Need a little encouragement. I have a difficult young son.

We have small kids. We continue to struggle with our oldest who is 3. He doesn't listen and is outright defiant. He's way too big and its become a problem. He must be close to 4' tall about 45 lbs. He's a tank.

He can't be reasoned with at times and bedtime is always a complete disaster. I'm talking throwing himself on the floor. Screaming, hollaring. He has started taking off his clothes at day care and get butt arse naked. The teacher spoke with us...and I'm kind of without answers. He's basically feral. I try to speak with him and reason but it's like his mind is all over the place.

We love our son but my wife and I realize nothing with this child is easy. I don't think he is autistic. He's very smart- not in that parent blind to reality way.

Kid just will not listen. Maybe this is normal but its beyond difficult and has been since he turned 2.

He fixates on things he wants and his mind cannot let go. It makes it borderline impossible to give him direction.

We're at the point of having him evaluated. His physical size makes him tough to control. I'm praying this is a phase and his brain magically develops.

Update:

We had a great day and a difficult night again. I have him signed up for baseball and I took him to the field to play. We played outside and he seemed to thrive with physical activity.

Tonight he didn't want me to get him dressed. He starter thrashing and hitting me. I told him that was unacceptable and he got disciplined, which caused him to go wild.

I held him for 20 minutes waiting for him to calm down and stop thrashing. His will power never quit. I just kept rubbing his back and telling him to calm down. Got to be honest, that didn't work. He still crying but down to a simmer...the boys got no quit.

I felt I responded with firmness and love. No idea what that did besides trying to get him to understand he won't get his way. I think this is abnormal though. Giving his whippins wasn't the answer. It just sent him into a tailspin.

He just can't roll with it. It's his way or complete distress. I'm a pretty, firm and stern guy. This isn't a kid styling on me. I think it's a mental issue at this point and this confirmed it. Who fights someone for 20 straight minutes?