Friday Story Time With Innit

Last cinco de mayo, I met Norwegian Sven’s midlife crisis having wife. She was a 40 yr old 5’8” blond with blue eyes and a bottle tan from the shores of Lake Minnetonka. And no, I asked. She didn't bloody know Prince, had no idea who Jerome or even Morris Day is (oh my sweet summer child) and no she never saw Appolonia’s WAP. Asked that one a few times if I recall. She was down here “to get away from my butt plug freezing solid in my bleached buttwhole.” And yes I checked. A few times if I recollect. It was indeed bleached. Little puckered rascal had the taste feel and texture of the entry step of the overly chlorinated baby pool at the Plaquemine American Legion. She could spend an August weekend squatting in the hydrilla growing in Basura Blanco’s courtyard fountain and her little viking port hole would come out as slick and algae free as Consuela’s brand new Restoration Hardware teak mop bucket innit.