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Message
Why do people always blame the victim when things happen?
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:14 am
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:14 am
I think it's because blaming the victim is always much easier and more convenient than going after the villain and making the villain have consequences for their actions.
Last year my wife’s cat that she had for 15 years went missing mysteriously while she was still living at her mom’s house. She cried her eyes out for days. Well, recently we found out that it was actually a couple of her sisters-in-law who kidnapped the cat from her mom’s house and killed her.
Now my wife feels unbelievably hurt and betrayed. She’s decided that she doesn’t want to see those sisters-in-law ever again because she doesn’t trust them and doesn’t know what other sociopathic behavior they’re capable of. I don’t blame her at all.
However, her family is saying that she still needs to come to family get togethers even if those sisters-in-law are present. So instead of making the sisters-in-law stay home for what they’ve done to my wife, they want my wife to just deal with them being around. They’re basically gaslighting my wife and making her feel like she’s the problem and that she’s destroying the family if she stays away. I think that is complete and utter BS. The sisters-in-law are the ones who should have to make things right, not my wife who they did this evil act to.
It all makes me very angry, and I reassured her that she’s totally justified in not feeling comfortable around those girls and that I’m perfectly ok with staying away from the rest of her family if that’s what it takes. I definitely am not going to have those girls around my future children.
Last year my wife’s cat that she had for 15 years went missing mysteriously while she was still living at her mom’s house. She cried her eyes out for days. Well, recently we found out that it was actually a couple of her sisters-in-law who kidnapped the cat from her mom’s house and killed her.
Now my wife feels unbelievably hurt and betrayed. She’s decided that she doesn’t want to see those sisters-in-law ever again because she doesn’t trust them and doesn’t know what other sociopathic behavior they’re capable of. I don’t blame her at all.
However, her family is saying that she still needs to come to family get togethers even if those sisters-in-law are present. So instead of making the sisters-in-law stay home for what they’ve done to my wife, they want my wife to just deal with them being around. They’re basically gaslighting my wife and making her feel like she’s the problem and that she’s destroying the family if she stays away. I think that is complete and utter BS. The sisters-in-law are the ones who should have to make things right, not my wife who they did this evil act to.
It all makes me very angry, and I reassured her that she’s totally justified in not feeling comfortable around those girls and that I’m perfectly ok with staying away from the rest of her family if that’s what it takes. I definitely am not going to have those girls around my future children.
This post was edited on 5/17/24 at 10:14 am
41
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:15 am to cbree88
quote:
it was actually a couple of her sisters-in-law who kidnapped the cat from her mom’s house and killed her.
time to run,baw. you're next.
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:16 am to cbree88
Why the frick did they kill the cat?
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:16 am to cbree88
Why did they do it? Did her mom ask them to have it put down or something?
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:17 am to cbree88
1) why did SIL kidnap and kill the cat? (Just curious)
2) frick the SIL and frick the rest of the family too
Family sucks sometimes (often a lot)
2) frick the SIL and frick the rest of the family too
Family sucks sometimes (often a lot)
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:17 am to cbree88
There are a lot of things people can do to mitigate problems/events. That doesn't make them at fault...but if you don't stick your hand in the fire then you won't get burned...
Don't try to cuddle a grizzlybear...
Don't try to cuddle a grizzlybear...
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:19 am to cbree88
quote:
a couple of her sisters-in-law who kidnapped the cat from her mom’s house and killed her.
Why? That’s a serial killer move.
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:20 am to DeafJam73
quote:
That’s a serial killer move.
that's why i told him to run.
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:20 am to cbree88
A little advice to live by... frick 'em
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:22 am to cbree88
Yeah...I'd have nothing to do with her family. Your brother in-laws sound like pieces of work too. "You killed my little sister's cat? It's okay baby that's normal. She isn't just letting it go and acting like nothing happened? My sister is just a bitch trying to destroy this family." It honestly sounds like not having them in your future is the best case.
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:22 am to cbree88
quote:
Why do people always blame the victim when things happen?
People blame whatever fits their pre-defined bias and narrative.
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:22 am to MorbidTheClown
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/17/24 at 10:24 am
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:24 am to cbree88
quote:
Last year my wife’s cat that she had for 15 years went missing mysteriously while she was still living at her mom’s house.
Why was your wife living at her mom's house instead of yours?
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:24 am to cdhorn28
quote:
Why the frick did they kill the cat?
My wife’s twin brother is married to one of them. They don’t like my wife because the twin brother asked my wife if she thought he should marry that girl, my wife said she didn’t think the girl was that good of person and not a good match for her brother, her brother fricked up and turned around and told the girl what my wife said, now the girl has a vendetta against my wife and wants to make my wife’s life as miserable as possible. The irony of it is the girl ended up showing her true colors by killing my wife’s pet. My wife was exactly right when judging her character.
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:25 am to cbree88
Who was still living at the mother’s house; your wife, the cat, or both? Why was the cat or wife living with the mother?
How did they murder the cat - euthanasia, gunshot, drowning?
How did they murder the cat - euthanasia, gunshot, drowning?
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:25 am to TideSaint
quote:
Why was your wife living at her mom's house instead of yours?
We weren’t married yet when this all went down.
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:26 am to cbree88
it's reactive abuse (which is itself a bit of a misnomer, should probably be called reactive defense) - when someone suffers some sort of abuse or trauma (i fricking hate the overuse of that word, but whatever) and reacts in a negative manner, and then the perpetrator of the original infliction uses the reaction to claim victim status. it's psychological abuse. i was trapped in this cycle for years with someone, and if i hadnt finally figured out what was going on and taken steps to break the cycle, i might have gone insane.
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:26 am to WinnaSez
quote:
How did they murder the cat - euthanasia, gunshot, drowning?
One is claiming that they just let her go in a field. The other is saying they threw the cat out the window of the car going 60 miles per hour. We don’t believe either of them’s bullshite though. They probably shot her or ran over her with the car.
This post was edited on 5/17/24 at 11:13 am
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:26 am to cbree88
Your wife was right. Stay away from the psychopath.
Who is the other SIL and why did she help? How did you and the wife find out what happened?
Who is the other SIL and why did she help? How did you and the wife find out what happened?
Posted on 5/17/24 at 10:27 am to cbree88
quote:
Well, recently we found out that it was actually a couple of her sisters-in-law who kidnapped the cat from her mom’s house and killed her.
Firstly, wouldn't her sister in laws be your sisters?
Secondly, if you kidnap and kill my pet you're 100% going missing and they will never find your body.
Thirdly, I wouldn't speak to anyone who is siding with the sister in laws ever again. Sounds like your family is bat shite crazy.
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