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Posted on 1/29/24 at 7:30 am to TheTeaux
quote:
he realized that he loves his wife and going to try to make it work.
Bad choice
Funny how women always get a pass
This post was edited on 1/29/24 at 7:31 am
Posted on 1/29/24 at 7:36 am to GetCocky11
I actually read all 23 pages
Posted on 1/29/24 at 7:40 am to LSUFreek
quote:
A wife cheating is deeper than the sex part. Sex is just the symptom of a larger issue. It's more about the "why?" and the painful answers that follow.
More importantly, it's the broken trust that will ultimately end this dude's marriage, no matter what earnest-but-temporary bandaids are applied. Every time she's hours late, or unreachable by phone, or gets a text, etc., no matter how innocent/benign, the dude will make himself (& her) miserable with the "Where've you been?", "Why didn't you answer?" & "Who's that?" pre-fight questions. It's irreparable now, no matter how long they fool each other that it's working.
quote:
Yep. It ain't sex, it's attention.
yep, 75% of the time when a spouse cheats its because they are they are missing something in the marriage
some people are just assholes and whores but most of the time if a guy cheats...its because he isnt getting any from the wife or she belittles him at all times so even when he is getting some, she makes him feel like shite and its usually only duty sex. These women usually are miserable people and spend tons of time on social media comparing themselves to others. They are always riding their husbands arse about something, no matter what. No matter how much he does, things around the house, things for the kids/her etc etc its never good enough for her. He finally gets tired of it and ends up cheating with someone that may not be as pretty but is softer, quieter, nicer, and serves him.
if wife cheats, it may be he sucks in bed(usually one of the causes) and usually he doesnt even date her, communicate with her, and 99.99% of the time the sense of security across the board is broken. Usually its a combo of all these. Husband ignores her most of the day, his idea of sex time is rolling over and asking for it randomly, then she ends up never satisfied both sexually and emotionally. Usually guys like this think because they provide, thats all they should have to do and their wife should swoon over them just because. Wife usually falls for someone that shows them attention and actually allows them to talk and flirts with them so it makes the women feel special.
TLDR: dont be a dick and treat your spouse like you are just starting to date no matter how long you have been together.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 7:43 am to BK Lounge
I was able to find out who he was with a little google searching. I wasn't going to out him on here. That backfired in the last cheating thread. So, I just let it be.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 7:46 am to jstew311
So what was his last post about his marriage before it was deleted?
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:00 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
Yep. It ain't sex, it's attention.
Wrong. It's both actually. There are people like me that could never get over the visual too. So it's most certainly about both. So while it may be some emotional disconnect for her that caused it, I can't ever forget or forgive the sex.
This post was edited on 1/29/24 at 8:05 am
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:10 am to Sput
quote:
4. Posted a pic in thread at 2am with wife’s boyfriend’s cock in his mouth and thread got scrubbed
And I missed it. God DAMMIT!
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:12 am to jstew311
quote:
I was able to find out who he was with a little google searching. I wasn't going to out him on here. That backfired in the last cheating thread. So, I just let it be.
I'm generally one of the better ones on the OT at using 'markers' to identify posters. But how'd y'all do this with basic shite like the type of vehicle he drove and living close to Live Oak? What else did he share?
This post was edited on 1/29/24 at 8:18 am
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:23 am to Oates Mustache
quote:
Wrong. It's both actually. There are people like me that could never get over the visual too. So it's most certainly about both. So while it may be some emotional disconnect for her that caused it, I can't ever forget or forgive the sex.
They are talking about what it is from the woman’s perspective, not the man’s.
It’s 100% correct. Wives who cheat rarely do it solely to get laid. It almost always starts with an emotional connection with another man, or a lack of emotional connection with their husband causes them to jump into bed with someone they believe will emotionally connect with them.
If your wife cheats and you are willing to try to save the marriage, this is important to know. You can’t assume her motivations are the same as yours. If you focus on the sex (understandable because that’s what makes you feel most betrayed), you might underestimate the more dangerous emotional component that lead her to another man in the first place.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:29 am to Oates Mustache
quote:
Wrong. It's both actually. There are people like me that could never get over the visual too. So it's most certainly about both. So while it may be some emotional disconnect for her that caused it, I can't ever forget or forgive the sex.
uhh yea im with you. sorry but if my wife cheats....im not getting over it. the imaginary visual, the overall feeling of betrayal that comes with that etc etc
sorry not getting over it. Im done.
its the same reason i could never have a threesome with my wife, guy or girl, same reason I would never cheat...i would never want to put that visual and burden on someone i love.
one thing i never understood is the spouses that are unwilling to work on the way they treat their spouse but will go out and have an affair, essentially putting same effort it would have taken into someone new.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:35 am to mikelbr
quote:
I'm generally one of the better ones on the OT at using 'markers' to identify posters. But how'd y'all do this with basic shite like the type of vehicle he drove and living close to Live Oak? What else did he share?
Post history, username
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:36 am to Dadren
quote:
They are talking about what it is from the woman’s perspective, not the man’s.
It’s 100% correct. Wives who cheat rarely do it solely to get laid. It almost always starts with an emotional connection with another man, or a lack of emotional connection with their husband causes them to jump into bed with someone they believe will emotionally connect with them.
If your wife cheats and you are willing to try to save the marriage, this is important to know. You can’t assume her motivations are the same as yours. If you focus on the sex (understandable because that’s what makes you feel most betrayed), you might underestimate the more dangerous emotional component that lead her to another man in the first place.
usually it starts with the sense of security being broken. That doesnt mean what guys think as in the women doesnt feel safe...it can mean that but also may mean she doesnt feel like he follows through with things , he may push all decision making on to her, may make fun of her behind her back, etc etc
usally this happens because communication sucks, usually from both parties.
then they start feeling emotionally unsafe, emotionally unheard etc etc then that leads to accepting of flirts being shown towards her...then onto physical touch etc etc
the physical act of sex, is the culmination of a multitude of failures of the spouse along the way.
atleast 75% of the time. Not always the case, but every time i have seen someone cheat that wasnt just a whore...this was the issue.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:36 am to Oates Mustache
quote:
So it's most certainly about both
Men use attention to get sex. Women use sex to gain attention.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:46 am to jstew311
quote:
Post history, username
ah duh. That makes sense. I'm a tard.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:48 am to TheTeaux
quote:
Please don’t out the guy. I think he realized that he loves his wife and going to try to make it work. I hope he posts his success on the TD.
Doesnt matter how much you love her, you have to let her go. The trust is gone.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 8:56 am to SlapahoeTribe
quote:
Pretty sure he claimed to live within a couple of miles of Live Oak High School -
This. It was in his post about power outages I urged him to delete it, obviously afterwards he realized he was most likely busted.
This post was edited on 1/29/24 at 8:58 am
Posted on 1/29/24 at 9:21 am to lsu777
quote:
one thing i never understood is the spouses that are unwilling to work on the way they treat their spouse but will go out and have an affair, essentially putting same effort it would have taken into someone new.
These are usually the Cluster B personalities (NPD, BPD, etc) that do this. People are objects to them and only idealized images in their mind. Once the personality disorder is offended, they have trouble keeping the idealized version in tact. The offender is then all bad. They see things in black and white.
They are also paranoid and are so insecure that they need to find someone else to run their game on. They usually feel that their partner has figured them out once they are offended so they go ahead and look for their replacement.
Like another poster mentioned, it’s all about fresh new adoration and attention. The Cluster B’s are not only incapable of giving actual unconditional love but are unable to receive it. It’s all about people mirroring back to them what they need to regulate their emotions.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 9:35 am to GeauxGutsy
quote:
This. It was in his post about power outages I urged him to delete it, obviously afterwards he realized he was most likely busted.
How was the realtor post related to him? Someone made a joke about using a particular realtor and another poster told him to delete that and he did. Her initials were LH.
Posted on 1/29/24 at 9:50 am to mikelbr
quote:
How was the realtor post related to him?
No idea-Guess I missed that one-I was skimming through.
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