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Flight strategies
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:40 pm
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:40 pm
Had to fly commercial and am stuck on the tarmac at O’Hare due to weather. Small CRJ with no first class and stuck with a woman next to me that’s 300 pounds of she’s an ounce.
She’s folding over into my fricking seat and I’m about to lose my shite! Any advice on how to not end up on a no fly list?
She’s folding over into my fricking seat and I’m about to lose my shite! Any advice on how to not end up on a no fly list?
12
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:41 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Small CRJ with no first class
Never fly Spirit.
This post was edited on 4/16/26 at 1:42 pm
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:43 pm to Obi Wan Ryobi
quote:
Never fly Spirit.
It’s United. Spirit is like Southwest they only fly 737s I think. Sadly, there’d be more room on a spirit plane than this price of shite.
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:43 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Any advice on how to not end up on a no fly list?
Fly better carriers and stop going budget
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:46 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Had to fly commercial
Oh you poor thing.
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:47 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:happened to me once. All over the armrest and she was steady bitching that snacks cost. (I will fly budget if it is a direct 3 hour or less flight, especially last minute to stay with family). She lost it when I pulled a coke and m&ms out of my bag.
stuck with a woman next to me that’s 300 pounds of she’s an ounce.
TLDR- have pocket snacks, eat them, and don't share
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:48 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Ask the flight attendant if they have a piece of cardboard or another flat, thin object they can wedge between the fatty's seat and the arm rest that will prevent her disgusting fat rolls accrued from a lifetime of poor decisions from invading your personal space.
Or you can order a bunch of drinks, get sloppy drunk, and then either pass out or start lecturing the fatty about how inconsiderate and annoying of a person she is to even think about flying commercially in an economy seat given her grotesque figure.
Or you can order a bunch of drinks, get sloppy drunk, and then either pass out or start lecturing the fatty about how inconsiderate and annoying of a person she is to even think about flying commercially in an economy seat given her grotesque figure.
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:48 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
fart on her
Posted on 4/16/26 at 1:49 pm to DustyDinkleman
The fact that people here dont know what a CRJ is and who flies them is sad. If you think OP is on a budget airline, you need to get out more.
Posted on 4/16/26 at 2:02 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Start tickling her till she moves
Posted on 4/16/26 at 2:04 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Turn your brightness up so that she can see you typing that
Posted on 4/16/26 at 2:04 pm to DustyDinkleman
quote:
Fly better carriers and stop going budget
I mistakenly bought this flight because of the schedule. Now that we are 4+ hours delayed and I’m in hell I will be sticking with either waiting for one of the company planes or the airline I have better status with.
Going through O’Hare was a huge mistake.
Posted on 4/16/26 at 2:04 pm to Bourre
That might stir up the smell that is surely present
Posted on 4/16/26 at 2:05 pm to Bourre
to their credit, I think Spirit flies mainly newish A321's.
Posted on 4/16/26 at 2:07 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Thats why I fly with a pocket full of Titos minis in my carry on.
Posted on 4/16/26 at 2:08 pm to cgrand
quote:
fart on her
Just start letting it rip. Everyone's going to blame the fatty anyway.
Posted on 4/16/26 at 2:33 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
She’s folding over into my fricking seat and I’m about to lose my shite! Any advice on how to not end up on a no fly list?
Offer her some nachos, then find a fold and have some fun!
Posted on 4/18/26 at 7:11 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Any advice on how to not end up on a no fly list?
Invite her to the bathroom and PIIHB?
Posted on 4/18/26 at 7:13 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
Flight strategies
quote:
O’Hare
Avoid this airport
Posted on 4/18/26 at 7:21 am to Recognizable Poster
quote:
Or you can order a bunch of drinks, get sloppy drunk,
Be careful, you’d be stepping right into her dating wheelhouse and could unwillingly join the mile high club.
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