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re: A friend of mine is getting disowned by some family members for divorcing wife that

Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:14 am to
Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
35577 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:14 am to
quote:

I couldnt imagine my wife telling me that she was so disgusted with my physical appearance that she and the kids was leaving me & I didnt do anything about it. Seems like that would be a call to action to start making some lifestyle changes.
I'm giving our possibly real guy in the OP enough credit to believe he didn't go that hard on her right out of the gate. Hopefully he tried various, more civil, approaches. Personally, 10 years, assuming she didn't start gaining weight on day one, isn't enough time for me to give up on her though.
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
66226 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:19 am to
If you can’t handle me at my most obese, you don’t deserve me at my most fit.
Posted by Mizz-SEC
Inbred Huntin' In The SEC
Member since Jun 2013
19279 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:31 am to
quote:

Sorry this is so confusing for you. Getting old and getting wrinkles is part of the normal aging process. Everyone, except apparently you, knows this and expects it. Getting addicted to drugs is NOT a normal part of the aging process and is something to be avoided.

I'm not confused in the least.

The wife of the OP's friend married a woman for superficial reasons and when got she fat he decided to kick her to the curb and dump the family over it, damn the impact on his children moving forward.

Then a segment of the board is trying to justify it by bringing false flags like drug / heroine addiction and other bullshite into the discussion to divert from the fact that Shallow Hal apparently married her based on looks alone. Lust not love.

I'm just trying to find out what other qualifiers there for what's supposed to be a lifetime committment to a faithful spouse.
Posted by shel311
McKinney, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
111288 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:35 am to
quote:

So you would bail on your wife if she became addicted to say, Percodan?
If she made no attempts to resolve this? Uhh yea, obviously.
quote:

Getting old with wrinkles? It's not what you originally bought into too, right?
Wrinkles and drug addiction, same thing.
quote:

It's ok to have married for looks, but don't try to justify dumping your family as something right to do.

If you're not sexually attracted to your spouse, and you go about it the correct way and she makes no attempts to fix it and remains unhealthy, it absolutely can be the right thing to do for some spouses.
Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
35577 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:36 am to
quote:


Then a segment of the board is trying to justify it by bringing false flags like drug / heroine addiction
Food and drug addiction have a lot in common. And neither are inevitable parts of the aging process like wrinkles.
Posted by shel311
McKinney, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
111288 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:36 am to
quote:

The wife of the OP's friend married a woman for superficial reasons and when got she fat he decided to kick her to the curb and dump the family over it, damn the impact on his children moving forward.

I like how some posters are now pretending sexual attraction had quite literally zero to do with marrying their spouses.
This post was edited on 10/30/23 at 11:37 am
Posted by Mizz-SEC
Inbred Huntin' In The SEC
Member since Jun 2013
19279 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:38 am to
quote:

Why are yall only focused on the sexual aspect here? The kind of person that completely lets themselves go even in the face of a spouse trying to snap them out of it has more issues than just gaining some weight.

I think you're giving the wife a little too much credit here with nonsense like this. There are more issues here than juts not being attracted to your partner.

Would you want your kids to stay in a terrible marriage essentially no matter what?

No shite. She could be clinically depressed and in need of psychiatric help.

All the more reason to dump her, amirite?
Posted by CR4090
Member since Apr 2023
2509 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:40 am to
Those are all things you can't control. Sitting on your butt and eating everything in the house is something you can control.

Those two scenarios are not on the same level.
Posted by shel311
McKinney, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
111288 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:45 am to
quote:

No shite. She could be clinically depressed and in need of psychiatric help.

All the more reason to dump her, amirite?
Making assumptions to prove your point is useless. It's not accomplishing what you think it is.



Maybe she's not depressed and just refusing to get in shape, now I just proved you wrong, now what?
Posted by Mizz-SEC
Inbred Huntin' In The SEC
Member since Jun 2013
19279 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:48 am to
quote:

I like how some posters are now pretending sexual attraction had quite literally zero to do with marrying their spouses.

Of course it does, but if that's all there is divorce was inevitiable.

I'm just surprised how many of y'all value your spouse like a disposable razor.
Posted by Tortious
ATX
Member since Nov 2010
5152 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:50 am to
Got to be 350 upvote!

Posted by JDPndahizzy
JDP
Member since Nov 2013
6475 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:51 am to
Well she's fixin to lose it all on the divorce diet..Get some implants with his child support too..
Posted by shel311
McKinney, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
111288 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:52 am to
quote:

Of course it does
And so if your wife gets extremely fat and makes no attempts to fix it and you're no longer sexually attracted to her, you're just gonna spend the rest of your life miserable and hating sex and eventually just never having sex any more?


And that doesn't even get into the fact that she has kids and is unhealthy and setting a bad example for them. We can get into that too, but just based on sexual attraction alone, marriages fall apart all the time due to lack of sex, it happens and it's wild to think people should just stay together forever in these situations and be miserable when the spouse is putting forth zero effort to better themselves and their marriage.
This post was edited on 10/30/23 at 11:57 am
Posted by Mizz-SEC
Inbred Huntin' In The SEC
Member since Jun 2013
19279 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:57 am to
quote:

And so if your wife gets extremely fat and makes no attempts to fix it and you're no longer sexually attracted to her, you're just gonna spend the rest of your life miserable and hating sex and eventually just never having sex any more?

And that doesn't even get into the fact that she has kids and is unhealthy and setting a bad example for them.

So how long do you give her to get her shite together? Days, months, years?

And are you kids better off seeing your "good example" every other weekend or with you there daily?

Or do they begin seeing relationships as disposable based on your life course? Hmmm.
Posted by shel311
McKinney, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
111288 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 12:00 pm to
quote:

So how long do you give her to get her shite together? Days, months, years?

People aren't robots, there isn't 1 answer for everyone. The answer is long enough for you to realize your spouse won't change no matter how hard you try. That long.
quote:

And are you kids better off seeing your "good example" every other weekend or with you there daily?
If you're miserable in your marriage, your kids are 100% better off if you get divorced and are actually happy.
quote:

Or do they begin seeing relationships as disposable based on your life course? Hmmm.
Or do they learn that being out of shape and doing nothing about it and being unhealthy is ok and perfectly fine? Hmmm....
Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
35577 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 12:01 pm to
quote:

She could be clinically depressed and in need of psychiatric help.

All the more reason to dump her amirite?
Probably is depressed. Hopefully her husband tried this route early on. If she refused treatment, then yeah, add it to the list.

I have sympathy for depressed people. I've had periods of depression and it sucks. But (and again 95% of this thread is speculation), being depressed and refusing to do anything about it does not give you license to ignore your health and personal appearance free from consequence.

But I do think he should push for treatment, if he hasn't done so, including marriage counselling, before throwing in the towel.
Posted by DarkDrifter
Louisiana
Member since Aug 2011
2948 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 12:05 pm to
Sounds like both your friend and his wife are POS's that have poor communication skills..
Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
35577 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 12:12 pm to
quote:

I'm just surprised how many of y'all value your spouse like a disposable razor.
This isn't true, but, so far you're down with your spouse being fat, depressed, mentally ill, sexually unattractive, and hooked on pain pills so the rest of us must look picky by comparison. At some point you have to have some self-respect.
Posted by cwil177
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2011
28618 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 12:13 pm to
quote:

They also had water with no crazy chemicals, butter instead of canola oil, glyphosate free food, lightly pasteurized or unpasteurized milk, natural lighting, etc. Over the past 50-100 years we really screwed up our environment

Good points all around. The US has a cultural problem around food. Europe has a much healthier food culture and they don’t have the obesity we have (europoors having to use public transport and walk a lot also helps I’m sure). Europeans don’t have the gym culture we have here. You don’t see many gyms there and in some countries (Italy) you actually have to go see a doctor to get permission to work out

If you look at all the factors that influence weight in modern society food ranks #1 on the list and exercise is way down at #10 (I heard this on a medical nutrition podcast and it really stuck with me, but don’t ask me to find the source).
Posted by AlterDWI
Durango, Colorado
Member since Nov 2012
2234 posts
Posted on 10/30/23 at 12:17 pm to
Haha yeah you put up with alot of shite for the sake of your kids. Its part of the job description.

Everyone has skipped over the question of how this guy is helping his family by living in the hood across town & being an absentee father. He says he's happier so I guess thats all that matters.
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