re: Son, age 10, on scheduled agenda to eventually be chemically casterated

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First in A county outside Dallas county to the north where my now ex files for divorce even though our residence was well established in Cypress.

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The Family Code lets a litigant file for divorce in any county in which (s)he has resided for 90 days, provided that (s)he has resided in Texas for six month.

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She had stayed with her mother for 6 weeks (weeks not months) helping with a supposed health issue

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When you suspected what she was doing, it would have been a good idea for you to file preemptively in Harris County, but hindsight is 20:20.

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When I had my attorney file for the venue correction to Harris County the judge stated “she has 40 days of the required number. We can either proceed now here or wait the remaining days and pick it up then”.

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Yeah, you don't really move to transfer a divorce case in that situation. The procedure is to request an abatement of the pending case until the ninety days run. In the interim, YOU could have filed in Harris County and argued that your case took precedence since it was filed in a venue which was correct at the time of filing. Then quickly did a lot of work (discovery, etcetera) to establish that the Harris County case had already progressed before the Dallas-area case could commence.

I had success with that approach a couple of times, but it does not always work.

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The second is in Dallas county (I had the case moved to Dallas county later with her agreement since we both lived in Irving) where the court allowed her to move from here to out of state with the kids because she chose to marry a guy from out of state. I was going to spend 10s of thousands to fight it but the judge straight up told my attorney behind closed doors I was going to lose in the end

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A judge is almost never going to refuse to allow a party to move (even out of state), but you COULD have moved for a modification to have yourself named PMC. Was your attorney working that approach when the judge told you that you were going to lose? You could also have sought a modification to have her pay monthly travel costs, between her new home and your come in Dallas County.

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But back to your original point, which started this discussion:

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The deck is so fricking stacked against dads the dude could be Ward fricking Cleaver and still lose his parental rights.

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It does NOT sound remotely as if your parental rights were terminated.