Dear Michigan, Brian Kelly is an amazing guy and would make one helluva good coach

Let us count the ways:
He hails from Massachusetts, but says "families" like a true Midwesterner
Although he is guaranteed to give you the worst statistical seasons for offense, defense and special teams, it will not occur during the same season. With this gift comes the opportunity for marked improvement the next year.
He is always willing to "coach em" better and will in fact say he's "gotta" do that after every game.
He is a man of integrity and will not bang a staff member. Perhaps the occasional real estate agent, but never within the program.
He loves to take the ball when winning the coin toss as he thinks that provides an advantage vs. the chance for back-to-back possessions.
Please lobby the NCAA to increase the # of timeouts to 5 per half. They are a necessity on the 1st possessions.
He'll dance with recruits occasionally and perhaps donate some cash to NIL. Very giving.
Just a personable guy who always sticks up for his players.
BTW, his 1st head coaching job was at Grand Valley State in the great state of Michigan! Time to bring him home.

Go for it Michigan. He's your guy.