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re: How many of us are products of a divorced family?

Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:05 am to
Posted by AUstar
Member since Dec 2012
17884 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:05 am to
quote:

That's so difficult to believe.


I believe it and it makes sense if you think about it. Back in the boomer generation a woman was considered a spinster if she wasn't married by age 24, so people often married the first person they could find. Also, a ton of dudes in the Vietnam era married a random chick just so he could dodge the draft. This all resulted in a ton of divorces once divorce became more socially accepted in the 80's.

Now fewer people marry at all, and they are marrying at older, more mature ages now as well. This results in a lower divorce rate.
Posted by redneck hippie
Stillwater
Member since Dec 2008
5749 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:06 am to
As a child of divorced parents, one of the silent promises to my children is that I wouldn’t do the same to them.
Posted by Mushroom1968
Member since Jun 2023
2404 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:07 am to
quote:

on of dudes in the Vietnam era married a random chick just so he could dodge the draft


Dad got married in 69 and still got drafted

ETA: Uncle turned 18 and only went through 1 draft in 71 iirc. He missed it and lucked out. I was born in 73 and sister in 71. Dad definitely did not want to be in Vietnam but was sent anyways. I know my granddad who was in WW2 didn't want him and my uncle there either.
This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 8:15 am
Posted by Will Cover
St. Louis, MO
Member since Mar 2007
39058 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:07 am to
quote:

As a child of divorced parents, one of the silent promises to my children is that I wouldn’t do the same to them.


Same. I always had that same mindset. Unfortunately, if the other person (spouse) wants out, there's nothing anyone can do about it, as they have just as much say as anyone else.



Posted by cfish140
BR
Member since Aug 2007
7577 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:07 am to
Parents divorced when i was 9. I had commitment issues when i was younger and didnt have a serious relationship until i was 30 (she is now my fiance') but other than that i think i turned out pretty normal. It's weird as shite imagining my parents were ever together now. They're polar opposites.
Posted by Mushroom1968
Member since Jun 2023
2404 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:11 am to
quote:

but if you look at some predominantly black communities that are majority fatherless households that causes lots of issues.



Years ago listened to a group discuss this on the radio. They were mostly talking about how white kids who grew up in a fatherless home were just as likely to have problems as black kids, just much more prevalent in the black community. There's also a big difference between a kid having their dad die young (heart attack, wreck, etc) and a dad walking out on the family or going to prison, big difference in the psyche to a child. Kid's who's dad abandoned the family or chose a fake life on the streets can't comprehend that, like they can their dad dying from a medical issue or wreck. They end up many times with the same fate as their dad, in prison, drugs, etc.
Posted by Tiger in the Sticks
Back in the Boot
Member since Jan 2007
1500 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:14 am to
Between my husband and I, our parents racked up 4 divorces; there were a lot of life lessons there. I think it impacted me a lot when we were first married-I kept waiting for the fall. That disappeared after we figured out how to navigate our own way regarding fights etc. Honestly, it helped that we lived at least 5 hours away from our parents so we couldn’t run home when we were mad. Had to stay and work it out. We were married 40 years when he passed away; it went by incredibly fast.
Posted by HubbaBubba
North of DFW, TX
Member since Oct 2010
47049 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:16 am to
quote:

UltimaParadox
Can you provide a link to where this data comes from, or was this a random image you found on the webz?
Posted by VABuckeye
Naples, FL
Member since Dec 2007
36184 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:16 am to
Raises hand.

Not my kids. October 11th will be 38 years.
Posted by sleepytime
Member since Feb 2014
3648 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:26 am to
quote:

Opposite is actually happening, divorce rates continue to trend downward since their peak near 1980


This is because people aren't getting married as young and just not getting married at all.
Posted by HeadSlash
TEAM LIVE BADASS - St. GEORGE
Member since Aug 2006
51488 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:36 am to
Yes and yes
Posted by parrothead
big salty ham
Member since Mar 2010
4648 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:41 am to


Not necessarily due to divorce, but the single mother statistics speak for themselves. Take from it what you will.
Posted by Zarkinletch416
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Member since Jan 2020
8689 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:55 am to
In most cases, divorce is devestating to children. I'm reminded of a sad incident on a early Saturday morning about 30 years ago (It was so disturbing the incident is etched in my mind) I'd gone to this local place of business to pick up some items. There were two ladies behind the counter and one of them was on the phone. Right there in front of everyone the mother was trashing her ex for forgetting to pick up their son that morning. It was his weekend to have their son and he simply didn't pick him up. . So she was forced to bring him to work. I could only imagine the foul language in that car as the woman (she was no lady - for sure) drove to work. The mother was clearly distraught.

But what was most disturbing about that incident - as I rummaged through the aisles looking for my item, I spotted the young man (maybe 13) hiding behind some shelving in the corner of the store. I could read the pain and embarassment in his face. I smiled at him as he glanced away from me. How do you console a hurt like that?

Divorced families with children is a great tragedy. I'll describe it that way.
This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 8:21 pm
Posted by Kjnstkmn
Vermilion Parish
Member since Aug 2020
13025 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 8:58 am to
For the Kids

quote:

There's a light, it's burnin' in your eyes tonight
You're doing more then killin' time
Did our dreams simply burn like kerosene? Chasin' the ghosts of another life
I know you're gonna go away Before you do I got somethin' to say

[Chorus]
If we could stay together for the kids
And a few more years
They might not end up like we did

Love has a way of losin' its shine over time You were young and so was I
And we don't have to be happy
We don't have to b? happy


quote:

[Verse 2]
There's a voice of a little girl and a little boy
Is your freedom worth the price?

There's nothin' left to say
The heart tends to only want what causes it to break
And we both know this ain't right
So think about them before you go
'Cause I can't do this on my own


This post was edited on 3/30/24 at 9:00 am
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
50553 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:01 am to
Me and my 2 siblings are products of a divorced family. We've all 3 been married 18+ years.
Posted by TigerGM
Member since Nov 2014
1050 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:01 am to
quote:

That's so difficult to believe.


More people are becoming educated and waiting later in life to get married. I’d imagine the later in life you get married the better chance you have of staying together. Get married at 18 and sick of that person at 25. My taste in women changed drastically around 25/26 years old.
Posted by Aubie Spr96
lolwut?
Member since Dec 2009
42212 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:04 am to
Both my parents and my wife’s parents have been great examples of what NOT to do in a great number of things. We both committed to not be like them. Married for 28 years now.
Posted by azcatiger
somewhere
Member since Mar 2011
4893 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:08 am to
My parents divorce was bad, lots of hate. I got married very young, knocking up my wife in college and we made it through a lot of shite because I made myself the promise to never leave my kids and be there for them on a daily basis. I don’t know if it was the right thing but we made it through and have been married for 33 years. I wouldn’t change my decision if I could do it over again.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
50553 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:18 am to
quote:

Both my parents and my wife’s parents have been great examples of what NOT to do in a great number of things. We both committed to not be like them. Married for 28 years now.

I think my parents' marriage was a good lesson in what not to do for us. It was rough on the family. My dad was only 39 when they got divorced and said at the time he'd never get married again, and never has. He's 75 now and has been a bachelor for 36 years.
Posted by Aubie Spr96
lolwut?
Member since Dec 2009
42212 posts
Posted on 3/30/24 at 9:25 am to
Mom never remarried but dad did.
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