OT Advice: Family issue

I’ve been on this board a long time and I should probably know better than this. Talk about last resorts, huh?

This is definitely TL;DR so I added it to the bottom. And yes, I threw it into AI to clean it up for better understanding.

We’re dealing with serious issues involving my mother-in-law, who is in her early 60s. We recently moved her in with us after she lost her job for not showing up. She lived about two hours away, and we thought a fresh start might help her get back on track.

For the first couple of months, things seemed okay—she was looking for work and adjusting. But after that, we started noticing a steady decline.

She has alcohol and heavy smoking issues and began isolating herself in her room most of the day, only coming out to smoke or drink. This continued for a few more months. I eventually helped her secure a very good job opportunity, but she skipped the interview and stopped responding to calls. Even after the employer gave her another chance, she still didn’t follow through. Her explanation was that she “didn’t have appropriate clothes.”

Around this time, we also started noticing concerning signs that something may be medically wrong. We found receipts from a doctor in Lafayette that we didn’t know she had visited, but she refuses to tell us anything about it and will not agree to see a doctor under any circumstances.

After an argument with my wife, she left with her dog and moved to Texas to stay with her 89-year-old mother. That was about four months ago.

Since then, she has not worked, has no income, and is completely dependent on her mother. Recently, we got a call saying she took her mother’s car and was missing for about four hours. This is especially concerning because she has previously made comments about “driving until the gas runs out” and leaving everything behind. She did return, but there are now additional concerns.

She has been making inappropriate comments to her elderly mother about selling the house after she dies and asking about her late husband’s finances. She does nothing all day except smoke and sit in a chair. Her mother is 89, frail, and unlikely to set boundaries or intervene.

We’re going over there tomorrow for an event, but we expect it to be difficult. At this point, she has no job, no money, no stability, and appears to be deteriorating physically—people have even commented that she looks like a stage 4 cancer patient. She refuses all medical care, no matter the option.

We are at our breaking point. We don’t know what legal or practical steps we can take. She cannot return to our home, as it would severely damage our family, but we also don’t know how to handle what’s happening now.

?

TL;DR

MIL (early 60s) moved in after losing job but rapidly declined into heavy alcohol/smoking, isolation, and refusal to work or seek medical care. She left after conflict and is now in Texas with her 89-year-old mother, who she is financially and emotionally exploiting. She’s showing possible serious medical or mental decline, has made concerning statements about driving off, and recently disappeared for hours in her mother’s car. She refuses treatment, has no income or stability, and the family is at a loss about legal or practical options.