re: Weekend Plans Thread 4/20-4/22

I need to come trash one of those parties

One of my good buddies went with one of my gf's friends who needed a date last semester. Needless to say he won't be invited back. They were not amused with us

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I need to come trash one of those parties

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and grab a drank at frederick's.

I was just messing with ya

I was going to Oklahoma to help clean up the storm damage from all the tornados that ravaged the area a week or so ago. But as I was about to leave I got a call from my buddy Louie (not his real name) that needed help. Louie was fishing on the Bon Idee when he heard some cries for help coming from the bank. He cranked up and motored over to where all the commotion was a found an obese black lady that had a 5 gal bucket stuck to her arse. He got up on the bank and tried to remove it, but to no avail. That’s when he called me. I get to the scene and survey to situation. By this time the lady is laid over on her side and the bucket is sticking out sideways. I introduce myself and she tells me her name is Pearl. I try to calm Pearl down and tell her everything is gonna be alright. Me and Louie then both get on the bucket and try to pull it off. The damn thing must have 8”-10” of arse cheek wedged inside of it. It don’t budge. The only thing I know to do then is use the boat to help pull. I get Louie in the boat, and get my tow strap out of the truck. I tie one end of the strap to the front of the boat and fasten a half-hitch around the bucket. I can see the skepticism/terror in the eyes of Pearl. She starts to protest, and even attempts to whack me with her 16 ft cane pole. I dodge the blow, and tell Louie to nail it. He does. The slack tightens in the tow rope and the motor roars. For a few seconds we’re at a stalemate and I think the strap may break or the motor may blow. “Oh LAWD, Oh LAWD!” Pearl screams. Finally I can hear the suction break on the bucket. The next thing I knew the bucket flies off at about mock 3 and nails Louie in the head. He’s either knocked out cold or dead, I can’t rightly tell. Pearl is on the bank yelling “Free at last, Free at last!”. I try to remain calm. I finally get Pearl to shut the frick up and get Louie’s lifeless body loaded into the truck. He’s breathing, thank God. I rush him to the emergency room. After an hour or so the doctor comes out to talk to me. Female Dr. OT 9.4, IRL 13. Smoking arse hot. Apparently Louie had come to in there and told her about all my heroics. She is in awe and invites my to dinner. We had a great time. This weekend she’s taking my to her ranch in Montana and we’re gonna do some fly fishing. She wasn’t sure if the Rainbows were doing it yet, but said we should catch hundreds of Browns. Should be a good time.

OB classic

Did you take him to the Raytown hospital? If so its a wonder he's alive

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Raytown vet

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FIFY

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Female Dr.

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Eh, she's probably a feminist.