusively with each other. He expects swingers, polysexuals and experimental 20-somethings to use his site. But he guesses that most of his 70,000 users are people like Jessie: Those in committed, conventional relationships, who realize that, statistically speaking, few modern couples stay with a single person their whole lives.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:20 pm to RedRifle
this thread is going to go real well
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:21 pm to RedRifle
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/27/15 at 3:22 pm
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:21 pm to RedRifle
until she brings home an std or a baby of a different color etc etc
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:21 pm to RedRifle
Whores will rationalize being whores no matter what.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:22 pm to Commandeaux
quote:
quote:Jessie beta
This.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:22 pm to RedRifle
it comes across being more committed by breaking free first... or at least openly breaking free.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:22 pm to RedRifle
I dont care how they want to justify it. Either you love someone and are committed to them, or youre not. Either you have integrity and honor, or you dont.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:22 pm to RedRifle
quote:
Open Minded isn’t quite like Ashley Madison, the unapologetic dating-for-cheaters service that expects a billion-dollar valuation when it launches its impending IPO.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:22 pm to RedRifle
quote:
progressive couples
El Oh El.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:23 pm to RedRifle
The idea of sitting my wife down and telling her we “should stay together but sometimes sleep with other people” cracks me up. She wouldn’t think I was serious, then when she realized I was serious I’d probably get stabbed in the eye then divorced.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:23 pm to RedRifle
A hooker is a hooker
This post was edited on 5/27/15 at 3:24 pm
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:24 pm to RedRifle
quote:=
“I’m into building deep and loving relationships that add to the joy and aliveness of being human.”
"I'm into dick. LOTS of dick."
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:27 pm to dnm3305
quote:
I dont care how they want to justify it. Either you love someone and are committed to them, or youre not. Either you have integrity and honor, or you dont.
I actually completely disagree. You can love someone unconditionally and get drunk and sleep with someone else. Then wake up and hate yourself for it. People are weak to their innate urges, some weaker than others. What if you're trashed on a work trip and an OT 10 is begging you for your dick?
I wouldn't ever do it, but I don't think that means you love the other person less. It just means you lack self-control.
I also think if we were raised to be accepting of sleeping around, we wouldn’t think twice about it. In your eyes its bad and impossible to love someone and be committed to them and still sleep around, but your eyes aren’t everyone’s eyes.
The issue is these websites are filled with people getting their rocks off behind their significant other's back and not being open with each other.
ETA:
And no, I was raised to be monogamous and I could never accept my wife sleeping with another dude. frick. That. But I am not everyone.
This post was edited on 5/27/15 at 3:34 pm
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:27 pm to dagrippa
This post was edited on 5/27/15 at 3:29 pm
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:28 pm to dagrippa
quote:Ain't nothing wrong with curly hair bruh...
until she brings home an std or a baby of a different color etc etc
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:33 pm to RedRifle
whores gonna whore, gender is irrelevant.
Don't marry a whore and you won't have to deal with this type of shite.
I'm not staying married to some count that wants to frick other dudes. End of discussion. Therefore, there is , for me, no way to break free of monogamy w/o destroying marriage. Its like trying to go to heaven without dying.
Don't marry a whore and you won't have to deal with this type of shite.
I'm not staying married to some count that wants to frick other dudes. End of discussion. Therefore, there is , for me, no way to break free of monogamy w/o destroying marriage. Its like trying to go to heaven without dying.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:35 pm to tigerinthebueche
quote:
Therefore, there is , for me, no way to break free of monogamy w/o destroying marriage.
Right.
But if you were cool with it and she was cool with it and you both agreed you love each other unconditionally regardless of partner, it becomes a different story.
There can't be many people like that out there though
I certainly couldn't handle another dude putting hands on my wife.
Posted on 5/27/15 at 3:42 pm to TheCaterpillar
quote:
You can love someone unconditionally and get drunk and sleep with someone else. Then wake up and hate yourself for it. People are weak to their innate urges, some weaker than others. What if you're trashed on a work trip and an OT 10 is begging you for your dick?
no offense, but what a load of immature rationalizing shite.
quote:
I also think if we were raised to be accepting of sleeping around, we wouldn’t think twice about it.
more of the same
quote:
And no, I was raised to be monogamous and I could never accept my wife sleeping with another dude. frick. That. But I am not everyone.
completely contradicting yourself.
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