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Elderly couples...when one dies
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:24 pm
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:24 pm
Has anyone experienced the deterioration of the one still alive? Any tell tale signs and did you know this is what you were experiencing?
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:25 pm to mpar98
Lost my grandfather about 20 months ago. My grandmother is still going strong.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:28 pm to mpar98
Lost my grandfather in December 2012. My grandmother is doing fine but you can tell her mind is always on him. She gets really down sometimes even though she doesn't like to say it.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:31 pm to mpar98
quote:my grandmother and grandfather were married for 40 something years. They both live the last 15 years in bad health. When my grandmother died,my grandfather died about six months later.ETA. My grandfather quit eating,quit sleeping , and quit living when my grandmother died.
Has anyone experienced the deterioration of the one still alive? Any tell tale signs and did you know this is what you were experiencing?
This post was edited on 4/27/14 at 2:33 pm
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:33 pm to papasmurf1269
IWNHI to anyone discussed in this thread.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:35 pm to mpar98
My grandmother was totally dependent on my grandfather. She lost most of her will to live and died two years later. She became paranoid.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:36 pm to mpar98
When my great grandfather was still alive he lived for two years after his wis wife passes. He was still smiling and friendly, but you could tell that he was the loneliest he had ever been. He had been with her for over 75 years. He never really had time in his life when she wasn't there. Even though he lived a long and happy life and was surrounded by his huge family when he died in his sleep, I think he wanted to die. I don't think he wanted to live in a world where she was not around.
Even tough it is sad that he was so lonely, it was also amazing that even after 93 years of living through the best and worse times of the 20th century, he still wanted nothing more than to sit in his recliner with a cup of coffee and talk to the love of his life.
Even tough it is sad that he was so lonely, it was also amazing that even after 93 years of living through the best and worse times of the 20th century, he still wanted nothing more than to sit in his recliner with a cup of coffee and talk to the love of his life.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:37 pm to mpar98
quote:
Has anyone experienced the deterioration of the one still alive? Any tell tale signs and did you know this is what you were experiencing?
the outward signs that I have seen is basically depression....that leads to not eating correctly and also neglecting their own health by not going to the doctor, not taking meds, etc...
fwiw, the two folks are typically in the same age group and probably both have health issues to start with, so the connection between the death of one and the deterioration of the other may be something that we conjure up in our minds....
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:37 pm to mpar98
My dad died just over a year ago. My 72 year old mom is doing great.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:39 pm to mpar98
Pa paw died this past November. Me Maw died 23 days later.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:44 pm to mpar98
My grandmother lived to be 85 and died 9 years after my grandfather. She was always in great physical health and spent the last few years of my grandfather's life taking care of him, but once he died, she didn't have responsibilities anymore so her mind started slipping. The last few years of her life were the saddest, because she really couldn't remember anything for more than a minute or two.
This post was edited on 4/27/14 at 2:46 pm
Posted on 4/27/14 at 2:48 pm to mpar98
My paw paw died when he was 68. They were married for 50 years at that point. My grandma has a picture of him the day he started his own company, and has had it right next to her bed since he died. Every night for the past 21 years, she talks to the picture for a few minutes and kisses it before she goes to sleep. She was 100% ready to go when he died, and has been ever since then. She just stopped getting up out of bed to go do things during the day after that
Posted on 4/27/14 at 3:01 pm to Hammertime
what`s more sad is when a spouse dies and the remaining spouse appears happier, my Dad and my mother-in-law both passed and weren`t the best of people to live with, both remaining parents seem relieved..i`m 49 been married for 25 yrs, when my girl goes, well i can`t even imagine, we are everything to one another. Really hope you young guys get to have that in your lives.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 3:18 pm to AU66
My grandmother lived single for 40+ years after my grandfather died. 5-6 of those years she lived in frat house as a house mother. I would spend the night often at the frat house when I was about 8-12. Good times.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 3:22 pm to Hammertime
quote:
Every night for the past 21 years, she talks to the picture for a few minutes and kisses it before she goes to sleep.
man, that makes me sad as hell....
Posted on 4/27/14 at 3:28 pm to mpar98
my grandpa spent nearly 20 years taking care of my grandmother while she slowly became sicker and sicker. when she died, he was so broken. I thought it would be just a matter of months before we'd lose him too. he ended up meeting a woman who made him happy again. they've been married for over 10 years now, and while she's not my most favorite person in the world and will never come close to the amazing person my grandmother was, she very likely saved his life and we got my awesome pawpaw back.
on the other hand, a very close couple of family friends both died within months of each other. he was so dead inside after his wife passed and couldn't go on anymore. it was so sad.
on the other hand, a very close couple of family friends both died within months of each other. he was so dead inside after his wife passed and couldn't go on anymore. it was so sad.
This post was edited on 4/27/14 at 3:30 pm
Posted on 4/27/14 at 3:35 pm to Spankum
She forever will be 100% dedicated to him. I honestly think the reason she is still hanging on is because she doesn't want to disappoint us grandkids. She has died 4 or 5 times, had 3 different types of cancer, 2 strokes recently, broken her hip twice and femur once, completely broken her left shoulder, etc. Tough as nails, but I know exactly where her heart belongs
Posted on 4/27/14 at 3:35 pm to Spankum
Wife's family in law couple. Married 50+ years. She had a stroke and while in hospital had second massive stroke and died. While driving or being driven home from hospital the husband has chest pains so he returns to hospital. Dies in ER.
More personally both of my grandmothers were the first to go. Both marriages were 40+ years. Both husbands/grandfathers made it about 2 years. My dad's dad gave me my first man hug and man cry. I went to shake his hand like everyone else in funeral home. He grabbed mine (his hands were huge mechanic hands) pulled me in to hug him and he lost it. Through sobs said he was sorry. And "what am I gonna do?" I lost my shite and walked out into hallway. First man hug and man cry for me. I handled it poorly but I was 15.
More personally both of my grandmothers were the first to go. Both marriages were 40+ years. Both husbands/grandfathers made it about 2 years. My dad's dad gave me my first man hug and man cry. I went to shake his hand like everyone else in funeral home. He grabbed mine (his hands were huge mechanic hands) pulled me in to hug him and he lost it. Through sobs said he was sorry. And "what am I gonna do?" I lost my shite and walked out into hallway. First man hug and man cry for me. I handled it poorly but I was 15.
Posted on 4/27/14 at 3:42 pm to Hammertime
quote:
I honestly think the reason she is still hanging on is because she doesn't want to disappoint us grandkids.
well, that is good that she still feels that she has something to live for...hope all of you visit her frequently...
what I wouldn't give for just one more visit with mine....
Posted on 4/27/14 at 3:44 pm to glassman
Can't believe it's been that long.
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