re: Dear diary, tired of living (update pg 15)

Check out Rollo Tomassi on YouTube, Rational Male. He is instrumental in helping men deal with the outcomes from marital infidelity etc

You have a whole lot of life ahead of you. I wish I did. My devil was a beer can. Almost ruined everything for me but I dug deep and quit. Best move I have ever made, but I’m 63 and wish I would have stopped 25 years ago… just trying to say is that you only live once.. make the most of it…..

I wish we lived closer. I’m in Houston. I would love to meet up and talk in person as I’m around that age as well.

Brother, I'm gonna echo some things that many others have said. Trust me when I tell you change is a legitimate possibility. I was so overwhelmed with the difficulties of trying to raise my special needs son and keep peace at home with a wife that was, at the time, insanely unreasonable due to the same issues, that I simply drank myself into oblivion to "hide" from the insanity most nights, was hiding it and drunk most of the time.

We then got very surprisingly pregnant with my daughter and I legitimately saw no light at the end of the tunnel. I had multiple mental pictures of ending my life everyday. I believed it would be utterly impossible for us to function and care for another human in the situation we were in and my failure would ruin multiple lives. I was in a dark place as well.

Then after 6 months of going through the same exact same issues after my daughter was born, God spoke to me loudly enough I was finally able to clear my mind and hear.

On the same day, I got caught hiding liquor that morning, bottles I forgot to dispose of from the day before, and that afternoon I had a covid related stroke. (no symptoms but that, lol).

It's to this day the best day of my life. I decided I had to try something else, so I quit drinking and gave the family one more chance all in. My life from that one moment has done a complete 180. All of the exact same struggles that I had before are still there, but my perspective on them has completely changed. I'm blessed to have the opportunity to raise these children and help them through their difficulties.

I believe I have an idea of how deeply you believe things cannot or will not change, but from someone that's been there, I can promise you it is possible.


If there's any way possible I can help you, I'd be more than happy to.