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Started By
Message
re: Work/Life Balance
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:09 am to MyRockstarComplex
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:09 am to MyRockstarComplex
I don’t bother with like half of those 
sorry I know that’s not the answer you want.
Casual dating instead of marriage + kids, minimal time spent on extended family (nothing personal, we’re all on good terms, we just don’t live close by and so don’t see each other much) and community. I do rent for now, so no “working on the house” in the sense of trying to renovate or build on any land, but I still have time to fix shite myself and usually do because it’s quicker than waiting on the landlord to call someone.
Still, it’s pretty full. And obviously I cut out the biggest time cost with marriage and kids. Unfortunately I don’t think you can truly have all of those things all the time. There’s a reason married couples with kids tend not to spend much time on hobbies and community… you have to cut some things from this list at all times, and you can’t cut much from marriage + kids without risking losing them altogether.
I think the winning move is not to play
question is, which of those are you willing to sacrifice for the others?
sorry I know that’s not the answer you want. Casual dating instead of marriage + kids, minimal time spent on extended family (nothing personal, we’re all on good terms, we just don’t live close by and so don’t see each other much) and community. I do rent for now, so no “working on the house” in the sense of trying to renovate or build on any land, but I still have time to fix shite myself and usually do because it’s quicker than waiting on the landlord to call someone.
Still, it’s pretty full. And obviously I cut out the biggest time cost with marriage and kids. Unfortunately I don’t think you can truly have all of those things all the time. There’s a reason married couples with kids tend not to spend much time on hobbies and community… you have to cut some things from this list at all times, and you can’t cut much from marriage + kids without risking losing them altogether.
I think the winning move is not to play
question is, which of those are you willing to sacrifice for the others?
0
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:13 am to Mingo Was His NameO
Damn , I’m making 65 $ now.
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:21 am to XenScott
quote:
to waste a Saturday doing yard work if I can spend it with my wife and kids.
We do yardwork together as a family most of the time. Only takes an hour or two for our place. I enjoy yard work. I like it more when the family is doing it together. Little family exercize, time together, helping each other, and it's taking pride in making the yards look nice ourselves.
Maybe stop making activities or chores a ridiculous waste of time in your head. Use those times to create good family time.
This post was edited on 3/22/25 at 10:55 am
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:23 am to MyRockstarComplex
My biggest hobby is lifting weights and I do that while everyone is sleeping during the week.
I will say, I find it easier to do more hobbies working non traditional hours 10 or 12 hour shifts let me have 2-3 week days off every week that I could get a round of golf in while kids are at school/daycare.
Working on house, yard work will usually pay someone
Usually have 2 hours in the evenings on work days after kids are asleep to hangout with wife. We try to go out to dinner at least once every 2-3 weeks, kids free.
I will say, I find it easier to do more hobbies working non traditional hours 10 or 12 hour shifts let me have 2-3 week days off every week that I could get a round of golf in while kids are at school/daycare.
Working on house, yard work will usually pay someone
Usually have 2 hours in the evenings on work days after kids are asleep to hangout with wife. We try to go out to dinner at least once every 2-3 weeks, kids free.
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:36 am to MyRockstarComplex
Keep focused on your priorities. Family, fitness and job alone can be 100%+.
Reached point in life where trading my time for money is optional and it feels great. I also vividly recall your challenge in my life, especially when kids were young.
If I represent your future self, here is what I want to your present self:
Throw out “balance”. Not possible to be effective at all those things in your list. Pick the big and important ones.
Have to work, yes. But don’t let work infiltrate the other important ones, especially family and fitness. Family as time is precious and to me hardly anything else matters but fitness (and good sleep) or else house of cards comes tumbling down. Invest in fitness and sleep and good things happen. Always.
Be present for your family. No emails or virtual calls at little league baseball games. Can be hard but forget that big work thing on your mind when at the dance recital. Prioritize your spouse. Make time for dinners and date nights.
In the end, you are trading limited time for relatively “unlimited” $. Know which of these matters most (hint: TIME)!
Lastly, and this is personal (cannot speak for you or anyone but me but think this is important), don’t set a financial target based upon anything or anyone else. Reframe the target to “enough”. When you have “enough”, to me, that means you are in full control of your time (that precious commodity). I cannot tell you how good this feels. For example, I woke today with almost exact opposite feeling as your post (and I have an intense, high expectations Corp job). But I have enough and the option to control my time 100%. Any financials past “enough” is gravy and cost/benefit upside down in my case/view.
Not easy. It does gets better!
Now go hug your spouse and kids.
Good luck.
Reached point in life where trading my time for money is optional and it feels great. I also vividly recall your challenge in my life, especially when kids were young.
If I represent your future self, here is what I want to your present self:
Throw out “balance”. Not possible to be effective at all those things in your list. Pick the big and important ones.
Have to work, yes. But don’t let work infiltrate the other important ones, especially family and fitness. Family as time is precious and to me hardly anything else matters but fitness (and good sleep) or else house of cards comes tumbling down. Invest in fitness and sleep and good things happen. Always.
Be present for your family. No emails or virtual calls at little league baseball games. Can be hard but forget that big work thing on your mind when at the dance recital. Prioritize your spouse. Make time for dinners and date nights.
In the end, you are trading limited time for relatively “unlimited” $. Know which of these matters most (hint: TIME)!
Lastly, and this is personal (cannot speak for you or anyone but me but think this is important), don’t set a financial target based upon anything or anyone else. Reframe the target to “enough”. When you have “enough”, to me, that means you are in full control of your time (that precious commodity). I cannot tell you how good this feels. For example, I woke today with almost exact opposite feeling as your post (and I have an intense, high expectations Corp job). But I have enough and the option to control my time 100%. Any financials past “enough” is gravy and cost/benefit upside down in my case/view.
Not easy. It does gets better!
Now go hug your spouse and kids.
Good luck.
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:43 am to MyRockstarComplex
Honestly, there is no balance. The scales are tipped towards work, just accept it.
Don’t seek “balance”, seek “creating moments”. Spending more time together is waking up early and being with family before everyone leaves in the morning. Prioritize the quality of time, not the quantity. Eat together, talk, put down the phones, go to church together on Sunday, go to all the “events”, plan dinners, holidays, etc together with the grandparents and family.
When you’re at work, be at work and be the best at what you do.
Don’t seek “balance”, seek “creating moments”. Spending more time together is waking up early and being with family before everyone leaves in the morning. Prioritize the quality of time, not the quantity. Eat together, talk, put down the phones, go to church together on Sunday, go to all the “events”, plan dinners, holidays, etc together with the grandparents and family.
When you’re at work, be at work and be the best at what you do.
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:48 am to MyRockstarComplex
You can have everything you want in life. You just can't have it 100%.
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:55 am to schwartzy
quote:
Definitely too late to turn back. I'm $150,000 in the hole and match next year (hopefully).
I'd argue thats not too late
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:55 am to i am dan
quote:
We do yardwork together as a family most of the time. Only takes an hour or two for our place. I enjoy yard work. I like it more when the family is doing it together. Little family exercize, time together, helping each other, and it’s taking pride in making the yards look nice ourselves.
Good show of leadership for the kids too. I know that sounds a bit serious for yardwork, but kids pick up lasting lessons from the smallest things. Even if you’re well within your rights to make them do it all, doing it as a family shows them that good leaders work alongside the people in their care to get things done together. You’re teaching them to treat people well even when they don’t have to.
Posted on 3/22/25 at 10:55 am to MyRockstarComplex
I don’t manage it, it manages me.
Posted on 3/22/25 at 11:28 am to MyRockstarComplex
quote:
I ponder this as I’m drinking coffee before everyone else wakes up and staring at my largely neglected yard.
Well we don't do this for starters
Posted on 3/22/25 at 1:08 pm to bah humbug
This is basically my blueprint although I struggle with the extended family piece at times considering I moved away from Baton Rouge to Houston.
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