How does one be a non-neurotic soccer dad?

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Advice?

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Let the kid have fun.

He's having fun. He could GAF what I say out there. My wife...not so much. Me...not so much.

I want to enjoy it more. My wife and I played competitive tennis growing up, and though the matches lasted longer, the cadence of soccer makes it tough to focus on one or two touches or a move off of the ball that didn't work out (in tennis that's exactly what you focus on). If you do, you end up being negative...like I'm fessing up to being. I'm frustrated with the other players, I'm frustrated with coaching...but it ends up manifesting itself in me being frustrated with my son's play. I know it's tough on him, impossible at times...but for my sanity he's the only one I get worked up over.

Maybe I just need to chill the F out and just enjoy the moments I get with him.

Try to take the match as a whole. As you pointed out, soccer is not a sport of perfection. There will be miss-hits. There will be runs that go unnoticed or unmade. Work on taking those in stride. Then, after the match and back in the car, ask him how he thought he played and let him point out his own mistakes. It sounds like he's a pretty smart player for his level of competition and age. As long as he's close in his self-assessment, see if you can leave it at that. No need for him to remember and dwell on every little miscue.

As a high school coach, I'll add one more thing. Talk to the coach, no matter what level he's playing, and just discuss what the coach wants from your son. Don't go into trying to change the coach's mind, but use the chance to help unify the messages your son is hearing. One of the worst parts of being a coach is hearing parents yell things that are totally counterproductive to what we have set the team up to do. Having a unified message from dad and coach will help him avoid indecision.

Is this a traveling club team or the kids recreation league down at the Y? Because if it’s the latter, I have bad news for you...

Yell at the coach when ur kid doesn't start.

Also, in close games, yell profanities at ref when he misses a call. Too bad the ref is 15 and doing it for free, curse at him!

It's travel, and he plays in his birth year. We play very few really quality teams though. Even the best teams in LA and MS don't rank very high in the region and country.

I want him to do well because it's something he loves. I want to see him succeed at everything he puts his mind to.

I really want him to be a DJ, the kind with a residency at some Greek island hotel...

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How does one be a great soccer dad?

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Adopt Ezequiel Barco.

The parent's most important job is to back off. Let the coach be the coach.

I've read your posts, and to be honest with you, I'm in a similar situation. My son is the biggest and fastest kid on his team, and has developed really good skills. He plays all positions on the field except keeper, he's a great athlete, and the coach relies on him to carry his team and direct the other players during the game. Sometimes they win, sometimes they get beat, and he usually has to deal with a few hot-dogs on the team who weaken the team because they can't grasp the concept of the team playing the full pitch. That becomes a teaching moment for the parent - after the game is over. It's his sport, not mine, so l let him do his thing, and try to reinforce his understanding of sportsmanship and his role on the field as defined by the coach.

He and the other players don't "listen" to parents on the sidelines, but they do hear their comments. Parents on the sidelines should never insert themselves into the game, especially if the team has a strong coach.

I've made a concerted effort to only tell him to stretch before the game to avoid injury, play aggressive, be a coach on the field (at his coach's direction) and have fun. He's playing against older kids, so I make it clear that he has to be the the most aggressive player on the field, but to do it cleanly. I let him play his game - but it's important to not be overbearing... He's a kid, and I treat him like a parent should treat their child. I'm hard on him at times, and other times l choose to back off. I do point out his good plays, and I try to point out any mistakes he makes in a positive light. And in the past year, I've had to grow as a parent and let him make his own decisions regarding traveling for regional developmental teams.

He's an absolute stud in his age and grade, and as dominant as he is in sports at 13 years old, I expect him to play multiple sports in college. Intramural soccer, intramural basketball, intramural softball, you name it, he'll play it, and he'll have a blast. I have zero expectations for him to play any sport beyond that, because he's a young teenager and student trying to learn how to navigate his teen years. Sports are important for our family, but we make it clear that family, church, friends and education come before sports. Not always easy, but those things will still be there when youth sports end.

Trust me in this - youth sports is a mess, I've been down that road with both my kids. My job as a parent, in regards to sports, is to place him with a good coach, if possible, support him, teach him when the opportunity presents itself, and ensure he can respect my actions, now and years down the road when he looks back on his experience as a teenager growing into a man and has kids of his own. Team sports are great for kids to learn how to deal with their peers, regardless of their talent level, and to translate that experience to their everyday life.

That should be the end game of any parent.