re: Did you ask your girlfriends dad for permission to marry her?

There's no need for me to rush into marriage. It's not the pinnacle of my existence. I can get all the benefits from 90% of modern women you get in yours without losing a dime while working on myself. You deal with women on their terms. I'm dealing with women on mine. You play the game your way and I'll play mine.

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Did you ask your girlfriends dad for permission to marry her?

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Yes. I'm not a yankee.

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I can get all the benefits from 90% of modern women you get in yours without losing a dime while working on myself.

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What does this even mean?

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I did sit down with her Dad and brother and told them my intentions

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That's how it should be done, and how I plan on doing it. I'll let them know that I plan on asking her to marry me, and tell them to welcome me to the family appropriately.

my Father in Law was cool about it. He just said I had to give him 3 goats

My GF's father and I had never really gotten along even though GF and I had dated exclusively all through college for 4 years with no drama or nasty fights. He was just mega-protective of her. He tolerated me and that was about it.

I planned to propose at Christmas time and GF was graduating from LSU that December. Her parents were throwing a graduation party for her and I volunteered to come help FiL to set up everything for the party. He agreed, he needed the help. While we were setting up tables and chairs and the Mom wasn't around I asked him if we could talk and told him I loved his daughter, planned on proposing at Christmas, and would like his blessing.

In that instant his face lit up, his demeanor towards me changed, and our relationship hit a reset button. He smiled, told me that it meant a lot to him that I had the respect to talk with him about this, and that he whole heartedly supported my decision. He patted me on the back, went over to the cooler, opened two beers handed me one, and said "cheers". Then he got this worried look on his face and said, don't you dare tell her mother, she can't keep a secret for shite.

That night at the party we both got a good buzz and it was cool to know that it was our secret. My GF even said "Wow, I've never seen my dad in such a good mood, he's being REALLY nice to you." I just chuckled and told her he must really be proud of her for graduating.

From that day on, he and I have been great friends and I know that he considers me family, and would do anything for me.

It's not about "owning" the woman, it's about letting the father know that you respect him and all he's done to raise his daughter, and that you are going to do everything you can to take care of her the way he did.

I didn't ask my father in law but it was more out of respect for my wife. We had that conversation a few times while we were dating and she mentioned it would actually insult her more. She was the type that pretty much raised herself, put herself through college and we didn't get married right away. We dated for a while and by the time we got married it seemed silly to go through all of that.

Good for you. Seems like he has some issues wrt to self esteem IMO.

I love the I told them my intentions bs. Your actions will tell them more than your words ever can. STOP seeking his approval. He'll give it to you or he won't, regardless if you ask him or not. That's on him. You're adding more obstacles than need be and setting yourself up against another person's expectations that you may not live up to. IMO I'd be more pissed to be lied to my face than if you asked me or not because you're using manipulation rather than being true to you to make me like you.