re: WSJ "Article" Blames men for dating problems.

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There is no easy fix.

One place to start is that we have to stop building up egos. Society needs a dose of honesty.

People need to hold realistic expectations and have truly honest opinions of themselves.

Take myself, as an example.

As far as physical looks go, I am probably a 6 at best. Hell, I’ll take average.

I am short, which would almost immediately disqualify me on nearly every dating app. Thankfully, I met my wife before this insanity.

The world seems to believe being honest with one’s self is detrimental and destructive, while the opposite is true.

We need to crush the idea of “you are special”, except in cases where an individual is actually special.

The majority of the world is in the range of “average”. For some moronic reason, we have demonized “average”. That needs to change.

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The other thing that needs to be crushed is this idea of women expecting men to "have their sh*t together". On the surface it's not an unrealistic expectation but it's more code for "as a man you better be perfect and meet all my crazy requirements". It's also ironic because the women who say this are typically women who don't have their own sh*t together.

Women to Men: "You better have your sh*t together".
Also women to men: "You need to accept me for who I am, flaws and all".

It's a complete double standard. It's okay to want a man who has a decent life and knows what he wants but it's not realistic to expect a man to be perfect. Life is never perfect and we are always battling something in our lives.

The vast majority of men and women are average (hence why it's called average) which means they are not going to be perfect and are not going to "have their sh*t together in every single aspect of their life". Like most people they will be working towards what they want their life to be.

Back in the day women didn't expect perfection and understood life wasn't always going to be perfect. Women understood life was going to have challenges (job loss, medical issues, family issues, etc.) but the important thing was they would face those challenges together. So many young women now genuinely just want everything and they want it now with absolutely no sacrifice. They never want to have to deal with any life challenges or difficulties.

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Just be aware that the issue you'll have there is being in different stages of life. You might have different goals or plans. Sometimes it'll be hard to relate. As with everything, pros and cons my friend.

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Agreed. And when I say date younger I'm not saying as a 39 year old I'm trying to date 21 and 22 year old women. In general I would say my dating range is 25 - 37 with my preferred range probably being 27 - 35. Old enough to be out of their college years and into their adult lives, more mature than most college age women but still with a genuinely youthful spirit.

Do you think my age range is appropriate? I know some people would say I should be open to dating women closer to my age and even potentially older than me. I'm not necessarily against that but for the most part I simply don't find myself attracted to women my age and older. I also worry again that with women my age and older my lack of relationship experience becomes a much bigger red flag. Perhaps I'm overthinking the whole thing.

I did not interpret the article to blame men for dating problems as much as it posed the possible correlation of online interactions that intensify or create a personality of anger/rage more than it does to provide community or solidarity for men.


anywhere in life, you'll have asshats and douchebags- male and female. and I think people also look for excuses to justify their piss-poor behavior rather than just doing better.

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Only in America, and in most Western countries .


A (relatively) easy solution that myself and many, many other guys have figured out- becuase dating in America is irretrievably broken- is to spend a few hundred bucks and get ur arse on a plane to places Ike S America, Central America, Asia etc.. for vacation, or even to live… When you arrive in one of those countries, the upper hand, or “The Hand” they referred to it on Seinfeld immediately flips from young, hot women in America- to white, Western guys (even older guys) in other countries .. Why ? Simple supply and demand, and hypergamy… they know that we generally make way more money than most guys in their country, even if we are middle class in America.. plus, since we are white and not Hispanic or Asian, they think we are handsome b/c we look more like what they see on movies /TV.. and they are not nearly as hung up on age as American women who go on incessantly about what is “age appropriate .”

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I've heard of men doing this and I do think the idea has it's merits. The problem though is what do you do when you find this Hispanic or Asian woman?

Do you bring them back to the U.S.? How do you know they really love you and are not just using you for a green card? Also if you bring them back to the U.S. they are then going to start to be westernized. Wait until they get some women friends here in the U.S. Before you know it they are fully westernized and probably only slightly better than the typical western woman.

I've always felt like the only way this works is if go all in, find a Hispanic or Asian woman and move to that country. That way they maintain their traditional values and aren't corrupted by western women and western society.

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As a 39 year old man if I were to date a woman in their late 30's or early 40's I'm guessing their expectation would be I would've already been in probably 5 - 7 significant relationships in my lifetime. If I tell them "yeah I've only been in 2 significant relationships and I haven't been in a serious relationship is over 10 years" I feel like that will be multiple huge red flags for them and will be used against me.

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Jesus Christ man, you think women are telling you the truth about their pasts ?? TELL THEM WAHT THEY WANT TO HEAR…. You have to make urself look good; after youve been with her a while then you can be more honest if you want .. i think it was George Carlin who said that any creature who spends an hour every morning putting on fake eye leashes, makeup, fingernails and then wears high heels to make her look taller and make her legs look longer - HAS NO INTEREST IN HEARING THE TRUTH .

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The other thing that needs to be crushed is this idea of women expecting men to "have their sh*t together". On the surface it's not an unrealistic expectation but it's more code for "as a man you better be perfect and meet all my crazy requirements". It's also ironic because the women who say this are typically women who don't have their own sh*t together.

Women to Men: "You better have your sh*t together".

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The best response is for the man to say: "Let's look at the trash currently in your car"

From my time in the online dating cesspool I quickly learned that if a female is insistent up front that she doesn’t frick on the first date and you agree with her, it’s cool, no big deal, what you’re actually communicating and her brain is interpreting is that you don’t find her first date frickable. She’ll very quickly begin to question in her mind why you don’t find her first date frickable. If she reiterates her stance again and you agree again, she’ll then begin trying to prove that she is first date frickable.

My dumbass stumbled into this scenario without knowing what I was doing. I was out there looking for a relationship and couldn’t figure out why all these females wanted to just have sex. It wasn’t until I was explaining my dating frustrations with a female coworker that she explained to me that women were taking my agreeing with them as some sort of weird rejection. Figure that one out. It sounds like a great time until you meet someone you really like, but frick it up by turning it into a one night stand. That happened more than once unfortunately

I see people referencing this idea that 10 percent of men are sleeping with 75 percent of women, kind of like a sexual Pareto principle.

As women get older, that seems less likely to me.

After all, the only way this can happen is if a high number of women are either fine being side pieces of high value men or that they are able to delude themselves that they aren’t side pieces, despite obvious signs.

I do think the number of women who are having sex with men is overstated on Reddit and message boards.

I suspect a decent number of women are the equivalent of men who are entirely alone.

Just a guess, as most of the people I know are married or in long term relationships.

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This is why there is data showing how little sex kids are having these days.

It's not just that women are only sleeping with that top tier, it's that they simply won't have sex unless it's with that top tier.

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I've seen the same thing. A lot of women would literally rather not have sex or just pleasure themselves over having sex with a man they deem to be not top tier and therefore below them.

I've seen articles saying that the amount of sexual activity has gone down steadily over the last 30 years. It's pretty crazy how we've gone from the free sex era of the 70s nowadays to an almost puritan perspective by some women on sex. It's sad because besides being pleasurable having sex has medical benefits.

The other scary thing about all of this is what happens when all these Gen Z men get to my age and are incredibly lonely? What happens to all these Gen Z women when they get to my age, aren't getting the club attention they got when got in their 20's and are entirely alone.

The suicide problem has already hit Gen Z harder than previous generations. I think we are not that far away from a an all out suicide crisis when a lot of Gen Z get into their late 30s and especially their 40s.

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? What happens to all these Gen Z women when they get to my age, aren't getting the club attention they got when got in their 20's and are entirely alone.

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They hit the wall and then settle (and then divorce the AFC they married)