Trump Stuns Pope Funeral Attendees With Breathtaking Rendition Of 'Ave Maria'

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VATICAN CITY — In a stirring tribute to Pope Francis, President Donald Trump took to the microphone during the pontiff's funeral services and stunned attendees by singing a gorgeous, captivating a capella rendition of "Ave Maria."

Following the eulogy, Trump rose from his seat and announced to the attendees that he'd prepared something special for the occasion. "I'm going to sing, and it's going to be magnificent," Trump told the audience. "I was going to sing 'Roar' by that Katy Perry woman, but Melania said, 'No, Donny. Don't do that. Sing that other one, the one that they sing in churches.' So I am going to sing 'Ave Maria' for all you good people here. This one's for you, Francis."

President Trump then broke into song, leaving the crowd in rapturous awe of his rich baritone voice and exquisite vibrato. Onlookers stood with their mouths hanging open, astonished at Trump's perfect command of Latin, soaring high register, and deeply emotional performance. Famed Italian opera singer Andrea Bocelli was seen weeping in the pews, overcome by the sheer beauty of the music.

"That's how it's done," said Trump upon finishing the final note, tossing the microphone to a cardinal.

At publishing time, Trump also announced he would recite from memory all the words to the Dr. Suess book "Oh The Places You'll Go" in honor of the deceased Pope, much to the delight of those gathered in attendance.

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