re: I have never felt more powerless in all of my life

While you and I never agree on anything......I am very saddened to hear about your mother's plight. That said...there are many charities out there. There are also many ways to raise money.

My zone partner at my sheriff's office is going through treatments.....we have raised money through BBQ sales, blood drives, etc..etc..

I hope that you and your family are able to enjoy your time with her, and receive some help from your community.

Rob, my father passed away 3 years ago from kidney cancer. IT was discovered after it had already spread unfortunately. He had good insurance and the drugs were very expensive as you have stated. Kidney cancer is actually more rare than most cancers.

The one big mistake we made was taking out his kidney. The decision was made even though the doctor said there was a small chance it would help. What happened was it pretty much grounded my father for the balance of his life. Before the surgery he was very active even though he was in pain. He did his thing (race horse training etc) every day. And after he really never recovered from the pain of the surgery and healing. So I agree with what another poster said that it wont help taking it out.

The dr was very accurate in projecting his life expectancy also. Hopefully the drugs to treat this have gotten better. I feel for you and prayers are with you.

My father was a member of the 58 NC team at LSU. He was an old school tough guy which ended up contributing to his demise as he ignored and took the pain before one incident made him go to the hospital. It was discovered at that time that it spread thru his body. Sorry for the long email but it brought back some memories. Prayers sent once again. The drugs did help extend his life so keep trying

my mom had breast cancer 10 yrs ago, thankfully that went smoothly.

still any parent with cancer still makes life uneasy

best of luck, rob

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hen she got the diagnosis we moved her to Michigan with my brother who happens to married to a nurse who works at a cancer research facility

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U of M, I'm guessing right.

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Sorry to hear about your Mom. Sad also that you refuse to acknowledge God, who could provide you comfort, if not healing for her. Pleased that so many offer their prayers despite your ridicule of such things.

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You are lacking a key ingredient to your faith---love, which, among many other things,"does not brag, does not behave haughtily".... "believes all things, and hopes all things."(1Corinthians chapter 13)

Love would not use a time like this to berate another for their beliefs, and would simply hope for the best for anyone of any faith since the God of all comfort is capable of anything

What Mike said

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Sad also that you refuse to acknowledge God

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Cin, I believe Rob has said that his mother has faith in God.

To Rob, this is the time in your mother's life where her faith is probably most important.

Now, I may come off as a little disrespectful, and to be honest, when I've come to the board with similar stories regarding our current health care system, and my father's experience just prior to his death of cancer 8 years ago, I am usually met with skepticism, ridicule and name calling. So please forgive me if I am unsure when to show, and how much respect to show on this miserable board, but here it is:

Your mother is going to die. You are going to die. We are all in this together, and none of us are going to get out of it alive. The best we can hope for is a long and fulfilling life with dignity at the end. That said, it's your mother's faith right now that may be the best way for her to cope with the problems she's facing and allow her to face the end of her life with calm and dignity. It's people around your mother such as yourself that show strength of character and respect, and help her to figure out what she wants and help her to get what she wants right now, along with her faith, that will help her achieve that calm and dignity.

My own mother is at the end of her life now as she will be turning 78 next month and has started to show signs of Alzheimer's/dementia. As I allow my mother to decide what she wants for herself as much as possible so I can help her achieve it, her condition is starting to make that more problematic. Occasionally I see panic in her eyes and I know it's because she's realizing what's happening in her life right now. It's my job to ease that sense of panic as much as possible by being there for her and helping her get what she wants for herself.

But as our parents die, we are left as the elders to the next generations. There's a loneliness that comes with that position. There are no more elders for us to turn to, we are the elders the young turn to. And just as our parents went through this at one point in their lives, we too will be going through what our mothers are going through right now.

There are hard decisions ahead. The question of, "But what's best for Mom?" may gradually turn to, "What's best for the survivors?" That's normal and doesn't make anyone a monster. Your mother wants to know that when she dies, her progeny is secure.

And this is where the free market in our health care system fails me. To have to wonder, "How much is it worth to keep Mom alive?" is a question we should never have to ask, but our current system forces upon us. It's not your fault. But perhaps this is where I am crossing the line into a discussion for another time/thread.

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Sad also that you refuse to acknowledge God, who could provide you comfort, if not healing for her. Pleased that so many offer their prayers despite your ridicule of such things.


c'mon man

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Agreed, SpartyGator. This thread is to support Rob. Please don't use this thread to mock, ridicule or take not-so-subtle jabs at his beliefs.

Try to put yourself in his shoes. I doubt seriously you'd want someone mocking you if your mom was in this situation.

Again, prayers sent for Rob's mom, Rob, and his entire family.

Rob,

I read in an earlier post where you've apparently said that your Mother is a woman of faith. I wouldn't have posted this earlier, but knowing that I'm attaching a link to the audio teachings of a man whom I have followed for years. I can tell you that he's 100% sincere, and if your Mom is interested, I would suggest that she listen to his series entitled, "God Wants You Well."

LINK

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, I am the Rob backup now that even my mom is turning to

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I don't mean to load more on your back Rob, but as I am an individual who holds perspective from that of Faith, and being that you've stated that your mother is also...you might want to consider this.

As you well know, most all people of faith are moved to *share* their belief. I.e., convince you to share it too. You have stood your ground and argued the psychological motivation quite well; however, in your/this particular instance, you MAY want and choose to be more charitable.

I don't know what you've said to your mother in the debates where you "develop your skills" (low level that they are )...but I can tell you this. It would be a wonderful gift to your mother if you were to inform her that her Faith testimony/debate with you...has opened at the least, your heart to such belief. Not that you have to surrender rationality...but simply that you give her the gift of knowing that she influenced you in that direction. And that you will remain open, in her memory.

I know I'm on the edge. But I can bear witness that real people of faith, really care about how their loved ones believe. They think it is for all the marbles. Next life stuff. We can argue the gray areas all day long, and we do. But a simple few words of charity in this instance, might work wonders.

Tell your mom for me that she raised quite an independent and solid character as son; good job. She don't have to take credit for the a-hole part.

love you buddy.