He's not cool to like, but Justin Long played 2 of the GOAT minor comedic characters

He's obviously not the only actor that could have handled both roles. There are even some that could have probably done one/both roles a bit better. But for being the annoying Dell guy + generally shitty romcom actor, he knocked these out of the park.

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Doctor: Don't worry, scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick-arse lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.

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Doctor: [laughs] Right, kick arse. Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fricked up. Ah, you talk like a fig, and your shite's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like...

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Zack: What brings you here?
Brandon: I came here with somebody who went to school here, Bobby Long.
Zack: No shite! That's who my friend's hitting on right now! See, right there, the one dressed like Hannah Montana.
Brandon: In L.A. we call that look 'Nickelodeon Chique'.
Zack: Wait, L.A.? Los Angeles? That's awesome, man, what do you do out there?
Brandon: I'm an actor.
Zack: Wow! That's really impressive.
Brandon: Thank you.
Zack: fricking movies?
Brandon: fricking movies. Pretty much.
Zack: Look at you! Anything I've seen? What movies?
Brandon: Oh, all sorts of movies with all-male casts.
Zack: All-male casts? Like "Glengarry Glen Ross"? Like that?
Brandon: Like "Glen and Gary suck Ross's meaty cock and drop their hairy nuts in his eager mouth."
Zack: [stunned] Is that like a sequel?
Brandon: Sort of. It's a reimagining.
Zack: Oh, like "The Wiz".
Brandon: More erotic. And with less women. No women, to be exact.
Zack: I apologize in advance if I'm out of line here, but are you in gay porn?
Brandon: Guilty as charged.

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Brandon: I thought you recognized me from my work, but you're not my demographic so I'm not offended.
Zack: Well, who's your demographic?
Brandon: Do you like pussy?
Zack: Yeah.
Brandon: Then not you.

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Zack: Brandon, uh, is the star as such adult fare as, what was that one called again?
Brandon: "You better shut your mouth or I'm gonna frick it."

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