- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: A friend of mine is getting disowned by some family members for divorcing wife that
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:52 am to LNCHBOX
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:52 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
You hold the whale to this same standard or no?
That's my entire point. I'm accepting that the fat wife is doing that, but that his responsive actions are doing the same thing so it completely undermines any argument that he's taking a high road here.
3
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:53 am to Pettifogger
quote:
any argument that he's taking a high road here.
Who's arguing this again?
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:53 am to Fun Bunch
quote:That's a looooong time.
But I’d just keep working on her to get healthy the rest of our lives.
I get the argument to wait out the kids turning 18, I simply don't get the argument to wait it out your entire life.
Sex and generally being attracted to your spouse is absolutely critical in a marriage. If your wife was, say, 130lbs when you married and is now 230lbs, I can certainly understand having zero physical attraction to her any more. And from there, I can understand not wanting to remain with that person any longer. And for the record, that's a heck of a lot different than our 50 year old, 270lb, bald OT posters replying how they would NEVER put up with their wives gaining weight.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:53 am to Smoke7024
quote:
I never said that
AAAhhhh, damnit, I misread
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:54 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
That's a nice way of not answering the question.
Ok, if I am in a marriage with a succubus and it's just untenable, I would probably at some point consider making a change.
But ultimately I'd want my kids to recall that I'd tried for years to hold our family together, and to love their mom despite her abhorrent behavior (or whatever the toxicity was) before I even considered a scenario where I wouldn't see them every night.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:54 am to Pettifogger
quote:Somewhat. My larger point is that 100 lbs of extra weight can lead to completely incompatible interests and lifestyles. Hats off to you guys that are willing to live in loveless marriages with someone you know longer have anything in common with for the sake of the kids but I'm not convinced that kids are better off being raised in a home where the parents don't even like each other anymore.
Right, your point is that it's something bigger, shows disrespect for him, for the kids, and that prioritization of one's health and well-being is important and supersedes simply wanting to have sex with one's wife.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:54 am to AlterDWI
I'd probably stay miserable until the kids went to college, then GTFO. But, by that point, you may not care about sex that much, anyway.
I have a friend in this scenario. He was a
in his single days. To his credit, he has stuck with her, but has chose to be a raging alcoholic to deal with it.
I have a friend in this scenario. He was a
in his single days. To his credit, he has stuck with her, but has chose to be a raging alcoholic to deal with it.Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:55 am to Pettifogger
quote:
But ultimately I'd want my kids to recall that I'd tried for years to hold our family together, and to love their mom despite her abhorrent behavior (or whatever the toxicity was) before I even considered a scenario where I wouldn't see them every night.
Well going off what we "know" he's tried to deal with this for years already.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:55 am to Pettifogger
quote:So if she simply refuses to change, what is he supposed to do...be miserable for the rest of his life?
That's my entire point. I'm accepting that the fat wife is doing that,
F that.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:56 am to northshorebamaman
quote:
Somewhat. My larger point is that 100 lbs of extra weight can lead to completely incompatible interests and lifestyles. Hats off to you guys that are willing to live in loveless marriages with someone you know longer have anything in common with for the sake of the kids but I'm not convinced that kids are better off being raised in a home where the parents don't even like each other anymore.
I don't really view it as a choice but that's an entirely different discussion.
I understand your position.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:57 am to tigafan4life
quote:
Having kids does a number on our bodies and while some women can bounce back the majority can’t
So why do we now have an obesity epidemic in America when we didn’t decades ago? What changed that made the majority of women not able to bounce back after having children when they used to do just fine as a whole? Could it have anything to do with laziness and poor eating habits? A very, very small percentage of people have such awful genetics or some sort of disorder that makes it almost impossible to not be overweight but the vast, vast majority of people are just lazy and eat like shite and make these bullshite excuses to feel better because they are disgusted with themselves.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:57 am to Pettifogger
quote:I don't believe I've ever argued he's taking the high road.
argument that he's taking a high road here.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:57 am to JohnnyKilroy
quote:If you and your wife are in a miserable marriage, the kids know that. No one is happy in a household like that.
Yea lmao.
People all indignant over the wife getting fat, meanwhile the only info we really have about the guy’s motivations is that he wants to frick some slimmer trim.
Totally justifiable reason to split up your family and be in your kids lives a whole lot less.
The idea that divorce is always worse for the children is pretty silly as that is not true.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:58 am to Smoke7024
quote:
He probably has some disdain for her since she appears to be too lazy to take care of herself for herself and her family. I'm not saying he's right for leaving, but it isn't all on him. She doesn't care enough to save the marriage either.
I have the sneaky suspicion there’s a lot more going on there (especially from his end) than she’s just fat.
It’s a good question as to why she’s quit caring enough to be healthy, particularly when she has kids.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 10:59 am to shel311
I mean we have such limited info on what the guy has done.
Has he done anything beyond making fun of her for being fat or calling her a disgusting pig? Who knows?
The only thing OP has revealed is that his family members believe that he has fat shamed her. If that’s all he’s done and now he’s ready to divorce and leave her as a single mom to two kids then that’s weak af.
Has he done anything beyond making fun of her for being fat or calling her a disgusting pig? Who knows?
The only thing OP has revealed is that his family members believe that he has fat shamed her. If that’s all he’s done and now he’s ready to divorce and leave her as a single mom to two kids then that’s weak af.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:02 am to JohnnyKilroy
quote:This is true
I mean we have such limited info on what the guy has done.
The husband in this scenario definitely should be exhausting all options at his disposal and leaving as a last resort. But yea, if he's legit fat shaming her, and if he's doing this, pretty good chance he does it in front of the kids too, then it definitely changes how one would view the situation.
quote:Agreed
The only thing OP has revealed is that his family members believe that he has fat shamed her. If that’s all he’s done and now he’s ready to divorce and leave her as a single mom to two kids then that’s weak af.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:05 am to JohnnyKilroy
Yeah theres something else going on that OP's friend hasnt told him.
I couldnt imagine my wife telling me that she was so disgusted with my physical appearance that she and the kids was leaving me & I didnt do anything about it. Seems like that would be a call to action to start making some lifestyle changes.
I couldnt imagine my wife telling me that she was so disgusted with my physical appearance that she and the kids was leaving me & I didnt do anything about it. Seems like that would be a call to action to start making some lifestyle changes.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:07 am to LSU Warren
I haven't read through the entire thread, and I probably won't either.
How much did the husband weigh. Was he a healthy bmi, etc.
What was his attempts to get her to lose weight?
If all he did was tell her, "you're so fat now. I can't have sex with you when you look so disgusting. Stop eating so much and maybe I'll be more attracted to you". Then yea, that's not going to work. He has himself to blame.
If he told her, "hey baby, I would love for you to join me in my fitness journey. I've been trying to lose 30 pounds to get back to my college size. Do you want to join me in the gym, we can motivate each other?
Or maybe, "I want us to make better eating decisions. I want both of us to live into our late 80s so we can see our kids and grandkids grow up. Let's be a good example to our kids on how to eat healthy."
The latter would be better options on if you wanted your spouse to lose weight.
How much did the husband weigh. Was he a healthy bmi, etc.
What was his attempts to get her to lose weight?
If all he did was tell her, "you're so fat now. I can't have sex with you when you look so disgusting. Stop eating so much and maybe I'll be more attracted to you". Then yea, that's not going to work. He has himself to blame.
If he told her, "hey baby, I would love for you to join me in my fitness journey. I've been trying to lose 30 pounds to get back to my college size. Do you want to join me in the gym, we can motivate each other?
Or maybe, "I want us to make better eating decisions. I want both of us to live into our late 80s so we can see our kids and grandkids grow up. Let's be a good example to our kids on how to eat healthy."
The latter would be better options on if you wanted your spouse to lose weight.
This post was edited on 10/30/23 at 11:10 am
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:10 am to AlterDWI
quote:
I couldnt imagine my wife telling me that she was so disgusted with my physical appearance that she and the kids was leaving me & I didnt do anything about it. Seems like that would be a call to action to start making some lifestyle changes.
Ehhh, obviously we don't know. But if it's gotten this bad there's a good chance he's been treating her like shite for awhile now. Unless she was fat most of her life and only thinned up prior to meeting him, had kids, got fat again, she's probably not happy about it either. I can only assume he treats her badly, she's a woman, most of them don't "MAN UP" she feels disguested with herself, busy raising kids while he fat shames her, and she just doesn't care anymore. If that's the case the mom and kids would be better off for him to just leave for good anyways.
Or she's just lazy as frick, getting fat on purpose and he's been the greatest husband and dad in the world for the last 10 years, pulling the load for the family 100%, who knows.
Posted on 10/30/23 at 11:14 am to Mushroom1968
quote:
she's just lazy as frick, getting fat on purpose and he's been the greatest husband and dad in the world for the last 10 years, pulling the load for the family 100%, who knows
Doubtful. Likely, he doesnt love her or never did & this is his excuse to skip out on his family. OP said he's way happier being broke by himself in a shitty apartment than being with the family he created. Pretty telling imo.
Page 21 of 26
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News