Subject: Written by Duck fan after loss

My bother sent me this. SIAP - did a search!

Fowl Chronicles 9:27-40

And behold, before me I saw a pale horse. And on its back rode a man clothed in fine purple and gold. And in his left hand he carried two scales.

And behind the horse and rider were a great army of men. All of them exceedingly large, wearing armor, prepared for a great battle, and adorned in purple and gold.

And behold, the rider of the pale horse shone like that of Les Miles. And I saw writing on his robe and pants. On his left leg were the words, "Defense Wins Games". And on his right leg were the words "Special Teams Wins Championships". And he forbade me to write down that which was written across his chest.

And then with a mighty thunder, the man on the horse and his mighty army stopped in front of me. And he said unto me, "Do you know why I have come?" I said, "Yes, sir. I do." He said, "Tell me." And I trembled, "You have come to judge the Pac-12."

And he said, "And what did I find?" I told him I could not say it. So he said, "I have weighed them, and found them wanting." At this, I began to weep.

Then the rider on the pale horse and all his army turned away to whence they came. And I began to cry, and lo, I shouted for him on the horse to stop. And at his command the whole mighty army stopped. I ran to him and begged, "Please, at least let me look upon it. For it may be my only chance. Have mercy." And with a nod, a mighty entourage came forward carrying a golden vault. And it was opened for me to see. And behold, I saw the crystal football. And underneath it were written the words "The National Champion--Louisiana State University--2007". With this, I again began to weep.

And as they departed, the rider on the horse asked me one more question. He said, "Knowest thou why some call me the Mad Hatter?" I said, "Yes, sir. I believe I do." And he said, "Me neither."

And with that, the pale horse, his rider and army left me. And the valley floor shook until they were out of sight, going back to a land where much greater battles are fought.