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A risque handicap scooter race through HEB yesterday

Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:20 pm
Posted by Trevaylin
south texas
Member since Feb 2019
9490 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:20 pm
Wife and I are 78, spend most of our waking time going to doctors. Yesterday eye surgeon went late, wife had not fainted, needed a real steak to celebrate but we were running late to pick up dog from groomer. I stopped at a very large HEB and wife convinced me to use her scooter since the two items needed were at opposite ends of the back side of the store and I am do to get the nerve deadening shots in the lower back for spine degeneration so I walk slow.
Her scooter is a Pride go go sporty that does 15 miles per hour which in a crowded grocery store is really fast. I turned the speed controller up to rabbit level and took off like a striped cat. At the end of aisle intersection, I moved fast enough o slide the front wheel around the corners. Passing folks was easy. A 25 minute walkthrough was clocked at 8.5 minutes.
Back in the younger days it was a Pontiac Transam. Sold the Harley a month ago. Drag racing scooters in HEB is my future
Posted by SallysHuman
Lady Palmetto Bug
Member since Jan 2025
12691 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:24 pm to
This was a fun read.
Posted by CootKilla
In a beer can/All dog's nightmares
Member since Jul 2007
6112 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:30 pm to
Sounds like you drank too much cough syrup pawpaw! Slow your roll.
Posted by holmesbr
Baton Rouge, La.
Member since Feb 2012
3856 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:31 pm to
I'm not mad at this. Just make sure the videos are in landscape for the aisle takeovers.
Posted by MMauler
Primary This RINO Traitor
Member since Jun 2013
23845 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:34 pm to
Posted by MoarKilometers
Member since Apr 2015
20337 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:40 pm to
You're like a year old than my dad. I'd be proud if he were telling me this story enjoy tf outta life, baw.
Posted by Teddy Ruxpin
Member since Oct 2006
40524 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:41 pm to
I hope you yelled "get out of the way, Paw paw!" a few times.
This post was edited on 11/5/25 at 5:42 pm
Posted by Purplehaze
spring, tx
Member since Dec 2003
2285 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:47 pm to
Well I am 75, Lymphedema is bad in my feet and ankles and in my trips to HEB, I use their scooters. They are fun to drive but don't go as fast as yours.
Posted by EastWestConnection
Denver/Shenzhen/Belfast
Member since Jul 2024
1091 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:49 pm to
I never want to be old
This post was edited on 11/5/25 at 5:50 pm
Posted by liquid rabbit
Boxtard BPB®© emeritus
Member since Mar 2006
64467 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:52 pm to
quote:

risque

I think you mean a different word.
Posted by Booyow
Member since Mar 2010
4174 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 5:54 pm to
quote:

I turned the speed controller up to rabbit level


Whoa Pops, same some pussy for the rest of us
Posted by 225rumpshaker
Texas
Member since Sep 2006
11945 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 6:00 pm to
4 out of 5 stars just for the simple fact I did not get the risqué payoff
Posted by rgsa
La.
Member since May 2015
2852 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 6:20 pm to
Posted by F1y0n7h3W4LL
Below I-10
Member since Jul 2019
3490 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 6:24 pm to
quote:

Wife and I are 78,

Kids nowadays.
Posted by Trevaylin
south texas
Member since Feb 2019
9490 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 6:33 pm to
risque at 78 is anything more enjoyable than a Ducolac suppository . Drag racing scooters in HEB is a blast
Posted by rented mule
Member since Sep 2005
2715 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 6:44 pm to
Fast and furious dairy aisle drift.
This post was edited on 11/5/25 at 6:46 pm
Posted by ChatGPT of LA
Member since Mar 2023
4061 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 7:06 pm to
Great, and this post will be used against you in a lawsuit when u hit an illegal on SNAP
Posted by Buzz Lightbeer
Member since Feb 2018
2350 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 7:12 pm to
quote:

a Pride go go sporty


Posted by Basura Blanco
Member since Dec 2011
11231 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 7:19 pm to
That is some good shite buddy.

I bought my dad a Dodge Challenger for his 75th birthday. He had moved in with us and had not had a new car in 25 years and being a heterosexual male, the thrill of trying to keep a naturally aspirated 500 HP car with the aerodynamics of a brick out of the ditch was enough for me to pull the trigger.

The best $35K I ever spent. Its actually gone up in value due to low mileage, and he (and I) went thru three sets of tires in the five years he drove it before passing away last year at 80.

I take it out occasionally when I am really missing him and it feels damn good. A few months after he passed I was going thru some unopened mail of his that had piled up and found an arrest warrant for three unpaid speeding tickets. Best damn letter I opened in ages.
This post was edited on 11/5/25 at 7:20 pm
Posted by Bayou
Boudin, LA
Member since Feb 2005
41236 posts
Posted on 11/5/25 at 7:45 pm to
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