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re: A Generation of Lost Boys

Posted on 6/11/20 at 10:42 am to
Posted by Flats
Member since Jul 2019
21748 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 10:42 am to
quote:

This is a theory I’ve heard before and it makes lots of sense. In past generations, kids grew up in homes that didn’t have much.


There’s some of that going on, but most of it comes down to values and the wisdom needed to pass those values on. Sounds like OP’s brother had the former but not the latter. You’ve got to have both.

You can be poor and raise kids perfectly content to steal and/or live off the dole, and you can have money and raise them to appreciate it and the hard work it requires. Income doesn’t lock your kids into anything, the values you impart do that.

And that’s not to say if you do everything right you’re guaranteed an outcome. Kids become adults and they make their own choices. But you can greatly increase the odds that you’ll be happy with those choices.
Posted by LCA131
Home of the Fake Sig lines
Member since Feb 2008
72597 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 10:45 am to
quote:

My brother and my dad got into a verbal screaming match


When it comes to screaming matches, verbal ones are the best.
Posted by Big Scrub TX
Member since Dec 2013
33403 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 10:50 am to
quote:

I am a late GenXer that had a brother 14 years older than me. He is a SVP at an international company. Our parents barely graduated high school.

I always had him to look up to. By the time I was in high school, his career was taking off, but he always made time for me. When I was in college, he would regularly meet me halfway for dinner, and slip me a $100 bill now and then because he knew I didn't make a lot of money in college.

His son, my nephew is 23 years old. He went to Samford, got a marketable degree with zero debt. He graduated over a year ago and refuses to move out of his parents' home. He won't apply for a job. He won't apply to graduate school. His parents bought him a luxury vehicle that he never drives. If he doesn't like what is cooked in the home, he throws a tantrum and my sister in law goes and gets him Taco Bell.

He has never had a meaningful relationship, he's addicted to porn and video games. My brother, who mentored me into a successful life, has allowed his own son to be like this. Which begs the question, has this happened en masse with this generation of young men?

My hypothesis on my nephew is that he grew up in such luxury that he does not want to leave his home of origin. But after seeing the 20 somethings and the way they are acting during these protests, I think its bigger. We completely failed this generation of young men.
Sounds like they've ruined your nephew, but I still think this whole thing is overstated. What did boomers think of the same aged people in 1967? They thought the world was ending. And yet, they were on the cusp of the greatest sustained period of human flourishment in the history of the world.
Posted by AU86
Member since Aug 2009
22370 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 10:50 am to
quote:

When he was maybe 11 or 12, he didn't get what he wanted for Christmas. He threw a plate across the room. My dad got up and said some choice words and my sister in law took my nephew and left. My brother and my dad got into a verbal screaming match which ended with my brother saying "You upset my wife, now I have to deal with it."


Sounds to me like your sister in law wears the pants in the family. She has created a spoiled brat and your brother is too Damn weak to stop it. Instead he condones it.
Posted by ShoeBang
Member since May 2012
19356 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 10:50 am to
quote:

Nah. You didn't build that. It was all "white privilege"


I know you say this in jest but I could have used some of that fabled white privilege while sleeping in a tent in the woods and showering at work before everyone else got there.
Posted by TDcline
American Gardens building 11th flor
Member since Aug 2015
9281 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 10:54 am to
Posted by walley tux
DFW
Member since May 2020
794 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 11:00 am to
quote:

He had decent grades and ACT score and graduated with honors (albeit barely) from Samford. He is lazy and has never had to work for anything.



i used to believe you got the kids you raise and i still do for the most part, but there is a certain element to kids like it or not, the kids are like a box of chocolate you never know what you're gonna get factor.

i don't think mary and joseph could have done any better than my sister and her husband with their oldest daughter.
Posted by Nigel Farage
South of the Mason-Dixon
Member since Dec 2019
1210 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 11:15 am to
quote:

I think it mostly all comes down to social media. It’s poisoned us.



I think this is a big part but also a lot of men are just checking out on society right now. We get constantly bombarded about our toxic masculinity and our privilege and how we are all evil. The constant dehumanization of men eventually takes its toll and you just say "frick this shite, I hope you all burn."

I think as another user pointed out that porn and dating apps have destroyed modern dating. All the women flock to the top percent leaving most men to grovel over the scraps.So these guys get left with toxic women whos minds have also been poisoned by the media and social media and you just dont want to deal with shitty women. Thats kind of where I am, Im not afraid of dating but so many of the women I have gone out with have turned out to be utter garbage and I know my experiences with modern dating are far from unique. A lot of us would rather let the system eat itself alive (as it is doing right now) and fall in on itself and try to rebuild later.

I grew up loving this country and everything about it, I cant say the same right now as I see myself staring down the leftwing barrel.
Posted by LB84
Member since May 2016
3348 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 11:22 am to
quote:

I think this is a big part but also a lot of men are just checking out on society right now. We get constantly bombarded about our toxic masculinity and our privilege and how we are all evil. The constant dehumanization of men eventually takes its toll and you just say "frick this shite, I hope you all burn."


There has been a war on straight, white, American men for at least 15 years. I remember seeing heavy doses about "white man bad" in high school and college. My wife even spouts off about it sometimes.
Posted by Taxing Authority
Houston
Member since Feb 2010
57208 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 11:33 am to
quote:

I know you say this in jest but I could have used some of that fabled white privilege while sleeping in a tent in the woods and showering at work before everyone else got there.

Yeah. I lived in my car for a few weeks several times in college. I too missed out on all this "privilege". I guess my parents forgot to sign me up for it?
Posted by Taxing Authority
Houston
Member since Feb 2010
57208 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 11:36 am to

quote:

There has been a war on straight, white, American men for at least 15 years.
Goes back longer than that.
Posted by Wally Sparks
Atlanta
Member since Feb 2013
29151 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 11:38 am to
quote:

before you say anything, him at 23 is not a millennial.



He's borderline (the cutoff are those born around 1996-97)
Posted by NIH
Member since Aug 2008
112610 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 11:46 am to
There are a lot of blue collar kids from my hometown that fit OP‘s story. It’s not some college kid phenomenon. These kids went to trade school or got an offshore job, still live at home (at nearly 30) and spend all of their money on boats and trucks.

Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
422393 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 11:55 am to
i felt kind of bad after posting in this thread and going to the M/TV board and reading about an $800 sound bar
Posted by Bronson2017
Birmingham
Member since Feb 2019
1908 posts
Posted on 6/11/20 at 12:21 pm to
quote:

I think a lot of kids really think the world works like the Drake song "Started from the bottom, and here we are"


Really showing your age with this one haha

But I agree completely. I am 27 and I have two old high school friends that are still in school and have never had a job. To me that’s insane, I had a job fresh out of high school and I still felt behind. One of them had the audacity to say he expects to make around $70k once he graduates this summer....in rural Alabama.

A lot of people have no clue what’s coming for them and then when they eventually find out you get what we are seeing in Seattle. No guidance. My old man got on my nerves growing up but I would not be where I am now without him being on my arse most of my life.
This post was edited on 6/11/20 at 12:22 pm
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