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Starting Over After Divorce
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:47 pm
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:47 pm
I’m 36 and my wife and I have a 7 month old son. We bought a house last year. Everything was falling into place, even though we’d had a rough patch the year prior. It’s a long story and way too many details but we’re now getting divorced. I tried really hard for a long time but it just didn’t work. Now I’m pushing 40 and facing the prospect of starting over and I can’t even imagine it. I mean in my mind I’m settled down. I’m a homebody. I go to bed early. I mostly just work and my only hobby is hunting. I’m an old man. The thought of trying to date and start a family again is just wild. I know tons of people here have been through this but did any of you feel the way I do about being settled and all that? How did you get back out there? How have things worked out?
119
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:50 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Well Nelson, you came to the right place.
ETA, I’m not the best to ask how to go forward, but many will be along shortly with more advice than you asked for.
ETA, I’m not the best to ask how to go forward, but many will be along shortly with more advice than you asked for.
This post was edited on 2/18/24 at 10:52 pm
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:50 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
I’m a homebody. I go to bed early. I mostly just work and my only hobby is hunting. I’m an old man
You’re not an old man. I would say to get out of this mindset
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:51 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
You will have an easier time find a new partner in the long run than she will.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:55 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
I’m 36
quote:
Now I’m pushing 40
quote:
I’m an old man
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:55 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Sad for you.
Do *NOT* start dating within at least a year. I don't know your personality, but I don't even know I'd even try to start rutting before then. You will try to attach your emotional needs to almost anyone you need (even if she says she's here for a good time, not a long time.)
Don't worry about starting a family again, you already have one, it's the 7 month old. This needs to be the focus of your suck fest. Everything takes a back seat to him. Now, does that mean your non scheduling and non communicating ex wife in line? No. But document it. It may take a decade.
Do *NOT* start dating within at least a year. I don't know your personality, but I don't even know I'd even try to start rutting before then. You will try to attach your emotional needs to almost anyone you need (even if she says she's here for a good time, not a long time.)
Don't worry about starting a family again, you already have one, it's the 7 month old. This needs to be the focus of your suck fest. Everything takes a back seat to him. Now, does that mean your non scheduling and non communicating ex wife in line? No. But document it. It may take a decade.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:57 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Lots of I’s in your post, but only one mention of your son.
Shouldn’t you be more worried about how your divorce impacts his life???
Shouldn’t you be more worried about how your divorce impacts his life???
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:58 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
It’s a long story and way too many details
I hate that she cheated on you. fricked up being that you have a 7 month old. She sounds like a psychopath. You’ll be better off in the long run.
This post was edited on 2/18/24 at 10:59 pm
Posted on 2/18/24 at 10:59 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Sounds like you have Low T. Might wanna get that checked out.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:00 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
If you come back and read this post in 5 years you will laugh. Lift some weights. Get some self esteem. You let this broad defeat you.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:03 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
my wife and I have a 7 month old son. We bought a house last year. Everything was falling into place, even though we’d had a rough patch the year prior.
So y’all had a rough patch and thought buying a house and having a kid would fix it?
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:03 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
Now I’m pushing 40 and facing the prospect of starting over and I can’t even imagine it. I mean in my mind I’m settled down. I’m a homebody. I go to bed early. I mostly just work and my only hobby is hunting. I’m an old man.
Don’t let the old man in.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:05 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Having a newborn when you are going thru a rough patch in a relationship is always a good strategy
Hoes are kinda loose on their 40s but they have kids, so you are basically gonna swap the crazy girl you liked for another crazy with someone else’s kids
Good luck, keep us posted
Hoes are kinda loose on their 40s but they have kids, so you are basically gonna swap the crazy girl you liked for another crazy with someone else’s kids
Good luck, keep us posted
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:05 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Get in shape. The rest will work itself out.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:11 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I know it's cliche but it does get better with time. Keep walking through the fire and you'll find yourself on the other side. Stay in it and it will burn you up.
Bitterness is poison. Let it go, it will taint you and everything around you.
Just live man. We get one shot. Learn from your mistakes and soldier on.
And remember, Dawn always follows Darkness
Bitterness is poison. Let it go, it will taint you and everything around you.
Just live man. We get one shot. Learn from your mistakes and soldier on.
And remember, Dawn always follows Darkness
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:12 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
The thought of trying to date and start a family again is just wild.
Then don’t baw
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:12 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
It’s a long story and way too many details but we’re now getting divorced.
Can’t really give sound advice without more info here.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:18 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
The thought of trying to date and start a family again is just wild.
You seem to have created some artificial pressures on yourself. There’s no reason you have to strive for exactly the same life you had …unless you want that.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:22 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I did it. Almost the same circumstances minus the kid.
It'll be fine. Don't stress it. Women at that age mostly want the same things. As long as you don't go younger, they will probably need in the bed earlier than you.
It'll be fine. Don't stress it. Women at that age mostly want the same things. As long as you don't go younger, they will probably need in the bed earlier than you.
Posted on 2/18/24 at 11:27 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
First things first, don’t be like that judge in the other thread. Get a paternity test of the kid. Should be priority number one.
Hit the gym and then the dating apps. You will be fine. First couple months are tough but you can get through it.
Hit the gym and then the dating apps. You will be fine. First couple months are tough but you can get through it.
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