Teach me about golf, please.

Homo

It's the only game in the world that you can be perfect...yet still only average.

You need ciggs and cocaine to get started.

You just getting started? - go to Academy and get everything you need for cheap

You'll need irons 3-PW
A driver
Driver cover
A putter
A bag
Balls
Tees
Shoes
Glove

Hope you take it seriously and aren't just trying to show your buddy up, because golf is an expensive hobby (to get started)


*As far as clubs Academy has Nike, Cobra, Taylormade, Calloway, Adams, Wilson. They range from $200-$700 just for the irons.

quote:

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I'm gonna whip my buddy's arse in golf.

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quote:

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Teach me about golf, please.

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Seems legit

Make sure that if you are a right handed golfer that you don't buy the left handed golf balls. Buy the rightys.

Just ask someone when you
Go in to the store. They will be able to help you find the right ball.

Here's my idea for a f***ing sport. I knock a ball in a gopher hole.

— Like pool?

— F*** off pool. Not with a straight stick, with a little f***ed up stick. I whack a ball, it goes in a gopher hole.

— Oh, you mean like croquet?

— F*** croquet! I put the hole hundreds of yards away. Oh, f*** of ya! Big fun, yeah!

— Oh, like a bowling thing?

— F*** no! Not straight. I put shite in the way. Like trees and bushes and high grass. So you can lose you f***ing ball. And go hacking away with a f***ing tire iron. Whacking away, and each time you miss you feel like you'll have a stroke. F*** that's what we'll call it, a stroke, cause each time you miss you feel like you're gonna f***ing die. Oh great, oh and here's the better part. F***, this is brilliant! Right near the end, I'll put a little flat piece with a little flag to give you f***ing hope. But then I'll put a little pool and a sand box, to f*** with your ball again. Ay, you'll be there cracking you arse, jacking away in the sand.

— And you do this one time?

— F*** no! 18 f***ing times! That's my idea of a sport!"

Thanks for fricking up everyone's day at whatever course you decide to play.

Everything you need to know about golf can be learned by playing a few rounds at Celebration Station.